सौंदर्य विध्वंस का : The Beauty of Destruction

Chapter 6 : New Emotions?

Abhaya

I couldn't stop thinking about her after our last encounter. This was the first time someone dominated my mind completely. I couldn't sleep, eat, could do literally nothing. The way she smiles, that tiny little dimple that forms on her left cheek and her voice that makes me feel like I am listening to a melodious rhythm on repeat. Why can't I get her out of my brain? Why?

She's just so beautiful. Her eyes so deep, her beautiful long hair, that hugs her bare waist, her cute little dimple, her elegance, and that shade of pink that covers her cheeks when she's shy. Everything about her is driving me nuts. I've seen her a million times before. But I've never felt this spark before.

We've practically grown together. Even though we were not so close before, but how come it's now that I notice her, her beauty, her soul, her eyes? My heart flutter everytime I see her. I've never ever had this feeling before. My heart starts beating so fast when I am near her, sometimes I feel to pull it out of my chest and tell it to shut up.

When she was dancing in the stage yesterday, I couldn't take my eyes off her. Her steps, grace, expressions, everything killed me bit by bit. All this time Kamakshi was always with Aparajita, even in Gurukul (ancient school). But I never noticed her so carefully. How dumb and unfortunate of me. Is this feeling what people call love? If this is love, I am falling deeply, very deeply in love.

I want to see her now, every moment. I want her just in front of my eyes, all the time. After much consideration, I decide to go to Aparajita's chamber. I just want to check on her health, nothing else. Yes, just check on Aparajita and come back. Will Kamakshi feel I am being doubtful? No, I am just going to check on Aparajita, that's it.

I quickly brush up my hair, put on my uttariya (upper body cloth) and leave for Aparajita's chamber. On my way, many thoughts cross my mind. I almost change my mind for 10 times before reaching her chamber. But finally I am in front of his chamber.

"This is your last chance, turn back." I say to myself, unconsciously, knocking the door.

Not turning back now. It's late. I must embrace this situation now. Wait! Why in the Swarg (heaven) am I being so dramatic? I snap out of my thoughts as I see the door opening. My breath gets held up. It's Kamakshi on the door. My lips get stitched. Speak something. Something. Something.

"Uhhh... Umm... Aparajita?" Is the only thing I manage to speak.

My heart racing like the horses during wars. I can't breath. Why did she come to open the door? Why?

"Stop being stupid, she's the only one inside apart from Aparajita. Of course she'll open the door." I say to myself.

"Rajkumari left to take a walk a few moments ago." She says staring straight into my eyes.

God! Why does she always do this? Straight into my eyes with that deep brown eyes? Why?

"Umm... Okay... I... I umm... I will wait for her return. I need to talk to her about an urgent matter." Abhaya, are you dumb? Why are you stuttering? And what urgent matter? God Vishnu, save me!

"Sure, please come in, Rajkumar." She says with a smile.

There appears her little dimple. God, I am dead. My heart skips a bit. I clench onto my Uttariya.