soukoku oneshots

Attempted

TW: Suicide

Darkness had only just begun to claim the sky, the stars adorning the black velvet with sparkling gems. The light that came from the simple lamps along the pathway and scattered lights in the garden was dim, the atmosphere almost eerie, a sign of things to come. A cool breeze blew, leaves swaying in the breeze.

The estate grounds around him were silent as he walked, soft footsteps loud in the peaceful quiet. Hands in his pockets, Chuuya was smiling slightly as he made his way towards the small house. He’d had a long day of dealing with incompetent underlings, and he felt ready to collapse into his husband’s arms and pass out, never to move again.

He lifted his head to the sky, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath. The faint smell of flowers hung in the air, the slight wind spreading the pleasant smell. Without his footsteps echoing into the night, the only noises around were the fluttering of leaves in the breeze and the distant sound of city life.

A sharp sound suddenly cut through the peaceful silence. Opening his eyes and looking down, he fished his phone out of his pocket. Chuuya narrowed his eyes when he saw the call was from Kunikida, his husband’s coworker, before he answered. “The fuck you calling me for?”

“Hello, Nakahara-san.” The blond’s voice was loud in the quiet night.

“Fuck’s sake, just call me Chuuya like everyone else.” The redhead sighed, exasperated.

“Chuuya-san then. Where are you right now?”

“Outside my house, why?” Chuuya huffed but gave up on getting the blond to drop the honorific.

“You… might want to sit down.” Kunikida’s voice had a slight tremble to it. The redhead raised an eyebrow at that but took a seat on a nearby bench nonetheless.

“Ok, now tell me why you called me of all fucking people.”

“It’s about Dazai.”

“Let me guess, the bastard tried to kill himself again. What did he do this time? Throw himself into some fucking river and make you guys fish him out?” Chuuya ran a hand through his hair, raising an eyebrow even if the other couldn’t see it.

“Not exactly.”

“The fuck does that mean?” Chuuya was starting to get worried, the other man was dragging this out unnecessarily and seemed reluctant to say anything. Usually, he would just tell him what happened and that was it. So why was he so worked up this time?

“You’re right, he did try to kill himself. It was different this time though. This time…” the man took a deep breath, and Chuuya felt dread settle in his stomach.

“Is he ok?”

“He’s fine. Although, he almost wasn’t.” Kunikida paused, and Chuuya thought he could hear a quiet sniffle. His heart rate spiked.

“What does that mean.” The redhead spoke slowly, every word filled with deep emotion.

“The only reason he’s ok is because of Ranpo. He came running into the office during a break, so we knew something was seriously wrong. He started yelling for Atsushi and I to follow him. Obviously, we asked why, but he was close to hysterics so we didn’t get an answer so we followed him. He led us to Landmark Tower, telling us to go to the roof. Atsushi and I ran up, but the door to the roof was locked, and Atsushi had to break it down. On the other side, we saw Dazai. He looked at us and smiled, and he said ‘say goodbye to Chuuya ok? Tell him I love him.’ and stepped closer to the edge.” The blond’s voice broke, and he took a shuddering breath before continuing. “Atsushi tackled him and I got them away from the edge and to the ground safely and he’s fine now, but I thought you needed to know.”

“That lying bitch.” Chuuya hissed, his grip on the phone tightening until he could hear the metal start to creak. “Thank you for telling me. I’ll make sure to talk to him about it.” Before Kunikida could reply, Chuuya hung up. His excitement from earlier was gone, replaced by intense anger and the sharp sting of hurt. He stood, glaring at nothing as he swiftly made his way to the front door, shoving his key into the lock and turning it with more force than necessary.

He pushed the door open, slamming it behind him. He could hear Dazai humming happily in the kitchen, and the sound only made him feel worse. Grumbling, he walked into the room. Dazai turned to grin at him, throwing his arms open wide. “Chuuya! Welcome home. How are you?” The redhead just glared, stalking past the brunet. Dazai frowned, grabbing the shorter male’s wrist as he passed and pulling him to face him. “What’s wrong?”

“What’s wrong?” Chuuya hissed, narrowing his eyes and yanking his arm away. “Why don’t you take a fucking guess.”

“I really don’t know. Chuuya-"

“Shut the fuck up. What’s wrong is that I got a call from Kunikida saying he and Atsushi found you about to throw yourself off of Landmark Tower. I know you’re a suicidal manic but shit, this is too far. Why do you do that? You could have fucking died Dazai.”

The brunet winced at the use of his last name. “I’m sorry but-”

“No, there are no excuses. I thought you were fucking smarter than this, I thought you cared how I felt, I thought maybe I was enough to get you to at least try to keep living. I thought you were fucking getting better. You told me you were getting better, you lying bitch. But here you are, going and trying to off yourself without a second thought to what the fuck it would do to me if you succeeded.”

“But I haven’t-” Dazai reached out to cradle the redhead’s face but Chuuya slapped his hand away, leveling him with a glare.

“That’s not the point here! Son of a bitch. What if you do? What if by some stroke of luck you actually succeed. What the fuck am I supposed to do then?” Chuuya reached up to wipe away the tears that had started streaming down his face. He took a deep breath. “ I know it’s hard, I know it’s a habit you’re trying to break. But please, if it really gets that bad just tell me. Call me, I don’t care when you do, I’ll answer.”

“Chuuya…”

“Goddamnit Osamu, I don’t care what else you do. I don’t care where else you go. Just don’t go somewhere I can’t follow.” The redhead let out a shuddering breath, intertwining his fingers with the brunets. Blinking slowly, brown eyes met watery blue. “Please. Promise me.”

“I promise.” Dazai wrapped the smaller man in his arms, pulling him close. Chuuya buried his face in the taller man’s shirt, clutching him tightly. Dazai kissed the top of his head. “I’m sorry.”

The redhead sniffled, glaring up at him. “You’re not forgiven yet you dumb fuck.” Dazai laughed.

“Fair enough. How can I make it up to you?” The brunet tilted his head, running a hand through the shorter man’s hair. Chuuya didn’t answer, instead, he simply held him tighter.

Words:1205