In Our Heads

Chapter 22

*****

Cassian walked into the dining room somewhat cautiously before he realised his parents were not there. Relief would have settled then, but he knew he would have to see and talk to them eventually and that kept his body feeling tense.

He sat down running his hand over his face, trying to brush away the fatigue that not even exercising had been able to draw him out of. Greeting Rosa as she walked into the room, he told her he would rather eat cereal instead of having something made before he glanced at the clock. It was just past nine, he had not heard from his parents at all or seen them in their offices. He would have to leave at ten for his lesson.

"Are my parents gone?" he asked when Rosa placed the box in front of him.

"Yes. Your father said Jonathan would drive you to the hotel at ten and he would meet you after your lesson."

He nodded, quite relieved about not finding out if his parents knew he fainted and then listening to them tell him he should have realised something like that would happen if he skipped breakfast when he had a game. He began to throw cereal into a bowl but frowned as just seeing the food made his stomach turn.

Deciding to ignore that and force himself to eat anyway because he did not want a repeat of what happened at the game, he finished setting up his breakfast and began to eat. He chewed nauseating spoonfuls of cereal and struggled to swallow as he ran through his messages.

Most were his friends checking in, a couple from one of his father's assistants relaying messages his father was too busy to send himself about a meeting set after his management training session. He had been answering some of the messages when Rosa walked back into the dining room.

"I'm going to get some groceries. Would you like anything?"

He shook his head with a smile and greeted her as she left, returning to continue the assuring messages to his friends before he finished breakfast feeling sick to his stomach as he shivered slightly but tried to cover all of that by drinking some water.

He got up attempting to take the dish to the kitchen to clean it but ran from the dining room when he felt the contents in his stomach rise, making it to the bathroom just in time to spill his guts into the toilet. He spent a few seconds bent over before standing up with a groan.

It was gross and disappointing after the amount of work it took to get all of that down in the first place, but he guessed that he was not that hungry anyway. He was nauseous and tired. Flushing the toilet, he turned to the sink to brush his teeth and then returned to the dining room to clean the bowl and spoon.

Cassian sat down at the kitchen island waiting for the nausea to die down. He found himself staring out into the backyard, watching the pool of water ripple as the wind blew. He was not really sure what was going on with him, or what he would do about it. He had hoped it would just blow over, that it was nerves or something, but it wasn't getting better.

He didn't like that thought, didn't want to consider that he wasn't okay. He just wanted to keep everything sailing smoothly, as it always had, but the more he tried to avoid figuring out why he constantly had those worried, panicked feelings in his chest, the worse it seemed to become.

There was just so much else to focus on, all more important than what he was feeling. There were things he needed to do, keep doing well and focusing on anything other than what he had to do was just a distraction. He ran his hands through his hair sighing slightly and leaning his head down on the table as he felt slightly dizzy again but it subsided soon after his forehead touched the cold countertop.

He closed his eyes leaning his head onto his arms as he crossed them beneath it. He was tired enough to begin drifting off despite how bad he felt and all the thoughts in his mind, that was until a loud buzzing broke out against the counter, making him jump up and almost fall off of the chair he was on. He sat up, quickly grabbing the phone to answer it.