Make me.

13

Aaron's POV:

God, what the fuck did I do last night??? I have a splitting headache and Aurelia's arm is wrapped around my chest. Flashes of last night came back to me. Fuck, I nearly kissed her. Nearly. I groaned as I opened my eyes, the sunlight blinding me for a few moments. I looked down to see Aurelia sleeping, her arm spread across my chest and she was lying on her back. Oh, God. How does she look so beautiful? Is it even possible or is it just a dream? If it's a dream I hope I never wake up. She was a little drunk last night. Not as drunk as I was but drunk. At least, I remember what happened last night. I hope.
She slowly opened her eyes and looked at me. Her eyebrows furrowed and she moved away from me. My heart hurt when she did so but I didn't say anything.
"We've to leave in a while." She said softly.
"I'm aware."
I could barely recognize the sound of my own voice.
I got up and walked to the bathroom. Why the fuck did I decide to sleep with jeans on? Drunk Me is not a smart person. Why the fuck do I even drink? I'd rather not forget the rare moments I have with Aurelia.
I took a cold shower, trying to get rid of this hangover, and walked out, my hair dripping with water. She looked at me for a moment before going back to reading her porn book. The book I stole from her was breaking my heart. I couldn't bring myself to finish it. I sighed as I looked for some clothes in my bag. Oh fuck. Fuck. Fuck. I punched Dean last night. I woke up in the middle of the night, I don't even remember what time and I knocked on every door in the hotel till I found his room. I punched him for looking at her. I didn't want to do it in front of her because that would just be scary. Why the fuck is this happening to me? But, she doesn't hate me, right? I mean, she wouldn't request for us to continue sleeping in the same room if she hated me. She thought I wouldn't find out.
She is the most stupid person I've ever met. The receptionist asked me too and when I said I'd have to check with Aurelia, she told me she already asked and she said she didn't want to move. Maybe I was making progress with her. At least I hope I was. If only she dumped Nate. One of the main things I hated about him was that he was taller than me. Just by three inches but still, it pissed me off. I could beat the fuck out of him though. If Aurelia wasn't so naive for him, maybe I would have beaten him up for being with her.

Archer called again. Aurelia was in the shower so I picked up the call.
"I am so glad you picked up."
"What's wrong?"
"Okay, you can't tell her I told you this but Aurelia told Blair everything about last night."
" Everything?"
" Yes."
" What did she say?"
" She cried. A lot. She said she loves you and she doesn't know what to do. So Blair asked her to choose."
" Who did she choose?"
He paused for a moment.
" Aaron... Are you sure you wanna know?"
"Please." My voice broke. I know she wouldn't choose me.
"Nate."
My heart shattered into pieces.
" You need to tell her, Aaron."
" I can't."
" Are you scared?"
"I'm terrified," I admitted.
" Why?"
" She can destroy me without lifting a finger, Archer. Hurt me in ways I could never imagine without even touching me. If I tell her, all that's gonna happen is that she's going to reject me and my heart will break all over again. "
" What if she doesn't? She doesn't just cry over anything, Aaron. "
" She will. " My voice broke. " I fucking love her, Archer. She'll never see it. I've tried. I've tried so hard but it doesn't work. " A tear slipped past my eye as my chest hurt.
" She loves you, Aaron. I'm not lying when I say this. "
" She loves him more. "
My heart was broken even more. Having to accept this is the hardest thing I'll ever have to do but I will do it.
"Forget her then. Don't talk to her after today."
I closed my eyes, trying to prevent more tears from falling.
"Okay," I said and hung up.
I couldn't stop myself from crying and I just grabbed a pillow, trying to muffle my sobs. I never cry. Not over a girl especially but she makes me weak. So weak. I got up and wiped my tears when I heard the shower turn off.
I sighed before taking an Advil.
"How's your head?" She asked once she came out. Only a towel covered her beautiful curves.
"Fine." My voice sounded much rougher than usual.
"Oh. Okay."
She noticed.
"Well, what time do you wanna leave?" She'd worn her clothes.
"I'm fine with whatever. "
" Uh... Are you okay? "
" I'm fine. "
" Do you remember what happened last night? "
I looked at her for a moment. I could never forget what happened last night.
" No. I don't. "
" Okay. " She looked disappointed.
I couldn't care less.
"Are you okay?" She asked again.
No, I'm fucking not. It's all your fault.
"Not like you fucking care, Gray. Just fuck off."
"I just wanna make sure you're fine."
"Why? So you can have a driver back to Boston?"
She scoffed.
" Fuck you. " She said.
"I'm done with your bullshit, Gray," I said, standing up.
"What bullshit, Hawthorne? You nearly fucking kissed me last night and now you have the nerve to act like this." She said, walking closer to me.
" I would never kiss you, Gray. Your slutty little self can stay the fuck away from me. If I don't talk to you once in the next billion years, it won't bother me. Because, you know what? You mean nothing to me." I lied straight to her face.
Her mouth fell open and she looked at me for a moment. Her hurt expression turned to an angry one.
"What was last night then?"
"It was lust. Although I don't see how anyone could look at your body without throwing up. I was drunk and it was a mistake. "
I could tell her heart was broken at my words, especially after what she said to me about her mother. I can't take it back.
Her nostrils flared and her eyes got moist.
"You're the one who's been practically begging me to get with you this past week. "
I would have begged for the rest of my life if you hadn't chosen someone else over me.
"It was stupid of me and trust me, I'm gonna regret it for the rest of my fucking life. The fact that I could feel even a sliver of attraction towards you will haunt me for the rest of my life. I hate you, Aurelia. I always will The fact that you think anyone could love a person like you is miserable. "
She swallowed a lump in her throat but she didn't say anything.
" You wanted to know so bad what you said that night, right? You said you want me. "
Her mouth fell open.
" Stop lying to me just to hurt me, Hawthorne. "
" What about what you've been doing this past week, Gray? "
" I haven't done shit. "
" You were ready to cheat on your pathetic boyfriend. Weren't you? What were you pleading for, Gray? Hm? "
" I hate you. "
Her voice cracked as she said this and it was almost like I could feel my heartstrings breaking one by one.
"No. You don't." My voice was calm. The complete opposite of the raging beat of my heart.
"I do! How miserable do you have to be to drag someone down to hell with you?" She yelled.

"You make me miserable, Gray. Looking at your face every day gives me nightmares. I wish I never met you and I hope you die. Fuck yourself." I laughed, "Unless you want to find a new boyfriend to fuck this week."
" In case I haven't made it clear enough to you, Gray. I hate you. I hate your miserable smile. I hate your lips. I hate your eyes. I hate your smile. I want to kill myself knowing that I have to keep looking at you every time I get into a class. I despise you."

She didn't say anything.

" Stop saying my fucking name. Stop talking to me. Stop looking at me. And stop thinking that you could be anything but a fuck toy to anyone you're with. You're not worthy of love. You never will be."
She glared at me before grabbing her bag and walking out, slamming the door behind her.

I collapsed on the bed. Breathing was getting increasingly difficult. My heart hurts. My body aches. My eyes swelled with tears. My chest hurts with the lack of oxygen and I realized I made the biggest mistake of my life by letting her walk away.
She went back home on her father's private jet and didn't talk to me again.

I called Archer, not knowing what else to do.
"I did it."
"What?"
"She won't talk to me again. I've made sure of it."
" What did you do? Why are you gasping for air? Is everything okay?"
" Everything is perfect. I'm sure you'll find out from Blair soon enough."

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