Letters From Kakucho (Kakucho Hitto)

𝓒𝓱𝓪𝓹𝓽𝓮𝓻 𝓣𝓮𝓷: 𝓦𝓪𝓻 𝓢𝔂𝓷𝓭𝓻𝓸𝓶𝓮

"Izana." You turned to face him fully, cheeks flushed, and smiled guiltily. "I didn't expect you'd still be awake at this hour." You trailed off.

Izana sat by the dinning area, nothing but an already warmed coffee in front of him, the absence of the steam made you realize he's been waiting for hours, yet even though he didn't need the caffeine to keep him awake, his anxiety had done it for him.

"Y/n, it's not my place to tell you where you should be.." He starts and your heart drops there to your stomach, scared where this conversation will end, you never liked confrontations, "All I want for you is to be honest with me."

You looked at Izana, his eyes dazzled with concern in them, "I have been honest with you, Izana." You said to him, the guilt hiking up, but even though there hasn't been a lie done, betrayal is..

"Is it true then," He says, his eyes now trained on the untouched mug of coffee in front of him. "You know words travel faster than bullets these days." He says.

You looked at him, mouth opening and closing, unsure how to explain to him that wouldn't make him mad, because he looked like he was already brewing for it.

You wondered, when did it start to live in the house where you felt like every step you take is a mining bomb dug deep on the floorboards, and one wrong step, everything explodes into splinters.

"Y/n—" Izana prodded.

"It is." You said finally,  "I've been spending my time with him, and Izana before you say anything, you are wrong about them, they are good people—" Kakucho, Ran the others..

You looked at Izana again and you saw how his jaw clenched, his eyes wandered somewhere else as if he didn't want you to see the fury in them, "It's not about goodness anymore y/n! Don't forget their kind killed your father—"

"Don't you think I know that!" You yelled, and silence sunk again between you.

Their kind, he speaks as if they aren't the same as us. We all bleed the same color, we all have greeds, nothing mattered today but owning lands, and surviving, yet you understand where Izana's anger is coming from.

Soldiers have duties, war is their home, and once you make a home out of war you won't find peace.

You wondered if Kakucho ever slept at night with the guilt of the lives he had taken, under the title of him, he might have been splendid with his job.

Has nights ever haunted him of it?

"Morals leave out the window once those people hold their weapons, their duty will blind them before you could ever think twice." Izana says.

Bullets are nothing without bodies, like songs are nothing without ears..

"Y/n I could give you whatever you want—"

"Izana don't do this—"

"I have loved you ever since the day I promised your father that I will take care of you!" Izana walked closer to you, "I have loved you on days when you're happy, when you're angry and when you're pouring and shutting the world.." You didn't realize Izana had pressed you both to the corner wall, and you looked up to see for the first time his walls break down, how vulnerable he looked.

"Izana, I love you, and I will always appreciate you for what you did for me, and that will never change, but if I stopped loving Kakucho, I'll be lying to myself and it will break me." You cried to him.

Izana knew this was far to work on his ways, it was killing him inside. He tried to push back the bitterness that lingered in his throat, it felt almost as if he was choking on the emotions that held back there..