Girl You Fucked Before (18+)

Whenever You Need Me

She grasped my hand and tugged me to sit down on the floor with her. "Come," she urged. "Let's play a game to take your mind off this."

She tapped her chin. "Hmm...let me think." Suddenly, her green eyes shone as though they were emeralds. "I know! Ask me anything."

I dropped my head into my hands and groaned. "Addie, there is nothing more to learn about you. You couldn't keep a secret if your life depended on it."

"I've got it. Leo!" She exclaimed.

"Oh my God," I moaned. "The oxygen is being cut from your brain. You don't even know my name anymore."

She thumped my arm. "No. I'm referring to Leo. You once asked me who I lost my virginity to, and the answer is Leo."

I whipped my head up and scrunched my features as I stared at her. "You didn't have sex for the first time until the end of senior year? I would have assumed it was way sooner in life than that."

Hurt reflected in her gaze as her eyes roamed over me. "Why? Because I've since been with more than a few men? It took me awhile to make the decision to even sleep with him."

I smirked at her. "So, what changed between then and now?"

She shot a venomous glare at me. "Am I just a joke to you?" She seethed. "Did it every occur to you that I'm terrified to give my heart away to a man, so I choose to give them my body instead."

"I..." My mouth worked to string together a coherent sentence, but nothing came out. "I'm sorry, Addie," I apologized at last. "That was an insensitive remark of me to make. But may I ask why?"

"Because..." She paused to inhale deeply, tears shimmering in her eyes. "I don't want to end up like my parents, stuck in a loveless marriage."

She blew out. "This game was a bad idea," she muttered. "Let's play something else."

Turning, she fished into her purse and pulled out an eyeliner. She nodded at me. "Let me see your arm."

Willingly, I obliged and watched as she began drawing hearts on my skin. I snickered. "What are you doing?"

"Giving you a tattoo," she answered, surrounding the ink of my mother's name with the cartoonish shapes. Pausing to inspect her work, she traced her fingertips over the letters that spelt out Hailey.

"Tell me about your mom," she whispered.

I smiled sadly, gazing fondly at the cursive, forever imprinted onto my flesh. "She was the most incredible woman. She was a terrific storyteller too. Every night before bed, she would lay down with me, stroke my hair and weave together adventures about dragons that breathed liquid gold, mermaids with hair as vibrant as the rainbow and pirates that plundered for treasure. My love for getting lost in a fantasy world blossomed from her tales of fiction."

I stared up at the ceiling of the elevator, blinking back tears. "It's weird because I don't have a ton of memories of her so I feel as though I shouldn't ache for her presence as much as I do but there's just this void that I can't seem to fill."

My sights fell back down onto Addison as she nodded sympathetically. "I recall how much she loved me though," I pushed on, swallowing the lump that had formed in my throat. "And I've spent my whole life trying desperately to replace what I've lost."

Addison's eyes glistened. "That's really sweet, Matt."

Shifting, she leaned back against the wall of the elevator. "I understand how you feel," she said with a sigh. "I've yearned for an everlasting love that I'm not even sure exists. I'm so scared that the sparks and passion of any relationship I enter will eventually be doomed to snuff out.

She wrapped her arms around her knees and gazed off at the wall. "I just want to feel something other than lust for someone but I'm afraid to even try."

I scooted over and gathered her into my arms, stroking her hair as she rested her head on my shoulder. "I had no idea you felt that way," I whispered.

"But he's out there, Addie," I encouraged. "I know it. You can't give up. You just have to keep searching. I know for a fact that deep powerful love you speak of exists because that's what I share with Vanessa."

She stiffened in my embrace before pulling away. "Right. Of course." Then handing me the eyeliner, she cleared her throat. "It's your turn. Do me. Uh...I mean...give me a tattoo."

Grinning, I uncapped the cosmetic as I leaned in towards her face. I pressed the tip to her cheek and wrote out a simple message.

Shaking her head, she pulled out a compact from her purse. "What did you do?" She laughed as she spied the words, Matt was here.

"Nice," she retorted sarcastically. "You're such a goon."

Just then, the elevator rocked slightly as it whirred back to life. "Hey, look at that," I beamed with triumph. "We didn't die."

I nudged her with my scythe. "And thanks to you, I didn't even panic too badly."

She gave me a wistful smile. "I'm your friend, Matt. I'll be there for you whenever you need me."