Luna

5

After the very eventful morning, I found my way back to my mom. Most of the Alphas had meetings set up with each other to discuss borders and territories. This left all the children and mates to catch up and prepare for the final celebration. My mom had me on a strict training plan to keep up my strength for the full moon.
"You need to stay focussed JoJo. This is going to be the hardest thing you will ever do." She pulled me to my feet and shook her head.
"I'm trying."
She sighed and sat us back down on the mats, "What happened with Alpha Darrow?"
Feeling anxious, I looked around the room at an attempt to avoid the pity she was feeling for me. "I don't know what to do."
She frowned, "Maybe we should call it a night. You've been working hard and don't look like you slept much."
"I tried."
She nodded her head, "I know. A part of you needs him desperately, that won't go away JoJo. Goddess has connected the two of you. You can't disrespect that."
"But he slaughters." The knot in my throat erupted into tears, "I saw what he did." My frame began to tremble with the memories of Josh completely inniolating Alpha Rickards and his pack. "I saw..."
Mom quickly pulled me into a hug, "I know sweetie but that wasn't your fault. You need to forgive yourself. Sometimes you can't save everyone."
My sob grew louder and deeper as it echoed through the room. My heart ached with the loss of my brothers and sisters.
"Go get cleaned up. You can't let them see you like this baby girl. You're Luna now, they need to see you strong."
Taking a deep breath, I pushed back the pain and wiped my tears away. "I'll go for a run to collect myself."
"Take your brother or Cris please." She looked at me in sorrow, "Stay close."
Standing, I rubbed my face and held my head up high. Forcing into Josiah's mind, I took another shaky breath. Is Cris with you?
Yeah. What's wrong?
Tell him to meet me in the west garden.
Should I come?
No. I just need a running buddy. You catch up with the guys.
I could almost hear his frown, Are you sure nothing happened? You seem so sad.
Just tired. Mom worked me hard today.
Okay. Cris is on his way.
Thanks.
Turning to Mom, I pulled her into a hug. "Any strength to spare for dinner?"
Smiling, she touched the mark on the back of my neck and brought her forehead to mine as I touched hers. "Crescents luce." Her Latin words filled me with strength.
"Light ever increasing." I interpreted back to her. I could feel the strength of my Mom dimming as the full moon grew closer and it scared me. Her energy and power of the Goddess was filling me. "How are you feeling Mom?"
Her smile was soft. "We're close. You will make an amazing Luna, I know you're ready for this."
My face flushed as I kissed her cheek. "Thanks." Running to the back of the room, I pulled open the door and sprinted to the garden.
Cris was seated on a bench smiling as I approached, "You're glowing Josie."
My smile brightened, "Mom made me feel better."
He looked at me curiously but held his tongue, "Run?"
Scooping up his hand, I pulled him down the path. We ran for almost an hour and it melted away my stress even though I would have preferred a swim. Cris's calming presence was exactly what I needed, or at least a part of me needed it, another part wanted someone else by my side.
When we made it back to the garden, I slowed and took in a heavy breath. "I think you're getting faster." Playfully, I nudged Cris.
He laugh as he threw his arms above his head and rested his hands in his hair. "When did you get so speedy?"
Proud with myself, I stood up a little straighter, "All I do is train these days."
He grabbed his side in pain, "It's paying off."
"Clearly you forgot the meaning of training." I laughed at him, "I thought you were supposed to be getting ready for your promotion to Alpha in the next five years."
He rolled his eyes, "I do just fine. You best watch yourself."
"Is the big bad wolf gonna get me?" My tone was sarcastic.
He easily scooped me up and threw me over his shoulder as he laughed, "That was just too easy Luna."
Flailing in his arm, I struggled against him but his arms had a tight hold on me as he walked us through the doors. "Are you even trying?"
To be honest, I wasn't. I didn't want to walk up the stair after the run and this way I would be getting a free ride. Laughing, I continued my weak attempts at being freed. When we came to the massive staircase, he set me back down.
"Nice try. You forget I know you so well."
Smirking, I shrugged, "Can't blame a girl for trying."
He nudged me before he scooped up my hand and pulled me up the stairs "Your too special." I knew there was another part to his sentence that he was holding back and I knew it had to do with Josh.
"Goddess knows what she is doing."
"I have to say that I used to believe that." He sighed and slowed our pace, "You're my best friend JoJo. You deserve someone who will treat you like the Goddess herself. Someone who can see all your love and joy - someone who will feed your spirit, not crush it."
