Deicide: Clementine X Male Reader (Book 4)

Diana-Alone

I am alone. I don't know where anyone else is. I don't know if they're alive. I don't know anything. I have no information other than that my community is gone... I'm completely and utterly alone.

So this is how it was when Mom and Dad were my age, huh?

I'm sitting in the middle of the woods around a small fire I've made, listening for any minor change in my surroundings, scared to sleep, scared to move... At least I'm alive.

It isn't all bad, I guess. It's quiet... And I'm hungry. Thirsty... Lonely. Scared. Anxious. Depressed. Worried.

Am I all that's left?

I get up, walk for an hour or so because I don't want to sleep. Not out here. I listen to the owls, watch the bats flit across the sky above, and wish I were like them. Completely unaware of what was happening right now. They wouldn't even know about the apocalypse. The world's probably better for them now anyway.

I wish someone was here with me. Anyone.

I realize I don't know what to do. I stop walking because I have nowhere to go. Home is gone. I don't know if there are other communities left. Even if they were, I can't get to them. I don't know how... I start walking again. Maybe I'll stumble into a camp of my people.

I think if I stop, I'll die. Like, really stop and do nothing. I wouldn't die of natural causes... I'll kill myself from the despair that I'm pushing down. I can feel it there, way back there, glutting itself on the thoughts it can reach. If I let it, it'll consume my every thought, and out here, amongst absolutely nothing, it'll win. And sure, it might be nice to die. It'd be easier. I wouldn't be scared anymore. Wouldn't have to worry anymore. Wouldn't have to...

I hit myself in the head. I feel stupid when I do it. Embarrassed that the tree to my right might be judging me. Fuck you, tree. You can't even move.

I walk. And I walk. And I walk. In the dark. Alone.

...

...

I can't be all that's left.

...

...

I can't be.

...

...

Mom and Dad are ok.

...

...

Mars and Dare are ok.

...

...

I'm ok.

...

...

I want to go home. I want to curl up in my bed. I want to pour some water. I want to make some toast. I want to go to school. I want to play games. I want to see my family. I want to hug my family. I want to talk to my family. I want them to hold me. I want them to tell me I'll be alright. I want them to tell me what to do.

I thought I could do this. That it was easy. But I'm already losing the mind game. I have no direction.

I fall down a hill because I couldn't see the tree root at my feet. Rocks scrape against my back, I roll through bushes, I gain momentum, and I'm unable to stop, then I end with my back against a tree. I let out a little yelp but nothing more. Noise is the enemy.

I stand up and immediately lean against the tree. My back hurts. I stand up straight, and through the pain, I stretch my back, hoping it does something to help the pain. It doesn't really. I walk through it, hoping it'll help eventually.

I'm dead on my feet after a while longer of walking. I should sleep. I don't know how Mom and Dad went without sleeping for days at a time. Must be part of that mind game that I'm losing.

I find a river. There's a dock down it some distance. I make my way toward it. I find a little shed at the beginning of it. I get inside. There's no bed. Just a hard floor. But it's shelter. I shove something I can't make out against the door, and I lie down. There's nothing nice about this spot other than there are four walls, a roof, and no way to get in without me noticing... It'll have to do.