Never felt like this before - Leah Williamson

Missing home

May 2021

Olivia's POV
There are now three matches left for this season to end, today we play Wolfsburg away and although it's not on our stadium we are just as excited as always, but this match has also a special reason for us to be extra motivated, because if we draw or win it then we will win the league this year.

We're now currently on our way to AOK stadium and everyone's with their airpods, listening to their prematch playlist. You can sense the excitement and the determination to win the match even though we're all in silence. I'm sat at the back next to the window and on the other side of me are Gwinn and Syd. When we arrived at the stadium we could see mostly Wolfsburg supporters but some of them were ours. We got off the coach and we said hi to some fans while going inside into the changing rooms.

My shirt was next to Syd's, so I took a photo and post it on my instagram. Lately, people have been thinking that me and Syd might be dating, but that's just not right, it does not feel right. Sometimes we joke about that because there's no way we could date. Apart from that, we all got changed and went outside to warm up before the match starts.

It was now only ten minutes left before kick off and both teams are lined up in the tunnel ready to go. I was in the starting eleven, something that has been regular thing since the start of this season, however it still feels as if it was my first start ever. I saw the referees starting to walk down the tunnel and in that moment, my mind just blocked out everything and was only focused on the match and winning it.

As soon as I stepped on the pitch, I felt goosebumps all over my body. I realised that we could actually win the league, but what felt so special was that I feel that I have actually contributed and helped my team, something that two years ago I didn't feel.

No one's POV
"The match is about to start, Bayern VS Wolfsburg, you always know that whenever this two teams play each other you're going to enjoy the match. So we'll see how this one goes, though Bayern has some extra motivation, because if they win or draw, they'll win the league so I'm sure we'll see a very attacking Bayern. "

kick off - "The match has just started and Bayern has the possession with Lina Magull passing the ball quickly to Olivia Anderson, who by the way is only 24 years old and a regular start this season as a midfielder, young but very talented. She came from Arsenal two years ago and she's been a key player this season with those filtered passes that mostly finished on goal. Her contract is expiring this summer but she has the option of extending it for one more year."

34' - "Anderson has now recovered the ball for Bayern and she has space to run, she looks up to see which players could she pass the ball to and she's now almost inside the area, she passes the ball to Lohmann who puts the ball into the back of the net. These two really have shown their connection on the pitch."

44' - "What a great opportunity for Wolfsburg to get the equalizer but Popp misses and the ball goes wide

68' - "Gwinn makes a run between the two center backs of Wolfsburg, Magull notices this and assists Gwinn for the second goal

81' - "Pajor shoots from outside the area and it just slips past Bayern's goalkeeper, what a goal!"

full time - "the match ends on a 2-1 to Bayern and they can now call themselves the winners of the league."

Olivia's POV
Wow just wow, we've just won the league and on an away match. I'm buzzing at this, I can't stop smiling. After the final whistle I ran to Gwinn and Syd and we just jumped and screamed to 'Freed from desire' , we went to the corner were our fans were located and celebrated the victory with them. It was at this moment that even though I was so happy here at Bayern, I knew that where I really wanted to win the league and feel what I'm feeling right now was back in London with Arsenal. But this is not the moment to think about that, after being on the pitch for a while with the team we went back to the changing rooms, though the celebrations didn't stop at all. On the coach, the music was loud and we were all singing while drinking some beers, I know tomorrow we'll regret having these many beers, but at least we don't have training.

We arrived at Munich nearly at 21:00, we were already tired so some of us went straight to our homes, including me, while other ones went to continue the party to some club. First, I dropped off Syd at her place and then I went to mine, once I've arrived I texted my mum. Who immediately called me.

Mum❤️: Congratulations darling on winning the league!! we're so proud of you

Olivia: thanks mum, I'm buzzing for the win... but you know...

Mum❤️:  what is it?, you don't sound very excited for the win, is everything okay?

Olivia: yeah no, everything's fine but it's just that when I was celebrating the title, I couldn't stop thinking that, even though Bayern really gives me everything, the club I want to win the league and titles is Arsenal and now I feel guilty for feeling like this. I don't know what to do mum my contract is coming to an end but I miss London and you guys.

My mum knows that me and Leah haven't really spoken during the season. She was the only one I told about how I felt while we were slowly drifting apart. She told me that sometimes people find it easier ignoring the person so that they don't miss them too much, but I know Leah wouldn't do that, it was weird because, every time I was back home to see my family, I always ended up visiting Leah's family but she never was when I went, she was  always out mostly with Jordan,Dan, Beth, Lia. So by the time she was back I was already gone. I'm not saying she can't have any friends other than me, of course she can, but really? I come home and she just ignores me? that made me feel awful. But I suppose she had a good reason that maybe someday I'll know. I was brought back to reality when my mom spoke.

Mum❤️: Olivia, don't stress okay? Look, we love seeing you shine there and getting the recognition and playtime that you deserve but if you feel like it's not your home then maybe you need to consider to move back to Arsenal if the club is interested in signing you again. I'm not saying that you need to move but just think about it okay, but not today or tomorrow, when the time comes then you decide with Will but for now just enjoy Olivia, you just won the league.

Olivia: okay yeah, I won't think about it until it's time to make the decision. I love you mum you know that right? goodnight.

Mum❤️: I know darling I love you too, goodnight and enjoy your time there!!

Olivia: I will, bye mum love you

Once I hung up, I went upstairs to have a shower so that I could go to sleep as soon as I finish having a shower and brushing my teeth. Once I was done, I put on my pyjamas and put my phone to charge and went to bed. I was that tired that I felt asleep the moment my head hit the pillow.

Leah's POV
It was now almost eleven pm and I was debating whether to text her or not. I've watched the match between Bayern and Wolfsburg because I knew that if Bayern won it, they would win the league, which they did. And now here I am, typing and erasing every single message. We haven't talked at all for almost a year now, it was mostly my fault because this last year has been a little bit rough for me and well I just stopped answering her which is something that I regret doing, though our schedules didn't really helped us. When I entered in our chat and saw that she was the last one to send a message in May 2020, I couldn't escape the feeling of guilt for literally ignoring her. Also, I know that her contract with Bayern is coming to an end and that Arsenal is interested in having Olivia back, because her time in Germany has really helped her improve her skills. That's another reason for me to just text her so that maybe we can start again and try to be like we were before she left, so that maybe I could tell her why I didn't answer or even contact her at all.
"Fuck it" I say as I decided to text her and see what happens.

Leah - Hi Olivia, I just wanted to say that I'm happy for you, you deserve this. Hope to see you soon

I sent her the text, and went to sleep.

"Now you can't go back Leah" - I whispered to myself. I really hope that we can try and become best friends again I miss her.

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A/N - here's chapter 2, should Olivia stay or move back to Arsenal? We'll see, hope you're enjoying the book so far. Vote if you like it and let me know if you have any suggestions.