My heart ached with his words, that's what I wanted. All my life, that had been the man I dreamed of. Someone who would laugh and dance around a room with me for no reason - someone who would be just as childish as me. But no, I got a psychopath - a cold blooded killer.
My wolf growled at me. You don't even know him. How could you be so judgmental. It's not the Luna's place to judge.
Cris sighed, "We'll keep you safe Josie, you don't need to worry."
"Are you in danger?" His voice came from behind us and sent waves of tingles through my body. Josh.
Turning around, I released my hold on Cris and took a step back in fear. "No."
His frame was trembling out of control and my instincts were to reach out and pull him to me but I fought it. His green eyes watched in sadness as I took another step back.
Cris stood taller, "You alright Alpha Darrow?"
Josh's eyes blazed black, "I'd like to talk to Luna alone." It was not a question. I could hear his alpha tone thick in his voice.
Cris looked over at me with questioning eyes. "Josie?"
Fear plucked at my heart but I pushed it aside. I told him I would give him a chance. "I'll be fine. Go get ready for dinner."
Cris nodded and looked at Josh threateningly. It was actually humorous to see him stand up to the most powerful Alpha for me. Smiling, I pulled him into a hug. Giggling, I whispered in his ear sarcastically, "You could totally take him." It was soft enough that Josh wouldn't hear me.
Cris erupted into laughter as he skipped up the stairs. "I know."
Bringing my attention back to Josh, I looked up at him. "What can I help you with?"
His jaw was tight and I could feel how hard it was for him to hold back his beast. "Who is he?" There was no anger in his voice, just sorrow.
"Cris?"
Josh nodded.
"My best friend. We grew up together. His father is Alpha of land that borders with ours, we've been playing since we were pups. He saved me from a rogue when we were younger and ever since that day we have been inseparable." I bit my lip nervously, trying to stop the rambling.
He nodded as his breath grew softer and eyes went back to their beautiful green. "My Beta, Kyle, he's my best friend." This relinquished of information almost seemed to be painful for him and the sight hurt me.
"Maybe I'll get the chance to meet him one day."
Josh's eyes widened and his tiny grin pulled at his lips, "I would like that. He's very similar to Cris, maybe an older version."
My wolf purred at his words. She had fallen for him. Shaking off the strange, casual conversation, I turned away from his gaze. "I need to go shower and get ready for dinner."
He nodded and followed beside me, "I'll walk you to your room."
Laughing, I shook my head, "There's no need for that."
He frowned, "Let me." I couldn't tell if it was a request or a demand but my wolf growled at me to let him. And it was easy to see how hard he was trying to keep his inner beast in check.
"Okay."
His eyes brightened but stone features never moved, "What had you whispered to Cris before he left?"
My cheeks turned bright red, "I was just making fun of him."
"About what?"
"For standing up to the most blood thirsty Alpha in the world."
His steps faltered, "Is that what I am?"
A rush of guilt washed through me and fear too as I looked back at him in alarm.
"Are you afraid of me Luna?"
My heart stopped with his question, I didn't know what to say. A part of me was deathly afraid of him. He haunted my nightmares most nights. Flashes of him ripping up our people filled my head and I took a step back, trying to shake the images. "You can call me Josie." It was a lame attempt at a distraction and didn't seem to phase him.
"Alright, Josie." My name sounded magical on his lips, "Are you afraid of me?"
My throat was dry and I couldn't find the words to explain. This was too much, I didn't even know the man. Of course I was afraid of what I didn't know, of what I had seen.
His jaw tightened and features became hard and eyes grew black. "I will see you at dinner." Before I had time to respond, he was striding down the hall to his own room.
My wolf growled, Look what you did. Now he hurts.
I ignored the urge to go comfort him. He was deadly and fierce, there was no way my comment actually hurt the soulless beast. Even at the thought, my body cringed in pain.
He is not soulless.
Pushing back the knot in my stomach, I threw open my door and stripped into my bra and underwear. Collapsing on the bed in complete confusion. It was like one minute I was in complete and total fear of Josh and then the next it was the most natural thing in the world, more natural than talking with Cris or Josiah. My eyelids grew heavy. I was more exhausted than I had thought. The emotional roller coaster I was riding, didn't help with the exhaustion. Before I could ever get into the covers, I was out like a light.