Fragmented Soul

Emma

"Because I knew you would react like this. And you have every right too."

"We have some other siblings?" I turn around and see Mark, leaning against the doorway. "What?"

"Dad had sex with another woman when mum was pregnant with me, and now she has twins probably a few weeks younger than me."

"Dad! How could you do that to mum!" Mark yells. "You are such a damn shitty idiot!"

"Calm down," dad says. "Calm down so we can figure this out."

"Okay. I know mum knows. How much money do you give them?" I ask.

"I pay 75 pounds every month to your siblings' mother."

"They are our half siblings," Mark corrects dad quietly. "If they were our siblings, we would have same dad and mum, and we don't."

"Alright -"

"Do we know them?" I ask. "Have we met them?"

"You do, from your theatre show. Mark doesn't know them."

I try to remember who could it be. "What are their names, Emma?" Mark asks.

"Shut up, I am trying to think," I say. The harder I try to think, the harder it becomes. Who could it be? Who could it be? Summer and August seem the only possibility, I conclude. "Summer and August Payne are our half siblings? They are... nice," and they have their mother's surname. Maybe I should change mine to match my mum's too, I almost immediately push the thought away. My father may not be the best, but he is my dad and Woods in his and mine, and Mark's surname, and I'm not changing it. And I share enough things with my mother anyway.

"Yes, Summer and August Payne."

"Do they know we are siblings?"

Dad hesitates before shaking his head. "No, that I know of. But they met me before and know I am their father, they just don't know the story or much about you."

"I'm going to tell them, and you won't stop me," I state, turning to my little brother. "And Mark meets them too."

"Alright, you deserve it, and they do too."

I start exiting the living room. "Mark, come with me. You're meeting our half siblings."

"Over the phone?"

"Yes," I say and open my phone to call Summer, sitting down on my bed. When I do, she doesn't answer, so I call August, but he doesn't answer either. I tried with Summer again, and this time, she picks up.

"What's up?" she asks.

"We need to talk," I say, inhaling and exhaling.

"Are you okay, Emma?"

I sigh. "Yes, I'm fine. Could you get August?"

As Summer yells for August to come, I realise that I have no idea how I am going to tell them we are siblings. I was acting impulsive, but I wanted them to know, and now I don't know how they should find out, and I don't even know them well enough. I am slowly starting to panic, and I feel like I am going to have a panic attack. My breathing becomes intermittent so much I barely can breathe. My heart wants to jump out of my chest. I am starting to sweat.

From the distance, I can hear Mark, Summer, and August calling my name, telling me to calm down, but I don't react at all. I cannot. I am frozen in place, and I don't know what to do with myself or what to say or anything, I just stare in the wall before me, feeling my cold sweat. I just am, and I can't breathe. I start inhaling and exhaling slowly, trying to calm down, to breathe, to stop panicking.