Kiss Me When I Lie [ONC 2024]

4- Smooth-Talking Model

~Kya~

About a half hour after going to talk to Stu, Officer Kim returns.

We stand outside my door, and he stands all business-like with his hands resting on his belt.

He coughs and then says, "I spoke with Mr. Greco. He claims he had your verbal permission to enter your residence."

Rolling my eyes, I snap, "No. He has my verbal permission to go to hell, though."

Officer Kim ignores my snarky comment and continues, "Did you speak with him yesterday about wanting him to fix the sink?"

"No, I asked him to fix his face. I don't like the way he looks at me."

"Ms. Edwards. Kya. Please, be serious for a moment."

"Fine. Yes, I gave him a list of things for him to fix and his response was that I should move out."

"Okay, well he claims that he entered the residence to fix the pipes and he needed to shut off the water to do that."

"That's..." I can't. I know nothing about plumbing, but I do know Stu, and his shit reeks. "What about the turd he left behind?"

"He said it wasn't him."

"Can you DNA test it?"

He smirks. "If there was a murder, sure."

"So he has to kill me first?" My voice comes out shriller than I mean it to. Not that I think Stu would murder me.

He wouldn't, would he?

Officer Kim shrugs. "Sorry. There is only so much I can do. This is a landlord and tenant issue. Not really a high-stakes crime."

"The text message!" I pull out my phone and wave it in front of him. "See! I asked if he shut off my water and look at his response," I deepen my voice,"Seems like a problem for you." I wave my hand in exasperation. "That's malicious."

He sighs. "Yeah, I asked him about that. He says he's old and has butter fingers and meant to say 'I'm working on the problem for you'."

Holy crap! Stu is a really good liar. A much better liar than me, probably because he has no soul.

"You don't actually believe that do you?"

"Doesn't really matter what I believe. I told him he needed to turn your water back on, and to make sure there is written proof that he is giving you notice before he enters your apartment. I'll write up the report, but don't expect anything to come out of it. Meanwhile, just document everything. Talk to a lawyer if nothing changes. This is likely to end up more of a civil issue than a criminal one."

I shake my head in disbelief. "So...him breaking into my place isn't criminal? He threatens and bullies me, but because his name is on the mortgage, it's fine?"

Officer Kim looks at me apologetically. "Didn't say it was fine, just not criminal. It can be, but most of the time these things aren't treated as such." He puts on a relaxed smile and says, "Why don't you go and see if the water is back on?"

I nod and leave him in the hallway. He doesn't want to come back inside my place, I don't blame him, it smells like Martha Stewart's farts in here. I turn the knob on the faucet. It sputters and water comes out. I sigh in relief.

When I return to the hallway, Officer Kim asks with a smile, "Did it work?"

"No," I burst out.

He frowns. "I heard it running."

"Oh sorry, I thought you meant your smile." Smooth, Kya. Real smooth.

His cheeks redden and I laugh. That was one of the lamest things I've ever said, but he doesn't seem to think so as he pulls out a piece of paper from his pocket. "Here. I wrote my number on the back. Feel free to call me if anything happens...or for any reason at all." He bashfully runs his hand through his dark hair, failing to meet my eyes as I take the card from him.

He's cute and I'm single. Very single. "I'll do that. Thanks Officer Kim."

"Simon."

"Okay, thanks Simon," I correct. Not sure how I feel about going out with a police officer, but Simon seems chill. He's a little shy, which is charming.

Before he turns to leave, he asks, "Hey! Are you doing that stand-up thing tonight?"

"Not tonight, I'm modeling," I blurt.

"Modeling? Wow! Really?"

"I mean for my sister and her...business." I almost choke on the word. She would be ecstatic to hear me describe it that way.

He grins. "Ah. Okay. Well, good luck with that, and I hope to hear from you." He winks and then leaves.

My heart flutters with the good feelings as I stand outside my apartment door, reluctant to go inside.

"Must be nice," a snarling voice interrupts.

I startle and turn to see Stu leaning against the wall like a creep.

"What's nice, exactly? My apartment? I'm sorry but I beg to differ."

"It must be nice to be able to just bat your lashes, and get men to fawn over you. Bet you've gotten out of a ticket or two, huh?" he asks scornfully.

"I don't know. I've never been pulled over," I lie. Everybody gets tickets here. I've gotten pulled over five times and I rarely drive.

Coincidentally, he's right, though. I was able to get out of most of them.

Stu shakes his head and sneers, "I hate your type. Always teasing, but never delivering." He pauses for a moment. "You shouldn't have called the cops on me."

My stomach dips, and I fight the urge to flee.

"Yeah? Maybe you shouldn't shit where you eat," I retort. See? That was a good comeback that made perfect sense. I grasp my hands together to keep the tremors from him. This dude really hates women, and it shows.

He laughs without humor. "It's okay. You'll regret it soon enough."

"What's that supposed to mean?" I practically shriek.

He laughs more heartily and my teeth clench. "Nothin', princess." Grunting, he pushes away from the wall, then turns, and goes back down to his lair, cackling with each step.

Wow. I really need to move. Like, really need to move. Oh well, I don't really have time to think about that right now because I have to get ready to go to Calle's.

After packing my bags, disinfecting the bathroom, and showering, I poke my head out into the hallway, making sure Stu isn't hidden in another corner ready to pounce on me. Empty, thank God, but there are some male voices shouting from the basement.

Hopefully, someone will punch him. He needs that creepy smirk to be beaten out of him. I'd do it if I had it in me, but better leave it to the criminals he hangs out with. If they are criminals, that is.

Quickly, I dart out the door. Call me paranoid, but I don't want to run into any of them.

I need to pick up my car, but my body is incapable of carrying Elvis, my laptop, and suitcase three blocks to the garage. So, regretfully, I have to come back to my apartment one last time before I can head upstate.

Then sayonara Stu, and hello MLM lipstick party hell.

A/N: This chapter is a short one! Hope you enjoyed it. Things are about to pick up! The next chapter will have a new POV and my secondary ONC prompt❤️

WC: 1219
Total WC: 8131