My Salvatore Heart

Chapter 11

He visibly slumps, "What happened? What did he do to you, Kitten?" he says, knowing full well what happened, as he reaches in to take me and I inch away from him and hug my knees. "No Kitten, please don't hide from me. You're safe with me, don't you know that? Please let me take you out of here. I can keep you safe."

"Keep?" the only word I've really heard. That word that haunts me still to this day.

"Kitten, please." he reaches again I just stare at his hands, His eyes say it all. He's desperately trying to find the words, anything to get me to trust him.

"Keep. He wanted to keep me. He can't keep me. I can't let him. He can't keep me. Keep." I mutter aimlessly.

"Klaus is gone, Kitten. He can't hurt you. He can't keep you ever. I'd never let him." he says gesturing to me.

"Not Klaus. Him. I dream about him when I'm alone. He's always there watching me. He's waiting for me. He's not done with me." I mutter.

"Who is? Who's Him?" he asks. He shuts off the water and he climbs in, clothes and all, facing me.

"He's there always. His eyes haunt me when I'm all alone. He's there always. Ever morn and every night, some are born to sweet delight. Every night and every morn, some to misery are born." I continue muttering.

"What is happening to you?" he says, struggling with himself not to take me in his arms as I just stare blankly.

"Damon, I have an idea. I think I can get her out of here. She might trust me." Caroline says from the door. He waves her in and she stands next to the tub and stretches her arms out to me. "Kit, sweetie? It's me Caroline. Do you wanna come with me?" she asks smiling. I look to her for a few moments, then i stretch my arms out willing to go with her anywhere.

She lifts me out of the tub and I slowly start to snap back into reality.

"Where am I taking her?" Caroline asks.

"Take her to our bedroom. I think I can get her to focus in there." he says.

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Soon I'm sitting on our bed, being wrapped in a towel and Damon thanks Caroline and walks her downstairs.

"You can't fix me you know." I say, looking off into the distance as he cautiously paces back into the room.

"Are you really here? Are you ready to talk about this? How are you feeling?" he asks and sits on the edge of the bed, careful to not touch me.

"You don't have to distance yourself. I won't freak out again." I say, carefully eyeing him.

"Please tell me what's going on. I'm done being in the dark. I wanna help you any way I can. At least tell me why you have nightmares." he looks at me in desperation.

"Damon, I can't-"

"You can. You need to rid yourself of these demons. You'll never live a normal life if you don't." he says and for some reason, all I can do is laugh.

"And what's so funny? Kit, you've just gone through a horrible ordeal." he looks stunned but hurt.

"Don't you see? We can never have a normal life, Damon. Remember?" I say, mimicking a vampire face and he smiles the first time since earlier today. I've been out of it for a long time. It's now dark out.

"You're irresistibly cute, but we're not playing this distraction game. I wanna know once and for all. I can handle it. Whatever it is." he says, his face falling again.

"I need time, Damon. I don't know what you'd think of me if you knew. Please, just give me time." I say.

"After everything that's happen today, you still dodge me? Do you not trust me? How much time could you possibly need? He thinks because he's a hybrid that he can walk all over us! What will it take for you to trust me enough before you tell me? How long before he finds you vulnerable enough to take advantage of you again?!" he shouts so loud it makes me jump.

"It never should've happened the first time! I was a kid! I was a defenseless kid! I'd never done anything to anyone and the one thing I had left was taken from me!" I gasp when I realize I've basically spilled my guts. I start to cry uncontrollably and resign to finishing what I've started. "I couldn't defend myself at all. I had no idea what was going on. He took me and ran with me into the woods. He was such a scumbag and everybody in town knew it. He was a loser who would've done anything and screwed over anyone for a good time. I was that ultimate high for him that day. He told me that. He told me I could give any woman a run for her money as he did what he had to do to me. Every morn and every night, some are born to sweet delight. Every night and every morn, some to misery are born. He taunted me with that for years after that. I never knew what it meant. I hear it in my nightmares. He's always there, watching and waiting. He'll never let me go." my voice goes silent as I cry the last tears I could shed for this subject. How will Damon react? Half expecting him to embrace me, I look him in the eye as he processes what I've just revealed.

In a flash, he takes off. I can't believe my eyes as I realize he's actually left. In shock, I jump out of bed after him and resign to stay put. I walk over to our dresser and pull on a pair of pajama shorts and a matching tank that Elena loaned me once. I position myself in the middle of the bed and I lay there hoping he'll come back. I can't rush this and go looking for him. He needs time to process everything. I'll give him that.

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I've struggled the entire night not to sleep. I won't suffer in this nightmare anymore. I can't see his face again. I need my love. I need to feel his strong arms, my security blanket, wrapped around me. I need to feel him next to me. As ironic as it is, he keeps the darkness away. He keeps Him away. I need him more than I've ever needed anybody in my entire life. He's what keeps me sane, even when he's what drives me crazy. I can't imagine ever being without him, unlike now when I want him here so badly.

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I hear a thud as the doorknob turns and the door opens violently. Then, I see Damon stumbling in and he falls to the floor.