PJO oneshots, smutshots, scenarios (maybe some quotes)

Random PJO Quotes, pt1

Jason Grace: So I have made the decision to trust you. Will Solace: A horrible decision, really.

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Nico di Angelo: Though I admit I don't know much about you, I am feeling pretty confident in my assessment that you are probably some sort of sick deadly fuck. Annabeth Chase: Who told you my secret?

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Will Solace: If I punch myself and it hurts, am I weak or strong? Annabeth Chase: Strong. Jason Grace: Weak. Frank Zhang: An idiot, is what your are.

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Piper McLean: I'll offer you some friendly advice- Jason Grace: I don't want your advice. Piper McLean: Well, then consider it unfriendly advice.

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Nico di Angelo: But that place is haunted. Jason Grace: Ghosts prey on fear. Just be confident! Nico di Angelo, marching into the haunted house I AM NOT SCARED! I AM NOT A PUSSY!

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Piper McLean: Can we go out to get icecream? Will Solace: Did you ask Annabeth Chase? Piper McLean: They said no. Will Solace: Then why did you ask me? Piper McLean: They're not the boss of you. Will Solace, internally: It's a trap, it's a trap, it's a trap.

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Percy Jackson: I'm going to get myself some soup. Will Solace: Be careful not to burn yourself, it's hot. Percy Jackson: Pfft, I won't burn myself. *30 seconds later* Percy Jackson, entering the room: I burned myself.

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Percy Jackson: What is it called when you kill a friend? Piper McLean: Homicide. Jason Grace: Murder. Frank Zhang: Homiecide.

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this shit was so confusin-)

Piper McLean: Hey, Annabeth Chase?

Annabeth Chase, playing a video game with the squad: What?

Piper McLean: Can I share something with you from earlier today? Annabeth Chase: Wh- what is it, Piper McLean? Piper McLean: Well, I sent you a text early in the morning. Annabeth Chase: Mhm. Piper McLean: Because I have to go out of town for a weekend this month. And, so I was like- I won't give specific dates, but I was like, do you have any preference whether I go this weekend or the next weekend? Annabeth Chase: Yeah? Piper McLean: Your response. Annabeth Chase: *trying not to crack up* Piper McLean: At 9:30 in the morning. Piper McLean: "motherfucking Jesse Eisenberg jesus Christ motherfucking Facebook movie jesus can you believe this shit" Annabeth Chase: *laughing* Piper McLean: No- no- no punctuation. Random capitalization. Annabeth Chase: You just made me dieeee... Piper McLean: So I respond, "I have no idea what we're talking about right now." Piper McLean: 45 minutes pass. I get a text from you. Piper McLean: "goddamn created Facebook and fucking lawyers and shit right fucking winklevoss twins goddamn rowing the boat fuck yo shit i cant even fucking believe this shit have you seen this shit fuck I just watched this shit fuck Jesse eisenberg man" Annabeth Chase: *wheezing with laughter* Piper McLean: I respond "Annabeth Chase, you're scaring me." An hour passes- Piper McLean: You respond, "motherfucking spiderman Spiderman you put in the time fuck put in the time motherfucking built shit with his bare hands fucking best friend shit jesse eisenberg" Piper McLean: "im very tired" Annabeth Chase: *struggling to breathe* Piper McLean: And- and I'm just like, "No- no worries, Annabeth Chase, I'll- I'll do most of the talking at the hangout today-" Piper McLean: IMMEDIATE, like, response, like I'm talking 5 seconds later, Piper McLean: "no man ill just talk all day shit man you have to be so interested in the shit I have to say about the Facebook movie fuck dude I just watched it a year and a half ago fuck Jesse Eisenberg man he fucked over Spider-man crazy Winklevoss twins rowing Trent Resin or did the soundtrack fuck this guy who invented Facebook I don't like dying I can't think of who the fuck invented Facebook All I can think is who played the guy who invented Facebook who the fuck invented Facebook" Piper McLean: And then, in all capital letters, two hours later, Annabeth Chase: *falling over with laughter* Piper McLean: "MARK ZUCKERBERG."

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Will Solace: For self defense reasons, I'm going to pretend to be a burglar and you guys have to act wisely. Jason Grace, Nico di Angelo, & Frank Zhang: Okay. Will Solace: If you don't want to die, give me all your money. Jason Grace: Bold of you to assume I have money. Nico di Angelo: Bold of you to assume I don't want to die. Frank Zhang: Bold of you to assume I can die.

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Annabeth Chase: You've got to learn to love yourself. Frank Zhang: But don't you hate yourself. Annabeth Chase: Yeah, but this is about you. Stay focused.

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Jason Grace: There was a motor close to where I am right now. Jason Grace: A motor- a motorcycle? Jason Grace: Oh sorry, a murder. Piper McLean: That escalated quickly.

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Percy Jackson: *Posts a super low-quality image to the group chat* Nico di Angelo: If I had a dollar for every pixel in this image, I'd have 15 cents. Percy Jackson: If I had a dollar for every ounce of rage I felt in my body after I read this text, I would have enough money to buy a cannon to fire at you. Annabeth Chase: Actually I did the math, Nico di Angelo would have $225, not $0.15. Nico di Angelo: Fam I'm right here.... Will Solace: If I had a dollar I would buy a can of soda :) Percy Jackson: while you're there could you buy me an apply juice please? Will Solace: Sorry I only have a dollar. Percy Jackson: :( Annabeth Chase: Hey I just realized my friend is right, Nico di Angelo would have $22,500 because it's a dollar for every pixel, not a cent. Will Solace: If I had $22,500 I would buy a can of soda and an apply juice. Annabeth Chase: You can buy anything you want with $22,500. Jason Grace: Yeah and they want soda and apply juice. Annabeth Chase: Apply juice to what. Jason Grace: Directly to the forehead. Nico di Angelo: Great chat everyone.

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Nico di Angelo: Percy Jackson, I don't like you. Percy Jackson: What did you say? Nico di Angelo: You heard me! Percy Jackson, internally: And it turns out I actually didn't hear what the fuck you just said.

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Percy Jackson: Why is Jason crying? Piper McLean: They saw a leaf on the sidewalk and- Jason Grace: IT LOOKED SO CRUNCHY! Percy Jackson: Please don't say what I think you're gonna say- Jason Grace: AND WHEN I STEPPED ON IT THERE WAS NO CRUNCH! Percy Jackson: NO, NOT THAT!

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Percy Jackson: It's not gonna work, I'm not a snitch. Cop: Fine, let's try something else. Tag a friend you recently committed a crime with. Percy Jackson: Lmao, @Nico di Angelo.

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Cop: What are your names? Nico di Angelo: Don't tell them, Piper McLean. Cop, writing: Piper McLean... Nico di Angelo: Crap. Piper McLean: Nice going, Nico di Angelo. Cop: Piper McLean: Uh oh.

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Frank Zhang: *cocks gun* Go to Bed. This is no longer a request, This is now a Threat.

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Percy Jackson: You... you saved me. You're not a beast at all. YOU'RE A HERO, AN UGLY UGLY UGLY HERO! Jason Grace: Call me ugly again, and maybe I will eat you.

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Annabeth Chase: *in a jail cell* What about my Miranda rights!? You're supposed to say I have 'the right to remain silent'"! NOBODY SAID I HAD THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT! Nico di Angelo: *in the cell next to them* You have the right to remain silent, what you lack is the capacity.

these made me cackle >:3