Chapter 9

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My alarm goes off. I get up and start getting ready for the day. Today I decided to wear some blue jeans and a silky light blue top with a cream colored light sweater and my nikes.

I put on my jewelry and perfume and then read my devotional.

August 28

When suffering strikes, remember that I am sovereign and that I can bring good out of everything. Do not try to run from pain or hide from problems. Instead, accept adversity in My Name, offering it up to Me for My Purposes. This, your suffering gains meaning and draw you closer to Me. Joy emerges from ashes of adversity through your trust and thankfulness.

"Thank you Father." I say.

***

I get to school and go to the cafeteria to meet up with Sherwood.

"Heyy!" I say.

"Hey." He says in a not so enthusiastic tone.

He's not much of a morning person. But he gets up and we walk to our first period. We sit in our seats and being to do our work. But then there's a knock at the door.

"Come in." Miss Scott says.

It's Miss Swan. Today she is wearing some white pants with a blue top and black flats.

"What's your favorite flower Brooklyn." Sherwood asks me.

"Hm never really thought about it." I say.

"Why do you ask?" I ask.

"Just wondering." He says.

I'm not sure what Miss Swan had to talk to Miss Scott about but as she's walking out she looks at me.

She confuses me, she wants to look at me all the time but when I talk to her or give her a hug she gets cold...

The bell rings we pack up our stuff and walk to maths we have a quiz today, I made a 89. Then I have to go to English.

"See ya later." I say.

"Okay." He says as we part ways.

I walk in and sit down. Miss Swan is sitting at her desks going over some papers. The bell rings and she walks to the front of the class.

"Alright class today I want you to write an essay on your favorite flower." She says.

"And you may begin." She says as she goes to her desk.

Did she really pick this topic because Sherwood asked what my favorite flower was?

I believe my favorite flower is a dandelion. And so I begin to write.

If I had to choose a favorite flower it would be a dandelion, because first dandelions are yellow which is my favorite color and they are beautiful. But when they die they turn white and you can blow it and make a wish. Which indicates that even after it dies it's still something so beautiful, you can even make a wish off of it. It also represents hope, growth and healing. Which are all important in the mists of our circumstances.

As I turn my paper in the bell rings. I pack up my things and head to lunch, I decided I wanted to eat in the library for some reason today. I walk in and sit down and start eating when I'm finished I study some.

Someone walks in and I look to see who it is, it's Bethany.

"Hey, Bethany would you like to join me?" I ask.

"Sure." She says.

She sits down across from me and we start talking.

"How are you?" I ask.

"I'm doing okay, how are you?" She asks.

"I'm good." I say.

"I'm sorry about the other day, you didn't deserve those things they said about you." I say.

"Thank you, I just feel bad your friends got suspended because of me." She says.

Her eyes start to tear up.

"Aww come here." I say as I sit on her side and start holding her, her head buried in the crook of my neck. She holds me back. I can feel her begin to soften in the hug as she begin to cry.

"It wasn't your fault sweet girl." I say rubbing her back.

"You did nothing wrong, I promise." I say.

She pulls back. Looking at me her eyes puffy and red. I wipe her tears.

"You are more precious than rubies! And God created you for a purpose." I say.

She pulls me in a hug.

"Thank you." She says.

"You're welcome." I say.

The bell rings and we both walk out.

"Bye." I say as we part ways.

"Bye and thank you again." She says with a smile.

"You're welcome." I say smiling back.

She's so beautiful and doesn't even realize it because they've made her feel less than.

I walk into Science and sit in my seat as I wait for Sherwood. He walks in and we start doing are work as we talk about our day. We just had to do a work sheet.

***

When I get home I FaceTime Anna, Edie and Bell. We just talk about what ever comes to mind really.

I then go wash and read my Bible. Tonight I read Psalm 103:11 - For as the heaven is high above the earth, so great is his mercy toward them that fear Him.

I say my prayers and stare at my ceiling.

Though I try to help those around me the best I can I just feel like I'm failing God because I don't know where I'm going. And truth is I have attachment issues, it's like a cycle that just repeats itself and what If that is all it is with Miss Swan? Uh I don't know. Lord please help me, I shouldn't think about Miss Swan as much as I do but I can't help but to.

I just want to love someone who will love me back the same way I do them. Cuddle with me, to be able to kiss them on the cheek and they not think it's weird and to have them understand me. Just a person I can love and grow more in Christ with as a friend.

I think as I begin to fall asleep.

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