Questioning/Searching

Family

Authors note: I don't have much to add for this authors note except to tell you to feel free to comment your feedback if you have any. Happy reading!

I first told my mother I was queer. Then my dad. For a while, they were the only ones who knew. We did tell my dad's family, but not before telling my mom's family. My mom had told me they were homophobic, but I hoped they would accept me. I was so nervous. I wanted to come out on my own, bu I was scared. My grandma would be coming over, and I wanted to try and come out to her then, when it was just me, her, and mom in the room. But, I also wanted more time to prepare. And, what if she didn't approve? What if she would say something bad. I didn't think I'd be able to bear having to listen to her explain why she was disgusted by me. I asked my mom if she would break the news to he because I was too scared to do so.  She agreed, and have never been more grateful. 

When my grandma came over, it seemed like any normal gathering. We ate some brunch, I think we also did a crafting project(at least I think we did? This was when I was still bi). They had me go into my room to change into some clothes that my grandma wanted to sew to make them fit me better. There was nothing else to the afternoon. 

After we said goodbye, and she left, I turned to my mom. 

" Did you tell her mom?" I asked, afraid of the answer.

Mom sighed. "Yes Emma. I told her." 

Uh oh. This didn't seem good.

"Well, what did she say?" I was clinging to a last shred of hope. My mother looked me in the eyes. This would change everything.

" She said she doesn't want to believe you are queer." My heart sank into the pit of my stomach.

" She said that she thinks you are too young to know." I had gotten my hopes up too high once more. This was what I expected, but it was still hard to hear.

She didn't support me.