The Public Eye

Chapter 2

During the dinner I think about Lola and I don't eat too much at that moment and I bow my head a little. Since I became a fan of her she seemed to me attractive and I would consider her as my celebrity crush. My dad sees that I'm not eating much and asks me if there's something wrong and my mom replies to him jokingly "She might be thinking about her idol Lola" and there I raise my head and laugh at my nerves.

...

When I finish washing the dishes I go to my bedroom, I lay on my bed and use my phone. Since I think about Lola a lot since the day I met her, I decided to try sending her a DM on Photogram to see if she would ever reply to me. I sent her a simple "Hi" and left the phone on the bed and ran into the bathroom. When I go back to bed and grab the phone, I see that I received a message from Lola. @lolaofficial replied to you. I didn't expect that she, such a well-known artist, was going to reply to me. I thought she would never reply to me. My jaw dropped when I read the notification that Lola replied to me. And there we started talking.

– Hi

– Hey Rebecca. How it 's going?

– I'm doing good. How about u?

– Everything is okay, I'm kinda tired because I started rehearsing for your dad's birthday today.

– Oh that's great! I can't wait to see u again. I really liked you when we saw each other at the golf game.

– I liked you too, Rebecca. It's good that we are going to see each other again.

– Yeah Lola 😁✨

– Well, I have to go to sleep. I have to keep rehearsing early tomorrow. It was a pleasure talking to you. See you 🤎👋🏻

– Have a rest Lola. See you ✨💛

Talking to her made me smile hugely. I rarely get this happy. Daphne out of nowhere asks me why I was looking at my phone with a smile. In my family they consider me as "the quiet one" and if I do an expression like happiness they get surprised. I loathe it when they get surprised by something minimum I do. "Nothing Daphne. *i laugh* It's none of your business" "Okay Rebecca... Anyways, could you help me to choose what I'm going to wear tomorrow? I have a hang-out with my friends". I sigh nodding my head and go to her room to help her. She starts talking about boys and that she's talking to one. Good for her I guess. And after talking about her hang-out with her friends and about boys she asks me if I like a guy or if I liked a guy one time in my life. "And... What about you? Have you ever liked a guy? Because you were never seen dating with anyone" And then my belly starts to hurt from nerves. I can't tell her that I never liked men because she will suspect my homosexuality and I'm %100 sure she would tell our parents because of how gossipy she is. I don't know how to respond to her. "Daph, I'm an introvert and you think that I can date someone?" Sometimes, being an introvert is good for making excuses when people ask you that. "Okayy Rebe! I was just asking"

I go to sleep in my room and when I lie on my bed I ask myself if one day I will be able to be open to the people close to me and stop being so shy. When I ask myself that question I start to cry hugging my pillow. I don't know why it's hard for me to be open with people. I wanna come out and stop pretending that I like something which I don't in reality. After crying for a long time I finally fell asleep.

The next day, I woke up at 10 am with half-red eyes. It must have been because I cried so bad and that's why it took me a while to sleep. I slept less than six hours. In the hallway where I go to the bathroom I find my mom and she asks me why my eyes are kinda red and I don't say anything and I directly go to the bathroom to wash my face and I go to the kitchen to have breakfast.

While I was drinking tea and looking out the kitchen window, a notification rang on my phone. I put the cup down to see what notification was and it was Lola back. She sent me another "Hi" and I obviously replied. We started talking about a little bit of everything all morning and since Lola sent me the message I left my cup of tea halfway and it got cold when I left it there and started talking to my favorite artist.

But at 1 pm Lola tells me that she has to leave the chat because she has to do another rehearsal and we say bye to each other with the same heart emojis. She says goodbye with the brown heart and me with the yellow one. A while later I start making new necklace designs for the jewelry store where I work in my room and all of a sudden my dad knocks the door to invite me to go fishing. "Sorry for interrupting you, but would you like to go fishing today? I have to take Daphne to the place where she is going to hang-out with her friends and then go fishing. Do you want to come?" I think about it a little grimacing stares waiting "Oh come on, I want to do it with mom and Kyle but she's going to hang-out with her friends today too and your brother is tired. I wouldn't want to go alone" says my dad in a soft and good-natured tone smiling. I say yes in the end and accompany my sister and my father.

When we drop off Daphne with her friends, me and my dad go to the stream where he always fishes. As we start fishing I ask him why he asked Lola to sing on his birthday and he tells me because she seemed a nice person to him when he met her at the golf game and he liked her music just like me. Then he asks me what's up with my job and if I'm seeing my friends. I tell him that everything is fine at work and that I haven't hung out with them in a month and then my dad asks me if I'm meeting a new person because lately he's been watching me laugh while I was typing on my phone. "No-no dad, I'm not meeting with anyone" (i'm talking with Lola in reality). When I respond to him like that, he looks at me suspiciously, like something doesn't sit right with him. "Oh, alright... are you sur- nono, I didn't say anything, nevermind. Anyways, I think *raises the cane* we already have fish".

It was kind of obvious that he wanted me to say the truth by getting stuck talking, but I think my dad is the one who messes less with my personal life. My mom, on the other hand, is the one who bothers me the most about whether I get a boyfriend (I'd really rather die than date a man). My parents always act weird when I barely socialize with people other than my family because they know I'm shy and introverted and have a hard time making new friends. I want to be treated like a normal person who just goes about her life the way she wants and talks to people whenever she wants.