8. Worthless

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As Taehyung returned home at late night, it started raining.

He staggered to his bed, his body heavy with exhaustion. He collapsed onto the soft mattress, his mind still reeling from the events of the day. Thoughts swirled like a storm in his head, leaving him confused and unsettled.

Lying there in the dim light, he felt lost in a sea of thoughts. He closed his eyes, hoping to find some solace in sleep, but his mind refused to be quiet.

After lying in silence for what felt like an eternity, Taehyung stirred.

His gaze drifted to the bedside drawer, a flicker igniting in his eyes. Slowly, he sat up and reached out to it.

His fingers fumbled with the handle before finally grasping it and pulling it open, his fingers searching for something amidst the jumble of items inside.

Finally, his hand closed around a small, intricately carved box. He drew it out, cradling it gently as if it held something precious.

His heart skipped a beat as he carefully lifted the lid, revealing the contents within – a wooden pendant in the shape of a four-leaf clover.

Taehyung's fingers traced the edges of the pendant, a small smile tugging at the corners of his lips.

Memories flooded his mind as he held the pendant in his hand.

"It's maybe hard for you now, but if you keep on living, don't you think better things will happen to you?"

Taehyung left a small sigh "....and just when I thought this would be enough"

Outside, the rain continued to fall, a steady rhythm punctuating the silence of the night.

Taehyung looked at the dark window, "that's right, it was raining that night too"

As he found himself lost in the somber reflection of the night through the darkened window, today's memories stirred within him, pulling him back from the brink of his thoughts.

A flush crept up his neck as he recalled Jungkook's touch, the warmth of his breath against his skin sending shivers down his spine.

"Why did he do that..." Taehyung muttered to himself, his ears turning red with embarrassment as he relived the moments.

His mind raced with questions, wondering what had caused Jungkook's unusual behavior that day.

"He wasn't himself... something must have happened to him today," he continued, his voice barely above a whisper.

Doubt crept into his mind as he wondered if Jungkook's actions meant something more.

"Did he.......... does he.......l-like m-"

Taehyung's thoughts trailed off, his heart racing at the mere possibility.

But then, suddenly, a wave of memories washed over him, his mind clouded. His eyes slowly darkened as bitterness welled up inside him and he let out an empty laugh. "No way"

He clenched his fists, the pendant digging into his palm. "He's straight," he reminded himself bitterly. "There's no way he could ever love someone like me..."

"He's so perfect.....so dazzling.....so beautiful...and I'm....." he whispered to himself, his voice trembling.

"I'm so......" feeling a surge of self-loathing, Taehyung hugged himself tightly, as if trying to shield himself from the pain.

"......So dirty, stained, worthless..." the words echoed in his mind, a relentless sound of doubt and despair.

He looked at the pendant as he held it close to his heart "it's okay ..... it's enough.....it has to be......"




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