I'll look after you *Remus lupin comfort fic

Dread

I gave lunch a miss as i still felt quite sick after eating this morning, then i had herbology which, thankfully Neville Longbottom spoke to me a bit in and for the last lesson i had Defense. 

I slowly walked to the lesson and i can hear my heart pounding in my head, trying to control my breathing as much as possible in fear that i will pass out. My hands are trembling slightly but i clench them into fists. What do i say to him if he asks me anything else? I've reached the doorway of his classroom, with a deep breathe i step in and walk over to the chair at the back of the class with my head down. 

Lupin glances my way, hesitates, then begins the class. 

I can feel the trios eyes on me because of I'm assuming what transpired in potions class. 

Today we were doing basic defense and attack spells so i needed a partner. 

Before i could raise my hand to address my  lack of a partner, i see Hermione approach me . 

"Can we be partners?" she questioned, averting my eye contact so she wasn't looking directly at me for longer then 2 seconds. "uh.. i guess so" i said confused, " i didn't think i would be your first choice in partners to be honest" i exclaimed. "Well, Harry and Ron are partnered with each other, everyone else is taken, and plus... i wanted to speak to you about something". I eyed her dubiously, "oh kay? about?" She took a deep breath and came close towards me so that only me and her could hear the conversation going on. "What was up yesterday in potions?" My breathing hitched and my eyes widened, 'FUCK' I thought to myself. "Wh- what are you talking about?" I try to laugh to hide my wavering voice, "you know exactly what I'm talking about Abby, with snape.. and your robe?" She said this statement a bit louder then intended causing some curious stares from a couple of people including a quick look from Remus while he was helping another pair. "Keep you voice down, Jesus" I exclaim. "you cost us point deductions so what was it about?" she said still at the same volume as before. I look around me and see people staring and my hear rate starts to quicken. "uh, listen, i need to use the bathroom so I'll be right back" "wait!" Hermione exclaims but I've already walked of, telling lupin in passing that i was using the bathroom.  

I rush out the door and I'm hyperventilating now. 'Where does she find the audacity to ask about MY business, like it has nothing to do with her.' I run into the bathroom and into my designated cubicle and pull out my piece of glass. I roll up the sleeve of the already scarred arm and create two more cuts. 'she's right' i think to myself, 'I've caused the whole house to loose points just because I'm fucked up, this is why i deserve this' i look down at my arm and tears start forming in my eyes, 'i deserve this'. 

On that thought i push the glass against my arm as hard as i can and drag it across. The gash i created starts pouring with blood. I grab a clump of tissue paper and press it against the open wound, trying to clean the blood up as much as possible. While my hand is on my arm, my watch catches my eye 'shit! I've been here for almost 15 minutes, i really need to get back to class before i cause any more suspicion.'  I clean up the blood from the floor and as much as i can from my arm with just a tissue, slap a plaster on and rush out the bathroom. I can feel a slightly damp bit of my robe from where it got my blood on it but because the robe is black, the color blends in. 'thank god' i thought. I rush back into the classroom and back to the area where Hermione was. 

"where did you disappear to" she exclaimed in an angry tone, "we're supposed to be partners you cant just disappear" "sorry" i said quietly, "lets just get on with the task we're supposed to be doing" i say. She just looks at me in disbelief and we start practicing the different charms. 

Remus POV (i don't know how i feel about doing it from this pov so i might only do this once or twice when its needed for the story but let me know what you guys think!!)