We spend a few days resting and enjoying each other's company and I show my mother all the things I have been making and getting for the baby's arrival. She also starts giving me some advice and telling stories of how she had given birth to me and my siblings. I feel so reassured to have her so close to me. I guess we never really stop wanting to have reassurance from our family.
"When did you feel like you had become a mother? I am pregnant and yet I feel so far away from being a Mother" I ask my mom.
"I can't say that I ever noticed that type of feeling. When you are given the baby the first time in your arms you just think how have I lived this long without them. They just make you feel like a mother and you never stop worrying about your children." She explains.
"When were you the most worried?" I ask.
"Probably when you left to be married. I didn't want to let you go that far away, but your Father always reassured me that your Father-in-law was a good man and his son would be as well" She says.
"Yes, Father was right, Father-in-law was a good man and so is his son. You really didn't need to be so worried" I say.
"Yes, your husband really seems like a wonderful and thoughtful man. I finally feel reassured that you are well taken care of when I get to see you like this" She smiles and pats my arm.
We spent a few more days together and even Zi-An with Zi-Ming and Zi-Wei came for a visit since Changwei felt more reassured to have Zi-An around for the birth. After a few days I start to feel the labor pains and my mom calls Changwei to go and get the midwife as the pains seem to be coming closer together.
"Danni, I will be right back" He says and kisses the top of my head and my Mom shoos him away quickly.
"Mom it hurts so bad" I say and try to grit through another pain.
"Yes, you will do just fine" She says and grips my hand and starts rubbing my back. After a while the Midwife comes and checks me over.
"You are actually close to giving birth, this is going surprisingly fast for your first one" The Midwife says. We spend the rest of the night together as I work on giving birth and I try to breathe through the pain.
After what feels like a really long night the midwife declares that she could see a head and I push as hard as I can and she pulls out the baby. I feel so exhausted and relieved at the same time and I feel myself relax when I hear the first baby cry. The midwife cuts the cord and my mom takes the baby to go and clean up with some water and a cloth.
"Can I come in?" Changwei asks outside the door.
"Your wife isn't quite ready yet to be seen, but once I get the baby cleaned up I can bring the baby to you" The midwife says.
"It's fine let him in" I say and Changwei comes in and goes straight over and pulls me into a hug.
"You are so brave and courageous Danni, you did such a good job" He says and holds me close and I start to cry with his encouragement.
"It was so hard" I say wailing and he starts patting my head.
"You are more than I deserve, I wish I could have endured the pain instead of you" He says and keeps holding me and my tears subside.
"Can I see the baby now?" I say and everyone laughs and my mom comes and brings over the baby.
"You have a bright eyed baby boy" She says and hands me the baby and we both stare at the beautiful child that we made together.
"Wow, he looks like his mom," Changwei says, touching his little hands.
"I was just going to say he looks like his Dad" I say and laugh.
"What are we going to name him?" He says.
"I was thinking about An-Ming, it means peaceful brightness. I hope he will get to live in peace with a bright future" I say staring into his beautiful eyes.
"I like that, it is perfect," Changwei says.
"I secretly wanted this baby to be a boy" I say smiling and looking up at Changwei.
"Really? I was happy with whatever the baby was going to be, "he says.
"When I was growing up I always longed for an older brother. I always wished I had an older brother that would look out for me and protect me from the neighborhood bullies plus help me when mother and father would get mad at us" I explain.
"So you want to have more children after all this?" He says looking serious.
"Well I want An-Ming to have siblings, wouldn't it be lonely without another sibling?" I say.
"I don't think I can handle you going through that again, do you know how hard it was for me to listen to you in pain like that" He says and pulls me back into a hug.
"It probably sounded worse than it was" I say trying to comfort him and I laugh.
"We will think about this in the future, for now you need to rest" He says.
After a few days of rest I finally convinced my mother to let me go for a walk and I gently walked around the garden and enjoyed all the smells and sights of the beautiful flowers and blossoms.
"What are you doing out of bed?" I hear and I let out a giggle.
"I barely convinced my Mother to let me out and now you are giving me a hard time too!" I say putting my hands on my hips.
"I just don't want you to get sick" Changwei says coming over to me.
"I can't believe I am a mother now" I say and he comes over and gently puts his arms around me.
"You are the most beautiful mother I have ever seen" He says and starts gently kissing my neck and I turn my head to him and he starts kissing my mouth and I starts moving my mouth in rhythm with his mouth.
" I sometimes think I don't deserve all this love and then I think about the love you have given me and I try to believe I am needed and loved" I say.
"I also get worried that you will one day want to leave me, but I know the love we have shared is strong and beautiful and I want to be the man you deserve so I have to be strong in our love" Changwei says and pulls me close.
"Do you ever worry about what's around the corner?" I say.
"Of course especially now that we have An-Ming, but I know if we are together we can overcome any obstacles we come across. I will never forget how you rescued me from that Princess, it gives me so much strength to stay strong and never let fear overtake me" He says.
"So I guess I am your hero" I say smiling up at him and he just chuckles at me.
"You, I know you also think I am your hero! Remember when I rescued you from Prince Sun Ying?" He says.
"Well I would have rescued myself eventually" I say starting to walk away.
"Wait a second, I don't think you realize how serious the situation was, I think we should have Zi-An weigh in on this" He says coming after me and I just wave him off and keep walking.
I hope the rest of our days are only filled with beautiful memories and happy times, where we can reminisce and think of the past hardships as just the past and not something that has to stay buried in our hearts.
-------------------------------------The End-----------------------------------
If you have made it to the end of my book I thank you for taking the time to read my words! It took me a long time to write this book as I was struggling really hard with health and anxiety issues the last two years and didn't know if I would even have it in me to keep writing. I feel so empty some days that I guess I have tried to keep filling this bottomless hole in my heart with the words in this book. So I dedicate this book to everyone that feels abandoned and forgotten and hope one day you will be filled with all the love that you deserve!
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The Abandoned Bride
Historical FictionDanni, a newlywed, finds herself abandoned on her wedding day as her husband leaves to join the war. Left alone in a house that's no longer a home, she endures the relentless abuse of a cruel mother-in-law. Yearning for freedom, Danni contemplates j...
