soukoku oneshots

Your not alone

A/N- set when dazai was in port mafia, just something short

TW: suicide attempt (who am I kidding it's dazai)

Dazai's vision is blurred, the moonlight from above the surface barely reaching his single uncovered eye as he lets himself float in the water.

Ah, such a great place to be.

The light comes in in ripples, distorted by the clear lake water. Dappled light creates patterns on his suit, contrasting heavily against the dark material. Strangely, this is one of the few moments when Dazai feels the most peaceful.

His bandages slowly unravel due to the water, flowing around freely as if in a dance of its own. Dazai takes his attention away from the light momentarily, as he watches the bandages unfurl like broken wings.

Broken.

That's what he is, and what he would always be.

He doesn't notice a certain redhead swimming towards him. He doesn't see the frantic look in his partner's eyes when he finally spots Dazai, at the same time fuming with anger as he finally reaches the brunette.

Dazai only notices a familiar petite shadow covering the moonlight streaming in, before recognising the curly hair like flames licking the water.

His uncovered eye slowly widens as Chuuya tugs on his arm, grimacing as he tries to pull him up towards the surface. Perhaps his legs had been too weak, perhaps he had been shocked by the fact that anyone cared enough to try and save him, but Dazai can't bring himself to move.

Chuuya tries to yell something to Dazai, but all he sees are air bubbles. As soon as the redhead realises this, he shuts his mouth, and focuses on tugging Dazai up. Gradually, Dazai feels himself getting dragged upwards, the moonlight becoming less and less distorted as he becomes closer to the water surface.

And when the cold night air rushes into his lungs, only then did Dazai realise how badly they needed oxygen.

Beside him, Chuuya's hair is soaked, strands hanging limply by his sides. Chuuya himself, however, seems to be more bothered by the fact that Dazai just tried to commit suicide by drowning. Well, Dazai supposes that would be the case. He crawls on to the damp grass, on all fours as he pants to replace all the oxygen he had lost. Surprisingly, he hasn't fainted yet.

Then, Dazai lies on his back, looking up at the night sky littered with stars here and there. The cold sticks to his wet skin, and a shiver runs down his spine as he finally registers that he isn't dead, that Chuuya had just saved him.

Wait a minute.

Chuuya?!

Dazai sits up abruptly, head turning in every direction to find the familiar blob of red hair, but said redhead is nowhere to be spotted. When this finally sinks in, Dazai really starts panicking.

"Chuuya?" He calls out, but there is no response. Not even a single sound could be heard, in fact.

"Chuuya? Where are you?"

Dazai stands up, running around and trying to spot the redhead. Maybe he had drifted downstream and came up at a different location...?

But within a ten-metre radius, there was no other human to be found. Even if Chuuya had drifted downstream, he wouldn't have been too far away...

So where is he?

From his left, Dazai hears a faint gurgling sound. He turns at breakneck speed, and sure enough, tiny bubbles are forming at the surface of the river. Without even hesitating, Dazai takes three huge steps forward, then leaping into the river that he just tried to drown in again.

Dazai's heart beats quickly with anxiety, praying that the smaller redhead would be strong enough to have survived the five minutes that Dazai had neglected him. As his eyes slowly get used to the darker water, he notices a bright mob of red hair, now flowing freely in the water. Swiftly, Dazai swims towards the petite Mafia, and only when his fingers touched Chuuya's skin did he finally relax. And now, Dazai's calm, logical mind takes over as he assesses the situation.

It seems that Chuuya's leg had gotten stuck to something in the water, although with the water he can't really tell what it was. What he does know, however, is that Chuuya is still struggling against it, so at least he's still alive.

Dazai swims to behind Chuuya, and using both arms, pull Chuuya up towards the surface by his underarms. His feet kick as hard as they could, and coupled with Chuuya's strength, the surface becomes closer and closer to them. Once they are above water, Dazai quickly brings Chuuya up to the shore, placing the redhead on the ground as gentle as he can muster at this point of time.

And then it strikes him.

Chuuya lies there, at first motionless, then spitting out the water and panting for air. It lasts for a few minutes, before the redhead finally wipes his mouth with a gloved hand and sits up.

"What were you thinking, you bandaged fuck?!" Chuuya yells, spit flying into Dazai's face.

"Trying to commit suicide." Dazai shrugs, pouting. Chuuya raises a fist, threatening to beat the shit out of the brunette.

"If you wanted to kill me, you could have just left me to die in the river~"

At this, Chuuya lowers his fist, sighing to himself. "Ungrateful bastard."

Under the moonlight, Chuuya's skin seems to glow on its own, like an angel blessed by the moon goddess herself. And when Dazai's gaze moved to the redhead's eyes, he sees them...sparkling?

"Chuuya." Dazai whispers. "Are you crying?"

"Who the fuck would cry for you, asshole!" Chuuya turns away, avoiding his gaze. He then moves to wipe his eyes with his sleeve. "I'm not crying!"

Dazai closes his uncovered eye, a slight smile dancing on his lips.

"...I thought I was going to lose you."

Dazai looks up again, greeted by the sight of the petite Mafia biting his bottom lip in hesitation.

"I was looking for you because I needed some information for tomorrow's mission, then when Kouyou-nee-san told me you went out, I thought you might be here..."

Here, Chuuya chokes softly. A trail of clear liquid on his cheeks shines in the moonlight as he speaks.

"I didn't think..."

The pained expression on his face actually does pain Dazai a little. Just a tiny bit.

"I didn't think you came out to commit suicide. I got so scared when I saw you jump in the river from the bridge nearby, you know."

Dazai could hear the soft pitter-patter on the grass blades as Chuuya speaks, tears falling uncontrollably. His hair shields the view, but at least Dazai has enough emotional understanding to realise that Chuuya doesn't want to be seen as weak in front of someone like Dazai.

"...I'm sorry."

The first genuine words he had spoken since this ordeal, and Chuuya seems to understand that. He doesn't have any obvious reactions, but at least he stops crying.

Secretly, however, he is touched. Touched by the fact that there is someone who cares enough about him to try and save him from drowning in his own darkness. To try and tell him that no, he isn't alone in this dark world, that he doesn't have to walk this dreadful journey alone.

"Thank you, Chuuya."

Dazai stands up, walks away, and doesn't look back.

Words:1238