Dear Citlali (ONC2024)

Chapter 26. Dovi

Since we still hadn't found any pieces of information about Ameyal's recent whereabouts, we were still exploring her archives. I didn't know why but I wandered in Ameyal's bedroom absent-mindedly.

The brightness of the sun dimmed the green of the back wall but it made the golden artifacts hanging from it shimmer. The closet was half open, and I looked at her clothes, brushing my hand over the fabrics. She had always liked bright colors. She rarely wore black, let alone grey.

"Do you think..." Kai started. I hadn't heard her enter, as deep in my thoughts as I was. She tried again. "Do you think we should tidy the house and maybe decide what we'll do with all her belongings?"

I turned my head and looked at her.

"I'm sorry. I don't want to sound insensitive."

"No, no." I went to hug her. "It's not that. I think I'm ready to do it. At least to start. Are you?"

"To be honest, I think it would help me."

I stroked her hair. "Let's talk with Lali then and see what she thinks."

Kai pulled away from me and sat on the bed. "You haven't told us how you met her."

I gave a look back at Ameyal's clothes, closed my eyes for a second, and sat beside Kai. "It was in Togo in 1899. It's actually very strange because it was the first time I was back in this area since I had left quite early in my life. And it was a very emotional context for me. Pretty overwhelming. I met her and she had this entrancing energy but she also listened to me. And I needed that. Retrospectively, I think it established a precedent." I chuckled sadly.

"She was not exactly the talking-your-heart-out type," Kai said.

I smiled. "She was not. But we became friends."

"Did you know other immortals before her?"

"No. Not like that. It put things into perspective for me, for sure."

Kai nodded.

"She was so full of paradox," I continued. "She kept some sides of her so deeply closeted. Her sadness was unreachable."

"I guess I didn't fully realize how sad she was. I was so fascinated by her strength. And I could feel that there were cracks in the shell but I didn't linger on them. I thought I would probably not understand. Now I've read some of her diaries, I..."

I rested my head on her shoulder, and we breathed together.

"But at the same time," I continued, "she could be so full of joy, so open in lots of other ways." I chuckled again as many memories came back to my mind. "I remember once she dragged me to an amusement park. It was in Europe in the 1920s. There was this rollercoaster she had heard about and she was obsessed by it. So we went. And she was terrified. She clutched my arm like a lifeline and she screamed her lungs out."

Kai widened her eyes and laughed. "I cannot imagine that scene."

"Well, imagine it, because it happened. I think that day we tried every single ride in the park. I remember the bumper cars. We ate an impossible amount of food. She was fun."

"I'm glad you have all these beautiful memories of her and that you can share them with me."

I turned my head towards Kai, and she kissed me. Lali appeared on the threshold and leaned on the doorframe, while she watched us with such love in her eyes. A smile lightened her face, and we smiled back.