Just Don't Die

Old Friends

Blaine always assumed that part of the reason Alexis enjoyed going to breakfast with him was because he had a car, and she didn't. That allowed her to have breakfast somewhere other than the cafeteria or before school. She suggested the taco place just up the road with their green chili breakfast burritos. Blaine was more than happy to oblige and couldn't think of anywhere else in the world he would rather eat at this specific moment. About a year after he joined the Army, it closed down, and he always wished to taste one of their breakfast burritos again. He had found a few places in his life that ran a close second, but none were quite as good as they were here.

As they pulled into the parking lot, Blaine reached for his wallet in his back pocket and winced as he realized it wasn't there.

"Any chance you could spot me today, Alexis?"

Alexis stared at Blaine with a look of complete confusion.

"I forgot my wallet at home. I'll pay you back." He explained.

"In all the time we have known each other, you have never called me anything but Lex," she said without changing her expression. "Are you just trying to be weird?"

Blaine suddenly felt stupid for not remembering. He had called her Lex the first day he met her as a joke about her reminding him of Lex Luthor. He had called her that until she had asked him to stop well after they were out of high school.

"Just thought I would change it up a little today." He lied as his face went red.

"Well, don't. It sounds weird, and yes, I will buy you a burrito. No need to pay me back as long as you don't start making me pay for gas," she said, her expression returning to a smile again.

Blaine ordered his burrito and coffee and found a booth while Lex ordered hers. He grabbed a pencil off a nearby counter and started to make a list on a napkin. On the off chance that this was actually real and he had just won the proverbial lottery of the universe, he had to at least try to change the things that messed up his life. The top four things on his list came very easily:

Dad

Mom

Annabelle

September 11th

"Who's Annabelle?" Lex asked, glancing at the list as she sat down with their burritos.

"Uh..." Blaine stammered as he thought frantically of an answer that would explain the list, "she's my cousin."

"Oh," Lex said, changing her focus to her burrito, "I can't imagine life without these burritos."

Blaine was happy not to have to explain any further. He quickly put the napkin in his pocket and started on his burrito. As soon as he began eating it, he concluded that these really were the best breakfast burritos in the world. He could say that confidently without having to wonder if it was only his memories skewed by nostalgia.

He let his thoughts wander about all the things he missed and would get a chance to experience again or change. He got a warm feeling in the pit of his stomach. He only barely recognized the feeling as motivation mixed with excitement. He hadn't felt that feeling in at least a year and definitely had never felt it this strong.

What happens if he messes things up? Would running into his future wife mess up their future? Will saving his parents trigger something worse? All the 'what if' questions started to flood his mind.

"You ready?" Lex asked, interrupting his meandering thoughts. "We have to get to class."

"Yeah," he replied, shaking the thoughts from his mind. He finished the last bite of his burrito and subconsciously reached for his phone in his pocket, remembering for the third time that day that it no longer existed.

Blaine dropped off Lex at the front door before parking and then spent the next three hours in classes reminiscing and pondering the possibilities that he suddenly found himself immersed in. He walked out of class looking forward to lunch in the cafeteria with friends he hadn't seen in decades. He took a few minutes on his way to lunch to remember who his friends were right now but lost interest when he saw a cute, short brunette come running up to him.

"Hey babe," she said as she hugged him tight.

"Hi," Blaine responded almost as a question, weakly returning her hug. His stomach churned as he suddenly remembered her. Blaine had dated Melanie Sattler for his entire Junior year and most of his Senior year. They broke up for a while before graduation and then got back together when he was on leave from the Army. She ended it as soon as he returned to his unit in the Army.

He found out later that his best friend at the time had convinced her that Blaine was just using her while on leave and would never be capable of being faithful. Ironically, that friend ended up dating her for about two months before getting caught with her best friend. He found some solace in the fact that her dad threatened his life if he ever came around after that. He remembered telling himself that he would knock him in the dirt if he ever saw him again.

"What's wrong?" she asked.

"What?" He asked, caught off guard by her astute observation.

"Something is off with you."

"Not sure what to tell you; I feel fine."

"Ok, you know you can always tell me anything," she said, softening her voice and leaning into him.

Without thinking, he leaned away from her. This girl was only 16, and he was essentially in his 40's. In his mind, he was still married, missed his wife, and wished for nothing more than to go find her. He had been thinking about it all morning. She grew up in a town a little over two hours away, so finding her would not be difficult.

As he thought about his future wife, Annabelle, he thought about how he looked right now. He was a shy, fat nerd who lacked confidence or motivation towards anything. She was studious, goal-oriented, and quite impatient. Their experiences in the following decade made them perfect for each other. Before those experiences, they would have likely hated each other. Aside from all that, she was only 12 right now, and a 17-year-old boy going up to a 12-year-old girl and trying to convince her that they would be married in the future would not end well.

"I'm sorry. I guess I'm just having an off day." He said, more honestly than he intended.

Melanie grabbed Blaine's hand as they started walking to the lunch room. The smell immediately triggered memories that again shifted Blaine's already overloaded memory bank.

"I told you he didn't go home for lunch."

Blaine let go of Melanie's hand as it instinctively clenched into a fist. He recognized the voice from the first syllable. Blaine turned to see him. Dominic Swain, or Dom as he liked to be called. He was tall and lanky, with curly blond hair that was always greasy. Blaine always guessed that it was his attempt at keeping his curls down; either that, or he was just lazy.

Blaine closed his eyes as he pushed his anger back, forced a weak smile and a wave, and told himself now was not the time. Blaine knew what kind of person Dom would be; however, that hadn't happened yet, and at this moment, Dom was his best friend. Blaine walked up to the counter, ordered a slice of pizza, and once again realizing he had no money on him, and looked over to his girlfriend. Without saying a word, she just smiled and paid for their lunches. She grabbed his hand again and led him over to where Dom and his other friends from the past were already eating.