-Flashback-
I have always dreamed of becoming a doctor from childhood, it was not only my dream but my father's dream also.
After convening for so long my mother finally give in to my and my father's request,so finally now I can say that my dream is going to be complete soon.
Finally I am going to be a doctor. I always wanted to do be became independent....it was my motto to never depend on someone for anything....at that time I didn't knew that at some point in my life not only financially but mentally and by everything I will depend on someone to the level that when that someone betrayed me there was nothing left in me at that point.
So after convinceing mom I started preparing for my medical College..at that time the AIPMT which is now known as neet (a medical competitive exam in India for entering the medical College) which was always and even now a very tough competitive exam...I have started preparing for that, but luck was not on my side or should I say by thinking about my present situation it's was destined for me to suffer...for finding a newme who only think about herself first.....I was not able to crack the exam so my dream of becoming a MBBS doctor was remained unfulfilled.
But destiny want's something else...and like a light in darkness came my father's friend.
You know I always thought that I was in a debt to my father's friend...Mr.Tiwari. He was the one who suggested to my father that what if I can't become a MBBS doctor there are many fields in biology and I can try for them. He suggested to join Homeopathy which is also a very nice field and have much scope in it.
Now that I think about it I should have listened to my mother who was always very much against it even after agreeing recluntany...I should have listened to the signals of nature that my dream will cost me myself because I was not able to crack the actual exam...that I am going to loose myself...that the person I was believing was light in darkness was actually the call for my destruction who came in a form of gaurdian angel and that was the actual starting point of my destruction along with my family.
-Present-
Now today when I think about all the things which happened with me in my life I can come on only one conclusion that there was no one for me in my life other than God on who I can put my complete trust.
You all might be thinking about my children so as you all know for a mother her child will always be a baby to her so how much can I Depend on them...but as you know when we say when God snatch something from you he also gives you something In return of it.
You can think of my kids like that because they are the one other than God who can kill for me.
I have two daughters..my elder daughter is 22 year old and younger one is 12 years old and they are really the blessings of God .
At this point if time reversed and if I had a choice to change everything I would have again choosen the same destiny for myself because of my kids because who am I Today is because of them...they are worth of all the hardships I have gone or you can say I going through.
You know my elder daughter always say that God has sent her as a gaurdian angel for me because her life revolves around me..she says that she only exist to give me my justice and to prove everyone that I can do it alone, that I don't need anyone love, that the only thing I need in my life is self love... because she always says that " Mumma it is bad to be selfish but it's worst to be selfless" poor me has taken a long time understanding her that sentence.
About my younger daughter ,she is completely opposite to my elder daughter she is calm, think before doing something,but with one similarity with her sister that she can kill for me.
My both daughter's are the only reason because of which I am alive today and want to do something. They make me realise my worth and that" it's not the end until you want it to end".
Before I don't want to live, but now not only I want to live for them but for me also, I want to give them the life they really deserve because what ever they going through and they are enduring and sacrificeing are all because of me.....but now not anymore.
I will do anything in my power to provide the life which they deserve and to prove my worth because...."it only end's when you to want to end it."
Thank you for reading this story
Take care
❤
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