Deicide: Clementine X Male Reader (Book 4)

Diana-Damn Fish

I clutch my stomach when I wake up. Am I cramping is my first thought because now would be a pretty shitty time for that, but after thinking about it, I realize I'm hungry. Never have I been this hungry. My stomach is revolting because of its low morale, and damn it hurts. I made it through the night, but now I have to make it through the day, and that means finding myself some food.

I push the shelf I moved in front of the door. It had fallen on its side at some point before I got here. I'm weak from the lack of food, so it's harder to move than it was last night. My throat is pretty dry, too, so I need to find water. Honestly, I don't know where I'm meant to find food or water. There's water next to me, but water I can't purify, and that would kill me. There's probably fish in there, too, but I don't know how to fish, and I don't know if they're contaminated just like the water.

What would Mom and Dad do? No, I can't rely on what they would do. Their world and mine are different. In their world, every house had food in it, and every store still had some medicine. This world is empty, looted by everyone that came before me... Still, I think Mom and Dad would do better out here than me.

I've decided! I'm going to fish. Hopefully, I don't waste my time. I find a fishing rod in the shed I slept in. It has a line on it and a hook at the end, but no bait. I know I need bait. I don't find any inside... How do I get bait? Worms work, don't they? I set the rod against the door outside and start digging in the dirt next to the pier with my hands. It takes some time, and my hands come away terribly dirty, but I found a worm! It wriggles in my fingers, and I hate it. It's all slimy and blegh.

I take it to my fishing rod, stab it with the hook, and then take my rod to the end of the pier where I fling it... The line does not extend. I look at the fishing rod, trying to figure out how exactly I'm meant to get it to fling like I know it does. I depress a button on the rod and... It works! The line flies through the air and lands in the water. The bobber moves with the water's current, and I have to adjust for it.

...

...

...

...

I sit there for a while, waiting. Nothing bites the damn thing. At least, I don't think it does. And just when I'm about to give up, I feel a tug on it. It's slight at first, but then it really tugs, and I pull back and start twisting the wheel that reels the line in. The fish goes side to side, trying to escape me, but I keep going. Then the pressure is gone... And my line snaps... I stare at the rod, wondering where it went wrong. How long has it been rotting in that shed? Was that the problem, or did I do something?

A mix of sadness and anger fills me. I chuck the fishing rod in the river and stomp back to the damn shed. I need something to do something. I don't know what I need, but damn it I need it. I'm hungry, I'm thirsty, I'm alone, and I just want something to go right!

I leave the shed behind. There's nothing there for me. Where do I go? I still have no clue. I have so much freedom that it makes it impossible to choose. I don't know where to go for food, for water, for shelter. Just... Walk. Just... Go somewhere is all I have, and I hate it. I want to know where I need to go and what I need to do.

I kick a tree... I regret it. It hurt.

-

I collapse sometime later, clutching my stomach, shaking so bad that I think I'm dying. I feel weak, I'm sweating, I'm so hungry. I cry and curl in on myself. I don't want to be out here anymore. I don't like it out here. I'm going to die out here. I thought all I really needed was to know how to defend myself, and Mom and Dad have taught me things that I can use to help myself, but actually being out here, applying things, finding things, it's all so difficult. I know it's more difficult now than it was when my parents were out here, and they struggled to find food. I know Dad went days without it, and I'm lying here wondering how he managed that. I know I'm worthless at this shit, and they're going to lose their daughter because she couldn't figure out how to catch a fucking FISH!