The Fence

Chapter 59: Burn

"Hey, it would have been a lot quicker to just use the staircase."

I stare even after the door closes, the guy filling in Grey's space in the elevator. My heart pounds in my chest, and I feel it all the way up in my throat, hear it in my ears, and thumping against my skull. I let out the breath I didn't think I was holding.

You don't have to trust me. How about instead of trying so hard to bring me down, you protect your sister.

"You're Ky, right? Sorry if I interrupted something earlier. Seemed important, so..." I look over in the direction of the low voice.

"It's fine."

Are you blind? I would never hurt your sister! Ever! How about you, MiKyas? You already have.

"Hey man, you all right?" the guy says to me. "You look like you've seen a ghost."

"Nope, but close," I murmur.

You did that because of your own selfish need to find answers! You're deluding yourself if you think you did this all for Kirbena!

The guy nods, letting out a nervous laugh. "Need the infirmary floor? You should really get some medicine or something."

"I'm fine."

That's what you do for someone you care about.

"So who was the guy anyway? Your mentor?"

"Mhm," I mumble, leaning against the elevator wall. The elevator comes to stop at his floor, and he gives me a small smile.

"Okay, well feel better."

"Thanks."

Look, I need you to discard how you feel about me. At least when it comes to her. What you're doing is shielding her, not protecting her. Shields break after a while, and I think yours already has. You need to let her make her own decisions.

"Who do you think you are?" I mutter once the doors close again. I clench my fists into tight balls, grinding my teeth. "Some saint? I'm her brother. I know her better than you ever will, if I have anything to do with it."

Whatever you think of me, whoever you think I am, I don't care. You don't have to trust me, but trust that I will never harm your sister.

"Except..." I mutter. "She hates me. She wants me gone; out of her life. Why should she listen to me?"

Because despite everything you've done, Kirbena still loves you.

"She does love me." I look at the ceiling, putting a hand on my forehead. "Jeez Ky, what is wrong with you? Since when do you need verification? And why can't I get your damn voice out of my head?!"

"Why did I let her come to this place? Why didn't I just take a job that I'd be good at? Why didn't I become a hacker, or a scientist? Something, anything other than this!" I hit the lock button on the elevator, trapping myself in and everyone else out until I want it to open again. I slide down the wall, burying my face in my hands. "I had to come here. Once Bena wants something, she works until she gets it. Being the idiot I am, I played along. I pretended to want this job for her sake; to protect her. I only did the opposite. I made her hate me and I put her in more danger. You're right, my shield is broken."

The cry I let escape my mouth comes out muffled from my hands, but it's probably better that way anyway. I'm losing my cool before my sister does. She has more reasons to, so why's it always me? Suddenly, everything freezes. My eyes snap open. For once, my whole train of thought leaves the station. I shrug my shirt off, flipping it to the backside. There, printed on the navy blue fabric, is a white shield. I gaze at it, everything once again clouding over. "You knew..." I croak, my voice no more than a whisper. "You knew I was a shield, even back then. Even before everything happened, you knew I'd break apart. How?"