40 Days In The Desert

Chapter 19 - Sudden Freedom

Souss-Massa Region, Morocco, 20th of July 1999

The sun is shining brightly above me and the eagle who's feeding me berries. After I survived last night's cold, I'm even looking forward for the heat of today, as I still feel the impact of the terrible pain I had to endure a couple of hours ago, when my wet clothes started to get colder and colder on me.

Even if the eagle was there and tried his best, the cold bit from my skin mercilessly, leaving me with something I assume might be frostbite on my legs.

I know there are surely people who suffered more. I think about Jesus and all the martyrs who offered their lives for the faith. This thought gives me strength to gather my forces and go on, back again in the refuge of my memories.

~

Menorca, Spain, 11th of April 1989

Getting to my sister in Menorca was a counterclockwise journey. Both me and John had to take these nerve wrecking flights until we reached the Spanish island. Then, after we landed, my friend rented a car and we drove like there's no tomorrow to Peter's villa.

"Where's Inge?" I shout the moment when we burst on the door, almost scared that Gerhard might've gotten here before us.

"Gunde?" Peter is so confused. "John? Are you guys okay?"

"We're fine, but an issue appeared," John starts explaining the situation while I go straight to my stepsister's room.

To my relief, Inge is sleeping in her bed. Her eyes open slowly as she feels my presence. Even if I want to apologize and disappear back to the living room, I can't.

It's been more than half a year since I haven't seen Inge, yet so many things changed about her. The illness took so much from the person she used to be, and not necessarily in terms of appearance, as her hair seems to start growing after it probably fell off for good. But there's something in her eyes, a sort of sadness mixed with pain which tells me that the sparkle of life won't return as fast as her hair regrows.

"Gunde," she whispers and I'm a bit surprised to see her smiling.

I get close to her, trying to act as careful as possible. Yet Inge does another surprising thing — she raises her hand and takes mine in hers. Almost like the toughest person I know suddenly needs my comfort.

"How are you feeling?" I ask, completely ashamed that I disturbed her sleep, yet unable to say anything more intelligent.

"Alive," she sighs.

"Are you in pain?" comes my next concerned question since I learned that there's a lot of pain when you have this cursed illness.

"He's free isn't it?"

She chooses to dodge the answer which I take it as a yes, but she also surprises me with how fast Inge made a correct assumption.

I just nod.

"In this case," Inge looks up to me, "it's time for you to go."

"Why would I? I'm not leaving you, Inge," I frown. "What's in your head?"

"You've done enough for me," she speaks so slowly, almost like every word tires her. "Thank you, Gunde , but I'm afraid this is my war with him. These months I came to the conclusion that I threw you uselessly in it."

"No, Inge, I have to contradict you," I state. "Your actions helped me and even saved my life. If you'd have any idea what Gerhard did during my time spent with your family... I need to thank you for throwing me back into this so I could find out about my past."