PTSD

Chapter 12 : Instagram girl

Chapter 12

Later...    

Riker POV

I woke up in the middle of the night because Mark had to get me out of another flashback. So of course now today I was exhausted.

Mark had some yard work to do today, so I went outside with him to help. He told me I could cut down the plants growing near the mailbox and he gave me clippers.

So I sat on the curb and started cutting down the plants. Everything was starting to grow now that it was spring, and Mark can't really mow the lawn around the mailbox, so some tall grass and weeds have started growing there.

My phone dinged, so I set down the clippers and took my phone out. It was a message from the girl I didn't know on Instagram, saying I was cute and asking me out on a date.

I was very confused. I don't even know her. So I asked her how she knows me. And she said school. Which is what I figured.

I don't know about this. I don't even know her.

I put my phone back in my pocket and went back to cutting the grass and weeds down.

I was gathering up everything I'd cut when a car came down our street really slowly. The windows were really dark, so I couldn't see inside. But it was starting to freak me out, so I finished picking up the grass and weeds and ran to the backyard.

"Dad, there was a car going down our road really slow. What if it was-"

"Riker, calm down. It was probably someone who was lost or didn't know where they were going."

He took the grass and weeds from me and threw them in the woods. 

"Did you finish the mailbox?"

"Yeah. But please don't make me go back to the front yard without you."

"Ok, relax Riker."

He put his arm around me and pulled me to his side.

"You're safe. I promise."

"Is there anything else I can help with?"

"Yeah. You can use the rake to rake up the sticks in the yard. Some branches broke off in the last storm we had."

"Ok."

I got the rake, but then my phone dinged again. It was the girl, asking me if I would go out with her again. I really don't know about this.

I told her I don't really even know her so I wasn't sure if we should go out. And she said it doesn't have to be anything serious and that it can just be a casual thing. And then she mentioned a restaurant we could meet up at that wasn't too far.

I told her I would think about it. And I started raking.

Later...

Riker POV

I made sure I stayed in the back yard with Mark because I just got scary vibes from that car earlier. He said it was nothing, but I'm paranoid. 

I finished raking and then we both went inside. 

"Are you still remembering to take your anxiety medication?"

"Yeah."

He started making dinner for us.

"Why did you ask if I was taking it? Do I seem different?"

"No. You seem just as anxious as you did before, which is why I wanted to make sure you were taking it."

"What if I keep taking it and it still doesn't help? I feel like it's not helping."

"We could get your dose raised. We could try switching to a different medication. Or maybe therapy."

"No."

"No therapy?"

"No. I don't want to talk to a stranger about all of this. Do you know how much I would have to explain? I don't want to have to relive everything over again."

"Ok. We can try other things first. But if it starts getting really bad, we might need to consider it."

"But I can't!"

"Riker-"

"I can't talk about all that! You know how hard it was for me to even tell you! I can't tell a stranger!"

Mark came over and wrapped his arms tightly around me. My heart was racing and I felt super panicky. But I was trying to stay calm and not have this turn into a panic attack.

"Riker, if we need to consider seeing a therapist, I'll make sure you're ok through the whole thing. I can come with you and sit with you the whole time if you need me to. You'll be ok. You don't have to do it alone."

"Promise?"

"I promise, Riker."