Love Story: Amber & Larry

Chapter 9: Chasing Money

This will cover the three year span of the relationship.

Larry got on proper medication and was now fixing the dosage because he would still have outbursts of anger, it wasn't often but it would become under control. He stayed with KFC/Taco Bell until March. By May of our anniversary he left for a job called AWP (Area Wide Protective). He went from being a Team Trainer to a Senior Traffic Controller also known as Flagger simply put. He was out there handling traffic for Gas and Power Companies.

This is where, yes, I was a very supportive wife. I let him chase that money. And as the money came in like we hoped for, it would become the worst. I felt it was mostly my fault for making him chase a dream he would never reach, even though I tried telling him it would be impossible. He wanted to be an assistant manager or manager of a company. His issue was that he had too high of a goal to reach even being a Flagger. I'm not doubting that Larry couldn't do it, hell, as much as he has learned from my family he could. The first year of him working AWP wasn't bad and I didn't bother asking him about going back home until the second year which kept getting shot down again and again. Not only because his job wouldn't let him but because we would travel anywhere else except to Florida where we were both raised and grew up. We had the funds too, also I didn't know how much longer my Grandpa was going to live for.

I didn't bring up my sexuality between these years but after all the stress, I believed I was pregnant. I mean, I was in my early thirties. So, yes, we got intimacy but it was forced more to please him than myself. Anyways, after months of believing I was pregnant came the truth that I wasn't and I bled heavily, all the stress from four years of not having my monthly came in a major mess. Their was never a baby and it hurt us both. His aunt from his mom's side called me a liar and said that I would break his heart if I couldn't produce a baby. I can't produce a baby, my body will not let me since I am fixed. So, we believed that I had a miscarriage due to the fact that I bled for days on end and wasn't sure when it would end. He helped me during that time and we both lost sleep along with Melanie and my mom too. I had experienced this one more time that year where I bled so much that my body was trying to repair itself.

I also came out as lesbian on his birthday that year. Let's say he hated me. He thought I would leave him for a woman and beyond who knows what ran through his mind. This would become a regret later on as you read more.  

In the second year, my mom introduced me to Google Share for Google Maps which my older brother showed her because she wanted to keep track of him and all that. So, I did it with Larry because his partners constantly would fall asleep on him except for one or two. Oh yeah, that ex I was telling you about that followed Larry to McDonald's also following Larry to AWP not long after. Let's just say I despised my ex even more for that. Most of his co-workers assumed since I was watching him on Google Maps was to catch him cheating, Larry has never ever cheated on a woman. Larry is the most faithful man to me and that is what I love about him. He will never seek out another woman. Him and Bryan, I do praise both for that mind set of staying faithful to their partners. Me and Bryan did get along from that point forward which was a good thing since I didn't even leave the family and wouldn't dare too. Anyways, as year two was coming to a close our relationship was okay, not the greatest. We didn't see each other often and Melanie definitely was missing him since she was now in third grade. Like I said, yes, we would see him but it wouldn't be long. He'd come to rest for an hour or two, sometimes three then be back to work by the next few hours to be driving barely functional and running on energy drinks, coffee, and anything to keep him from falling asleep. Did I try to get him to quit? No, because he was wanting that money and I would tell him, "You can quit at any point but you have high dreams that will never be achieved and that you wanted this type of income since you left Largo from being a single man with loads of money." Yes, that is where it stemmed from him catching that big money.

My life went as normal being a mom making sure Melanie got to school and keeping my career going. Did the bullying of the readers stop? No, and I was being bullied no matter what stories I brought out. I did also use a pen name that the readers called me out on but I released ten books under Annora Rose and had two under my real name. It was a slow go. The only thing was I felt more single and began questioning my sexuality the more it became clear that my man wasn't around anymore. I was a lesbian romance author with barely a touch of experience of being with a woman since I had a girlfriend long before I got with Larry but she was long gone and now, I was stuck in my head. Yes, I took care of everything around the house since I can't drive due to my disabilities and my dad's health became so much more important with his own disabilities. In case you are curious I was labeled as bisexual for many years and I knew I wasn't, I mean, I never hated men, just the way I was treated but as my career began taking its emotions with me and not having Larry home that is when I really started to wonder if this is meant to be my life. He was chasing his dream of that never ending money and I had nothing besides my daughter.

The more I questioned myself, the more I began wondering how long he would deal with me if I brought up that I was more into women than men and it would spiral going into the third year. That third year really hit rock bottom. Not only was COVID-19 in the talks but the fear of the what ifs of me and him. I didn't doubt my love for him one bit. I didn't doubt how much I cared. It is a matter of why was he chasing money over me? That final year, really hit me hard, I came out as lesbian, I broke his heart on the seriousness of my voice too, he thought I wasn't going to love him anymore and chase the dreams of being with a woman, though I had women I was seeing online including Courtney, yes, she and I were an item off and on through the years after I had Melanie but we were tight knit. It became clear that this job would make much more sense to him than I was. I tried to ask him again if we could go back home to see my Grandpa because something told me that I was fixing to lose him. My Grandpa's health was getting worse and it was a matter of time before he would leave this world. I got denied that completely, he literally said, "I would rather die than ever go down there. So, stop asking and leave it alone." I cried because he never raised his voice at me. I didn't dare bring up my Grandpa around him again and we didn't speak at all for about two days. Our relationship took the worst hit when he denied me of ever bringing back up of going home.