Psychotic Maniac

Chapter 45

Edward settled in at the reminder of the long drive fiasco she pulled two years back. She had switched seats and taken over his car just like tonight, riding all the way through the highway at the highest speed and stopping until his car gave away.

She locked the door and hit on the gas. Zooming out of the place, she was already racing.

"Estella—"

"Oh shut the fuck up," she shouted. The rush hour was over, giving her trafficless access to the road. "You lied to me. You fucking lied to me. Oh god, I don't know why I'm even surprised anymore."

"Slow down," he said. "We're literally in the main city."

"Oh you're the one to talk about right and wrong," she grunted. "Just shut the fuck up, okay? I know what I'm doing."

Not overstepping the speed limit, Estella managed to shuffle her way out, her nerves on fire the whole time.

The engine died and Estella unlocked the door, scrambling out of the car. Edward was less enthusiastic about coming out but when he did, his face contoured with ambivalence.

The vast cemetery was stretched out before their eyes, crippling with pacific silence. It was still illuminated with small bulbs and fancy lights or whatever was left of it.

"You were not supposed to..." he was struggling to find the words. "Why? Huh? This doesn't concern you, Es!"

Estella looked him right in the eyes. "When Dad died. I was scared. Scared to let him go. I thought if I reconciled my feelings, he'd go away. I might forget him too easily. The denial was eating me and my mom," her voice was heavy with memories of Jay's departure. "But you... You would bring me where he was lying buried. You said you wanted to make me choose if that's what I want. Took me down the road that I won't walk. The harder part before the hardest part." she said. "So now I've helped you cross the harder path. After here, it's your choice," Estella gestured to the entrance of the cemetery. "Go. Only if you want to. Don't do it for me. Don't do it for your father, for your brother and sister, or for the world. Do it for you. Pay your respects. Very few did today. And even fewer who meant it." Expelling a long breath, she chuckled. "See even I learned something from you."

He stood there, frozen as if the world had finally stopped. Seconds doubled into minutes.

"Let's leave," he declared, already aiming for the car.

She was in front of him, stopping him, nearly collapsing into him. The pain he tried so hard to hide was making appearances. He looked troubled, out of his soul yet so human. The same face she fell for, the same personality he put in front of her. Maybe it wasn't a lie after all. He felt human when he was with her.

"Alright," she said. "Let's leave if you feel like it."

"Thanks," he replied but his relief was short-lived, however.

Turned out, the cemetery wasn't empty after all. Nora, draped in a thick scarf, accompanied by her mother was walking out of the cemetery. Estella imagined Nora pulling Edward into a hug, thanking him for showing up.

However, she was breathing angrily. The soft eyes of her mother landed on Estella, regarding her with the same gentleness she always had.

"Nora," Edward held her sister's hand when she kept walking away from him.

She jerked her hands off. "Maybe Elvis is right after all. You are selfish," she spat. "You know the only one who shared her blood couldn't spare her a few seconds. No one was expecting a huge speech, a song, or a ballad from you. We just wished you cared."

Nora turned to Estella. "Sorry for troubling you. Thank you."

"It was great meeting you, Estella," Vanessa added, patting her shoulder affectionately.

"Thank you," she said. "And me too."

The awkwardness didn't extend longer as a car stopped in front of them and both women hopped inside, leaving them alone.

"See," Estella said. "You have more people to care about you than hate you. They stuck around for you. You're not your father. It's all your mother in you. She, who made you laugh, let you pick seashells, and taught you things. Be her, not him."

When he moved, Estella was sure he would be on his way to the car, right on the road, returning instead of taking a step ahead.

"You wanna come with me," he put his shaking and hesitating hand out for her.

Warming up inside, she felt his skin hot under her palm. Together, they walked in. A cemetery had never looked that beautiful before. Privately owned and lined with only past members of Blake's family, it was spacious.

Tiny white and yellow bulbs were hanging by thread-like wires at either side of the walk path. A bouquet of red roses and white lilies alternatively were placed in stands at every corner and candles were still running aflame ahead of them making it mesmerizing.

She let Edward walk, giving him space time, and privacy. He wavered when sensed her leaving him behind but understood that now it was his path to walk on, he picked up the pace.

Chairs now empty were lined right in front of Jiah Churchill Blake's grave, a few chandeliers and, dream catchers hanging beautifully from a tree next to it.

Its branches spread all over the place covering most of the space above her head. One of the dream catchers had a seashell attached to it.

Estella peeked a look at Edward who was now one knee down in front of his mother's grave, lost in his words. She couldn't hear anything he was saying.

Estella veered back to the walking path they came in and began working. Firstly, she carefully pulled out a few red roses and lilies, putting them together into a single bouquet. She then grabbed the dream catcher with a sea shell, pulling it apart by the fluffy feather and string it was sewn to. Finally, she used the feather string and tied the flowers together, the seashell falling in the center of the knot.

Edward was now up on his both feet, a small crumpled photograph in his hand.

"This is my favorite pic of us," he told Estella when she was near him. "I wish I had made a copy of it." he lowered with intentions of leaving it as a memento for her. Estella held his hands once more.

"Here," she showed him the flowers. "Keep the picture with you."

With a smile, he took the flowers from her. Lillies and roses. Just like his mother liked them. Together. His fingers grazed the petal and then he lowered his eyes, the seashell catching his attention.

"Es—" but then he relaxed and aligned the flowers on the top of other flowers piled there.
He stayed there for a few more seconds and when he was ready, she left her own rose for her before joining Edward and making an exit.

"Thank you," Edward was walking next to her. "For making me come here. I didn't know I needed it until five minutes ago."

Estella smiled in return.

"I told her," he went on. "I told her I miss her. I told her I missed spending the days with her. How we went on walks at the beach. Played with Draco. Making breakfast together. And I thanked her for letting me be."

"That's lovely," she told him, rubbing his shoulder for a moment.

They almost reached the gate when he clasped his hand with her, spinning her around. "You met my therapist, didn't you?" he was calm with peace. "And don't lie. You know about her favorite flowers and then the seashell. I've never told her except her. That's where you went yesterday, didn't you?"

She stood still, neither accepting nor denying.

"That girl you met at the party. Now I remember her why she was familiar. She worked for Mrs. Jones. She told you about my therapy to you, didn't she?" he went on and tugged her close, and nothing was separating them, not even air.

Everythimg was so raw. The voice, those words, and those emotion when he said. "Will you stick around too?"

She never knew there was more inside her that could break when she gathered enough courage to tell him. "You already know the answer to that. And I'm not changing my mind."