Imagining Us

Chapter 29- This feels different

"Why am I like this? Why is this bothering me so much?" She asked herself more than she was asking her friend.

"It's because you care," Alicia inserted.

"I care about a lot of people, people that I've known for much longer than him," she exclaimed. "And I don't feel like I'm drowning when we have misunderstandings."

"Maybe...maybe you care for him in a different way."

Maybe you care for him in a different way.

The words caused her to think—to really think. She ran them through her mind. Really thought long and hard about them.

Her mind was being pulled in two different directions—one of them she didn't like.

Esi didn't know how to respond to Alicia.

"Okay... Imma let you ponder on that," her friend said. "Maybe you can ask his brother since you said that you know him."
She did think about asking Luka, but due to the tension that she had sensed before, that was not a path that she thought she should go down.

"But Esi...anyone who acts like this with you, isn't worth your time," Alicia said. "Unless it's not a valid reason,  no one should disrespect you like this."

"I know..." she acquiesced. Alicia was right, as usual, in terms of her being treated this way. Esi was still on the fence about her caring for him in a different way.

A subject change was necessary.

"How are things with Lo?" She asked.

"Really, Esi?" Alicia asked at her subject change. "I'll give you a pass this time but you'd better keep me updated..." Her friend paused to hear her acknowledgement.

"Okay."

"I'm serious, Elizabeth," Alicia insisted.

"I know," Esi replied. "Now tell me about Lo...I have five minutes before class."

"It is better," Alicia responded hesitantly. "It's better with Jamie too...still a little awkward but not bad."

"That's good to hear."

Alicia sighed. "But how could I have been so blind, Esi? How could I have been so caught up in myself that I couldn't see what my best friend was going through?"

"You can't blame yourself. Sometimes we can only see what people want us to see..even when we're close to them," Esi started. "Also, it's a little more complicated when feelings are involved."

"You know I almost broke up with Jamie after you left?"

"What?" Esi exclaimed.

"I can't lose her, Esi. And if I have to sacrifice my love for her, I'd do it in a heartbeat," Alicia proclaimed.

"But you didn't break up with him, right?" She asked her friend.

"Lauren saw it coming...she knew what I was going to do and she stopped me."

Esi looked at her watch.

One minute until her class started.

"She knows me so well and I didn't know to help her," Alicia lamented.

It would do know good for her to tell Alicia not to blame herself. Esi knew that it was hard to control guilt, and she also knew that if Alicia did something like sacrificing her relationship that it would benefit neither her nor Lauren.

"Lo is strong...she will find her way through. Especially with us supporting her," Esi said. "And there is going to come a time when she may want to spread her wings, and we have to let her be her.  We'll have to let her go."

"I hear you," Alicia said softly and reluctantly.

"We can't feel guilty for changes—for the growth that happens in our lives. Look at how far you've come. Look at how you glow," Esi insisted. "Now it's Lauren's turn to be polished with these changes, with our support, until she shines."

"You're right," Alicia acquiesced. "And you're good with the misdirect. I don't know how this conversation became about me, but thank you, Esi."

"You're welcome," Esi replied. "I love you but my class is about to start. We'll talk soon."

"Later, girl. Tell me what happens with your man!"

Porte was most definitely not her man. She wasn't even completely sure that they were still friends.

Esi ended the call and went into her classroom, grateful for the reprieve of talking to her friend. Her mind felt a tad bit clearer like she could focus all of her attention on the lecture.

A/N

We've passed 2,00o reads!!!!

Thank you so much for checking out my story.

Things get a little interesting in the next few chapters. I definitely think a confrontation is necessary!