i can't want you (i'm taking you anyway)

part 11

Taylor's POV

September

October

November

December

I felt like that one scene in that twilight movie. You know, the one where Bella sits in her chair and the camera just goes in circles around her while the months pass? Yeah, that one. I mean, I didn't just sit there for months, but I felt hollow. I did everything that I needed to do, but I didn't do much more. I slept, I ate, I worked. On repeat. I threw myself into my classes.

Abigail and I drove back home in separate cars on the eleventh of December. I felt okay, a little down when I drove past the sign that told me I'd entered my hometown, but okay. This was the first time I'd be home for more than just a weekend, and I wouldn't let anything mess this up. Christmas was my favorite part of the year.

"Hi honey, oh it's so nice to see you!" Mom engulfed me in a hug the second I stepped through the door. "How have you been sweetheart?"

"I'm okay." I mumbled, forcing a smile. "Where's Dad?"

"He's out doing some shopping with Austin." Mom reached down and took one of my two bags. "I told them to get your favorite chips for you." She smiled, excited, and I just knew by the way her smile fell a few seconds later that I wasn't acting as happy as I should be. "Oh my baby, you can't fake a smile from your Mama. Come here." She dropped my bag and hugged me again, tighter. "I know you're unhappy but it'll get better. You just need to give it some time."

I had given it time. I'd given myself four months of time. And I still couldn't let it go. 

"I know." I mumbled.

"Hey." Mom kissed my forehead. "You want to make some Christmas cookies? I know how much you love those."

"Sure." I smiled. "That'd be great." Mom knew exactly how to cheer me up.

We made cookies, making an absolute mess of the kitchen like we always did, and then laughing about it whenever we couldn't find something. Dad and Austin came home halfway through, took one look at the kitchen, and both rolled their eyes. It felt just like it used to; before Austin and I had gone off to college. We bickered over the icing, flicked flour at each other, and Mom and Dad laughed at us. It was really nice. I hadn't realized just how much I'd missed my family.

After we'd cleaned up the kitchen, I went to put my bags upstairs, dumping them on my bed for later. We had dinner and then spent the evening watching a movie. Well, Mom and Dad watched the movie. Austin and I sat on the floor by the coffee table, playing board games, actually getting along for once. He'd been a lot nicer to me ever since everything with Travis had happened.

My phone buzzed in my pocket and I glanced down, looking away from the game and opening up my texts.

Hailey: Hey Taylor! Heard you're back in town for a few weeks. A few of us are going out tonight, it'd be great if you wanted to come, we haven't seen you in ages. We'll be at Ritchie's at eight.

Ritchie's was this bar on the edge of town, not super popular, but they turned a blind eye to underage drinkers because all they cared about was keeping their drinks sales up. Liking the message to let her know I'd read it, I put my phone away. I didn't know if I felt like going out. I knew I should - I'd spent the last four months hiding from everything I could - and maybe it'd be good for me to get back out there. I couldn't be sad over a one month relationship forever.

I ended up deciding I would go. Once I got dressed - dark grey cargo pants and a plain white tank top - I drove to Ritchie's and parked just down the road. It was a little busy, and I didn't want to get stuck in the carpark trying to get out.