Fragmented Soul

Hren

I am angry.

I don't know why. I just know I am.

The pile of magazines from the stall in the entrance of the building is burning in the bath. I am controlling the fire, letting the papers burning strong but slow and moderately. Sadie doesn't question anything, just stands behind me, making sure I don't burn anything, I suppose. She hadn't said anything since she entered the bathroom. Just dumped few handfuls of collage paper onto the pile.

School is too much. I barely can concentrate onto teachers tutoring the curriculum during last lessons. My grades aren't dropping, if anything, they are getting better, but I feel as if the exceptions are set too high and I'll never reach them. Dudes in my class aren't mean to me or anything, but I can feel some of them don't like me. I'm just a jock and a nerd in one with an apparent problem in concentration. Girls say I'm cute, but yet again, I'm a nerdy jock, the youngest person in my class, celebrating my thirteenth birthday in late December. I'll never be good enough for any of my classmates.

I have a feeling my parents except me to be the best, and I certainly am one of the best, but somehow, it's a subjective opinion. So it is hard to see am I really that good. They want what's best for me, I believe, but their wishes for me to be good with everyone are impossible to fulfil. I'm an extrovert, but lots of people don't like when someone better than them.

Handball would bring me an escape if I weren't smaller than rest of the guys. Since I'm younger than most, I'm smaller by default, at least for a time. So, no matter how good or hard-working I am, I'll always be not good enough because of my built.

So it leaves me with all of the possibilities and little ways of achieving them.

Sadie leaves the bathroom and returns two minutes with a big stack of more magazines and newspapers. She dumps them in the bath next to the first stack, which is almost burnt by now, and divides them into two.

One tower of papers starts burning without my effort, so I assume it's Sadie's work. She sits on the edge of the bath and I sit on the toilet seat. The paper towers burn.

That weekend, I hadn't had any handball matches, but Sadie had a fencing tournament, so I went to watch with our dad. Mum had to do something family related. I was sitting on the floor and watching Sadie fence. She is good, really good, but she does lose one fight and finishes second in her group. In the pause, Poppy Walters is going around with a plastic box full of fruits and shares them with Sadie's teammates. I get up to congratulate her.

"I could've won that bout," she comments bitterly.

"Don't beat yourself about it. You stayed your fights," I pat her on the back.

Poppy approaches us with her fruit. "Sadie, you were terrific," she extents her right hand, fruit in it. "Take some. You too, Henry."

Sadie takes apple slices, and I take the orange ones. "Thanks," I manage a smile. I had been coming to every Sadie's tournament I had time to see since I was seven and a half, and Poppy was always there too, with her fruits and Cornygranola and chocolate bars.

Cole Walters, Poppy's son and Sadie's good friend, approaches too, with a banana in his hand, and pats Sadie's shoulder with his other hand. "Congrats," he smiles, and Sadie congratulates him on his perfect score today.

He hadn't lost a single bout today. He and Sadie fight in a similar way, but there are a few differences. Sadie's advantage is her small 160 centimetres height compared to Cole's 178 centimetres since I was last updated. Sadie also has the advantage of knowing how to use épée with both of her hands, but that is also her disadvantage. She practised more with right hand, so she uses it more, but from practising with her left hand, it's rustier than Cole's right hand. She rarely fights with her left hand even though it would bring her an advantage of most épéeists being right-handed. I don't know much about fencing - I practised it only for about eighteen months before switching to handball. But with that, Sadie and Sasha's commenters and watching many of their tournaments, I'm able to do as much analysis as I already did.

Cole doesn't give Sadie any advice, after all, she had lost only by one. But, as we talk, I can feel his guard falling down. And not in the sense of his emotions, but in the sense of his aura.

It's different, varying from one to another feeling. I guess that mixing is what confuses Sadie.

Cole, I enter and think in his mind. That is one and only thing I picked up from someone else Sadie haven't.

He doesn't show any reaction, but replies. What?

You are a gray?

I'm surprised you and Sadie haven't picked it up yet.

Sadie months What? I enter her mind and make a connection between hers and Cole's heads with a struggle.

Cole's like us. He's a gray.

Sadie shoots Cole a glare. What?!

Henry isn't lying. He plays with a small piece of his aura on his fingers.

Why didn't you tell me?

Why didn't you tell me?

I think we can discuss this later. I think. This is starting to look weird.

Sadie looks like she wants to say something more, but doesn't and I disconnect us with a sigh of relief. Using powers can be tiring if they aren't developed enough, and having a gray aura, some of my powers will always be at least a bit under developed.

"You are a gray? And you knew we were grays?" hisses Sadie to Cole as we walk back home. His mum is talking to our dad behind us, and his brothers, John and Damian, are walking ahead of us. Max and Emily are right behind us.

"Yes, I'm a gray and I knew about you. But I honestly thought I was wrong. There are supposed to be only ten grays in the world."

"Since when?" I ask.

"Yeah. Aren't we supposed to be like, dead?" Max asks. "No offence."

"Apparently we don't exist, but in reality, there is ten of us. Three in the same neighbourhood..." Cole trails of.

"Where did you find that information?" Emily poses a question.

"My mum has a friend, the physic teacher in Shakespeare, she's a golden. She said that."

"But Emma's a golden here," Sadie comments. "That much power in that small area is not a good idea."

Sadie has a point. If that much power erupts, the whole island of what used to be Great Britain could be a thing of the past.

"Sarah knows. She said she had to take the risk and move here. From Japan."

When Cole mentions the name, something clicks in my brain. "Sarah? She is Sasha's form teacher. And she'll be mine if I make it in the class on the rank."

There is an expression of recognition on Sadie's face. "And she singed my invitation letter. She guaranteed for me."

Cole smiles. "She must've seen something special about you, S. And I'm sure she'll see something great in you too, Hren."

"Why didn't you tell us?" Emily quizes, but nobody replies. "Cole. Sadie. Why didn't we know about your aura?"

"Why didn't you tell us?" Cole replies with a counter-question.

Emily seems puzzled. "About what?"

"Your aura. I can feel it. It feels different like others. Like... grass in the spring."

When Cole pointed it out, I notice it too. Though, I don't feel it like grass in the spring, more like dogs and bunnies.

Sadie mumbles a few words in Greek to invoke Emily's aura just enough for her to see and more important, feel it. It's purple.

"Hren," Sadie says. "Go Talk to Damian and John. We need to talk alone."

"Sadie-" I start complaining. I only partially understand why she wants me to go away - she doesn't want to endanger me by being near Emily. Her aura isn't dangerous or anything, but isn't very common and hers radiates some kind of power.

"Please. This is complicated, I don't even fully understand it and I don't want to get you into this."

I stomp of angrily towards Cole's brothers. She wants to protect me, but I can protect myself just fine.