Let's Recelebrate - Book 2 (a Joshler story)

♡ CCXV ♡

Josh was so conflicted. He didn't want Tyler to pay for another plane ticket for him, at all. He felt guilty, he didn't want him to pay for him, he didn't want Tyler to do so when Josh just got him something to say thank you. It'd be like Tyler bought the game himself and more, 'cause the ticket was more expensive.

But being able to stay for one more day, one more day with Tyler... he wanted that so bad. Seeing Tyler cry because of how badly he needs Josh to stay just a little longer... how he isn't ready to let go of him yet, it broke his heart and it made Josh wanna stay so badly.

"I can't lose you J, not yet", Tyler whispered. "You- you're not losing me Ty, you're not", Josh replied as he sniffled softly. "I am though", Tyler sniffled. "I won't be able to see your smile anymore, to look into your eyes, to hear your voice, to cuddle you and hold your soft hand, I won't be able to hold you as I play your game and- and I won't have those late nights talking to you anymore", he cried. "I'll lose all of that but I- I'm not ready, please stay one more day, please Josh please", Tyler begged.

Fuck, Josh thought. He was making it so fucking hard for him to decide. He wanted to stay with Tyler so badly, he wanted to stay with him forever, but he couldn't let Tyler pay for everything for him. He felt like he had to make the hard choice and tell him he couldn't do it, but as he looked at the hurt in Tyler's eyes...

"You're making this really hard Ty", Josh whispered softly, then he wiped some tears away of his own. "I don't wanna... I wanna stay longer Ty, I do, but I- I don't- I feel like I can't let you do this 'cause you've been doing so much already and it makes me feel really guilty", Josh sniffled. "You do so much for me and then I try to do something back but... it means nothing 'cause right after, you're paying things for me again and I- I don't want that, I don't want you to think I'm using you, that I'm using you to pay these things for me and- and that's why I'm here 'cause it's not and I- I can't ever risk you thinking that way about me, I can't Ty", he sniffled. "I- I can't allow that", he said as his breath hitched slightly.

"Josh, baby, baby don't say that, don't say that it meant nothing", Tyler pleaded. "It meant everything to me J, you mean everything to me and that's why I so badly want, no; need, you to stay one more day", he sniffled. "You're so important to me J, you mean so much to me, and with every day you mean more to me. I love you more every day 'cause you're so incredible and so, so sweet and I just- I need to- to be able to prepare myself for when you leave, I- I need time to process it and- and come to terms with it so I- I won't break down like I'm fucking doing right now because I'm a weak piece of shit", Tyler said as he wiped his tears harshly. "I- I can't- I- please don't- don't just leave J, not tomorrow, not yet", he sniffled. "P-please don't leave me", he whispered. "Not yet."

Josh didn't know what to say, he didn't know what to do or think. Tyler was making it so so so fucking difficult for him. He buried his face in his hands as his thoughts were running like crazy.

He suddenly felt a hand on his arm, and then Tyler kneeled down in front of Josh as Josh uncovered his face. He looked into Tyler's sad, pleading eyes, as Tyler took Josh's hands in his own and he softly kissed Josh's hands.

"One more day J, please", Tyler whispered. "Then I- I'll let you go."

I wish you'd never let me go, Josh thought. It made his heart sting.

Josh rested his forehead against Tyler's, sighing softly. "...can we- can we check the prices first? If it's too much, I... I can't", Josh softly said. "Okay I- I'll check, can I check right now?" Tyler asked. Josh nodded. Tyler grabbed his phone as he still held Josh's hand with his other, looking up flights to LA. He scrolled for a while, then showed a few to Josh. "Look, these aren't bad right? Please tell me those aren't too bad", he muttered the last part. As Josh saw the prices, his heart rate slowly calmed down. They were actually quite affordable. Not the cheapest, but not even remotely close to being the most expensive ones. That made Josh feel less stressed about all of it.