Haya - The forbidden love

Chapter 18

My voice broke and I don't even know for what, why my heart felt so at ease yet so empty. Why I want to run away or hold on for longer.

Maybe it was the words that he hasn't taken leave of me, all my life I have thought that the one who created the world don't care what I have been through. He left me alone. And here it's written that he hasn't taken leave of me. He is with me.

The words were simple, yet powerful. They talked about feeling good, about having things to be grateful for, and about remembering to be kind. A warmth spread through my chest, a feeling I couldn't quite explain. It was different from anything I'd ever felt before.

I continued reading, devouring Surah after Surah. Each one unveiled a new idea about Islam. Some spoke of finding your way, others of being patient and strong. Some verses talked about helping people in need, about being fair and just. It felt like the Quran had something to say about everything - about life's ups and downs, about the struggles we all face.

But it wasn't just the teachings that were getting to me. There was a certain beauty in the way it was written, even though it wasn't originally in English. It had a rhythm, a special way of sounding that touched me deep inside. As I read, a strange mix of emotions bubbled up inside. Part of me was unsure, a voice in my head whispering doubts. How could a book hold so much truth?

Yet, another part, a growing one, felt an undeniable pull. This wasn't blind faith; it was a sense of yearning, a feeling that something was missing in my life, and maybe, just maybe, Islam could fill that void.

I closed the Quran, the silence in the room heavy with my thoughts. I didn't know what the future held, what path I would choose. But one thing was clear: Islam was no longer a strange land for me. It was a place I was starting to explore, a place that held a strange allure, a promise of peace and purpose.

Sleep evaded me that night. My mind raced, replaying verses, contemplating the teachings. For the first time in a long time, I felt a flicker of hope, a sense that maybe, just maybe, there was something bigger out there, a guiding light I hadn't known I needed.

BACK TO PRESENT

After the Salah , I sat in the Masjid closing my eyes and hiding my face in my palms. The Masjid was silent because most of the people left. There was lightness in my heart, so much lightness but I could not breathe and I was keep on crying as if this will erase all the sins I have committed.

" Ya Allah..... I'm so sorry.. I-I let you down.. I didn't recognized your existence my whole life , I.. Am really sorry. Please forgive me. I know I'm Asking for too much, but Allah I will do everything in my will to become your favorite servant. I'm here bowing down to you Allah, I'm giving myself to you . Please guide me like you did. "

I paused for a moment. Thinking in my mind.. Last night I talked to Mrs Ahmed she is like my mother. I told her everything with Haya. And you know what she said.

" You said she is a nice girl and she loved you but out of nowhere she decided to leave you right " I nodded my head at her while she was giving me a head massage . She do it most of the time.

" Have you ever thought that maybe she realized before you that.. You needed to be on the right path, maybe she left you to Allah. Maybe she didn't want to pull you down in hell fire. Maybe she helped you towards Allah"

Whole night I have been thinking about her words. When I close my eyes, That scene in the rain replayed. This time I didn't focus on her hateful words rather, I look deep in her eyes, they were telling a different story. Her eyes were red, she was in pain . Her hands were trembling and she was trying her best not to look at me.