Found and Forgotten

Chapter 6

Zeta POV

Weeks passed and not much has changed. I stayed in my room unless I needed food or water. The numbness is still ever present as is the depression. Grief comes in waves. One minute I am numb and the next I'm back in tears, listening to me and Akira's favorite song or watching one of our family shows. This sucks. Majorly.

None of my brothers have even checked on me other than the twins offering food here or there or Massimo informing me when he will be gone, which is a lot. It makes the sadness worse. I'm so lonely in house full of people. 

The nightmares are getting progressively worse. I am getting an average of two hours at night. Sometimes I am blessed with naps during the day, though. Sleep anxiety is always worse at night. The boredom doesn't help. Being back in this house has triggered a lot of nightmares about being left in the orphanage. My current grief is comparable to then. Sure, no one died then, but they were all gone in a different sense. I see visions of me crying on the bed for weeks. My father never did show much love to me, not like he did the boys. But, being told that they all thought I was a burden was heartbreaking. I have never felt worth anything from that day on until I was adopted. Of course, as soon as I was getting better the wreck happened. 

At least physically I am all healed from that. Massimo had a doctor come to the house to remove my cast. My head still hurts, but that is probably from the lack of sleep and the crying. 

Between the nightmares and the constant thinking, I'm beginning to question just why I was put at the orphanage. Did my brothers agree with it or did my father just say that? As my memories of this house return, I realize that I don't remember my brothers ever being mean to me. I don't remember everything, but I do remember being around them all of the time. Well except Gianni, he was closest with our dad. And since I know we were close then, why do they act like I'm a burden now? What changed? I think I'm going to confront Massimo. I have had entirely too much trauma in my life because of this and I'm done being kept in the dark. I make my way to Massimo's office and knock. He seems surprised to see me.

"Zeta," he says. "Is everything okay?"

"Why did you take me in? Pity? Reputation? What was it?"

Massimo POV

I'm stunned. She thinks we didn't want her?

"Zeta I've been looking for you for years. I'm so glad you're back." I tell her the truth.

"Then why hasn't anyone spoken to me much since I've been back?" She asks

"I am very busy with work Zeta, as is Enzo. I can't speak for Xander and Gianni, they have their own issues. The twins have been giving you space to grieve. We didn't want to make you uncomfortable." I tell her.

"If you were searching for me, why was I taken away in the first place? Why didn't you guys want me?"

"We wanted you Zeta. We were all heartbroken when our father told us you had to leave."

"Had to leave what do you mean?"

"You weren't safe here." I decide to feed her the same lie that our brothers believe. I don't want her hurting thinking she isn't wanted.

"Why?"

Do I tell her about the Mafia. I don't want her afraid of us. I decide on a half-truth: "We had a crazy business rival. He was threating to hurt you. I started looking for you "

"Cut the crap. This house is riddled with guards. You're loaded. And I've noticed you always have a gun. Tell me the truth." Okay. She got me there. The truth it is.

"We are the leaders of the Italian Mafia."  Silence fills the room. Zeta seems lost in thought. "This doesn't mean anything for you Zeta. I will keep you safe and you don't need to be involved." I reassured her.

After another moment of silence she speaks, "Ok... I have one last question. Why did father tell me that none of you wanted me? He told me I was a burden to you all. And now that I've been back nothing has told me otherwise."

That stumped me. He told her that. What a cruel man. I decide to just go with what I felt was a somewhat logical response: "I don't know why he said that Zeta. We all love you. We just aren't the best at showing it. Maybe he thought if you hated us you wouldn't look for us."

Zeta hums in response. "I'm going to my room. I need to process all of this. Thank you." She leaves me to my thoughts. I like honesty, but comforting her seemed like the better option at this moment. One day I will have to tell her the truth. I just hope it comes from me.

Third Person POV

Zeta left the room and passed the twins on the way to her room. What Zeta and Massimo didn't know was that the twins heard most of their conversation. Both twins felt guilty that their sister was feeling like a burden. They had been open to a relationship from the start, but they thought giving her space was better. Now that they realized their mistake, they decided they're going to make an effort with Zeta.

Back in her room, Zeta ponders all of this information. A weight has lifted that Massimo actually wanted her home. She still wishes her brothers would make more of an effort with her. She decides to sit out on the balcony. While Zeta wants to be closer to her brothers, she still has fears from her past. Her homes before she was adopted where horrible, and she's not ready to share that part of her life with her brothers yet. She will give them a chance if they start trying, but she doesn't want to become a burden by forcing herself on them. She enjoys the views of the balcony, enjoying a few moments where her mind is blank for once. She starts to nod off on the balcony, as the fresh air encourages her to sleep. The exhaustion must really be getting to her.

An hour later she jolts awake. Another memory causing her heart to race. This time she vividly remembered the crash that took her loved ones. She returned to her room and began sobbing, another wave of grief hitting hard.

Gianni POV

I am walking down the hallway when I pass Zeta's room. I hear quiet shove. At first I think to ask her if she's okay, but post of me so thinks she deserves this for taking away my mother. I know it's not her fault. She was a baby who didn't choose to be born. But I can't fully shake the resentments I had for when it happened. In a way, I feel like her grief is deserved for my grief back then. I shouldn't think this way, but I do. I keep walking, assuming she would be fine. Father did always complain about her being dramatic. I wish he didn't have to leave. He and I were close after mom left this world. But, life isn't fair. With a deep sigh, I enter my room and go to bed. I fall asleep thinking I'm doing the right thing by avoiding Zeta.