King of my heart

part 14- Proud and misterious

A strange pinch in my nose suddenly wakes me up. I move and try to understand what it is. I'm awake now. I roll over to see what time it is and...Nate. I'm sleeping with Nate! We fell asleep last night after our reunion (I think?). I pat him with my hands trying to wake him up.
"Nate we fell asleep here what time is it?" I whisper calmly in his ear so as not to wake him up too abruptly. He rubs his eyes and I see him look around, realizing he fell asleep with me on a towel on the beach. Well, the pinch that woke me up was sand. But how could this happen?
After looking at his phone to know what time is it, he stretches and looks in my eyes.
"Mhm princess, it's 8:30 pm. We fell asleep three hours ago. I guess we were tired. Your kisses are weary huh? I love them anyway" he states as he approaches my lips and kisses me warmly. Between the two kisses he steals from me he whispers "are you awake princess or do you think it's a dream?". How can he be so sensual even when I wake up. It makes me go crazy.
"You are my dream you know?" I tell him, straddling him who is still lying, holding himself up with his forearms behind his back.
I start touching his abs with my hands and an all too old question arises in me. I don't know why I didn't ask him about Camila's message anymore but now that we've resolved our previous argument I can't wait to ask him anymore, it's too important and I need to know. I hope he will answer me without any hesitation or mincing words. I just want the hard truth, I want someone who will throw the truth in my face despite the risks that may compromise this.

With my eyes lowered and a thousand worries occupying my head, while I play with my fingers on his torso I ask him: "Nate listen, that day when I told you... you understand, I never want to say it again. Well I saw a message from Camila on your phone and I would like to know what she wanted to tell you since you told me that you no longer have a relationship" I say in one breath in a panic and a bit of shame and then add "you know I don't want to act like a crazy jealous girl but I have never approved of her as a person and after what you told me...". He smiles. Maybe he's happy that I'm a little jealous and that I care about him. Perhaps. Or maybe he's about to go into hysterics because I invaded his privacy. Both options worry me, I trust in the belief that there is a third and that perhaps it will be more positive.

"So you're basically telling me you want to fight again? After we slept together?" he asks me seriously. Are we joking? My question is more than legitimate.
"Nate, does this reaction seem normal to you? If we want to start a relationship we have to tell each other everything and I don't think you're doing that. Please try to understand me." I tell him in response. He looks at me annoyed and snorts and says: "We were talking about school. That's all. Will you stop worrying for once?"he answers me coldly and detached but as if jokingly places his hands on my hips.
"Nate you can tell me everything below I swear not to judge you." Thus I try to discover the truth by making known to him my benevolence but also curiosity.
"We saw each other, we saw each other Rachel. Me and Camila. I... I wanted to tell you. You asked me to go to his house and I went, I couldn't refuse." he tries to keep talking but my
movement to get up from him and put my things away stops him.
"Rachel let me finish. We haven't done anything you imagine is harder than it seems." he tries to justify himself like this but I'm already two meters away from him while he gets ready and tries to follow me, shouting at me to stop and go back to him.
"RACHEL! Stop it! Listen" is all I hear as I walk towards the house. I should have come back anyway, but I wouldn't have thought like that. Suddenly I turn around and literally and physically point the finger at him and gesticulate.
"You blamed me for hurting you! You've been away from me all this time! For what? The only one here who made a BIG mistake is you! Now I'm telling you: get out of my life". I throw this arduous sentence in his face. All these arguments and suffering for nothing and above all: how difficult can an affair between two exes be? What's wrong with Nate? Oh god, how could I just trust? I don't want to do like him though, I want to clarify. Definitely not now. The hormones are traveling inside me at 1000 km/h but tomorrow I will try to solve it. At least I'm not a hedgehog like him who keeps everything inside. The image of him lying on the sand as he contracts his muscles and shares his world with me through those mysterious eyes distracts me from the anger that persuades me despite everything. It's like a scene from a movie, me running away from my lover. So beautiful, but so proud and mysterious.

Now I'm lying in bed thinking about all the choices I've made in my life, that's how I am: I always have the wheels in my brain that go round and round, always ready to try too hard.
I'm staring at the ceiling with my ears filled with the sound of music. Completely immersed in my world. The door is open, but a figure knocks anyway once already inside the room, drawing my attention. It's Nate Scott. "Um, hi. Look, I wanted to apologize but not completely. Don't jump to conclusions. I apologize for how I answered you and how I reacted. I can't tell you, but trust me, Camila and I didn't do anything... dirty... Here you are." he says, very sure of himself, looking around. He's probably watching how I tidied up the room.
I look at him and nod, putting my lips together to show him how hard I am to believe him.
Nate comes over and sits on top of me on the bed, holding himself up with his hands that are next to my head.
"I would never betray you. You know it. Believe me, princess" he whispers, pressing kisses all over my face.
I melt and then I give in.
"Okay. As long as you explain your situation to me when you want. But now give me lots of cuddles." I ask him softly with a soft face as I take his shirt from his chest and pull him towards me, kissing him.
I'm too happy there's no further discussion. For now, but that's all that matters to me.