A Story for Later

Chapter 3

          Just because your homeless doesn't mean it has to ruin your life. Being homeless is just a phase. I survived a winter here in Michigan living out of my car. How did I do it you may ask? I will be sharing my survival tips from my own personal experience. The person pictured in the last chapter is me by the way. If you were to ask my friends, colleagues, or even family, they would not know that I was homeless. One thing I will say to you is this. If you can avoid it, do not go to a homeless shelter at all cost. I never went to one and I certainly do not plan on it either. 

          Luckily, my girlfriend, Scarlet, stuck with me ever since I became homeless. She has not left my side once since then. I will say that finding someone that loyal only happens once in a lifetime. Trauma builds connections. She had been through some bad shit growing up, and so had I. We were there for each other on our lowest points. I saw her through her breakup with an abusive and disgusting ex, and she has been seeing me through being homeless. I have been the one person that consistently gives her rides, and she has been the person that has consistently helped me get groceries. I have helped her clean her dorm numerous times, and she has given me shelter by allowing to go with her into her room, college buildings, or parents home. Her parents are also very nice people who have generously helped me get some necessary work done on my car and even got me my first gaming system. I so wanted to pay them back for it all because I know that it is my responsibility to pay for what I want. That is what I was taught growing up. I never was supposed to ask anything or burden anyone, because that's all I was to my parents, a burden. They made that so obvious that I felt like even getting any kind of help from anyone automatically made me dysfunctional or irresponsible. I always make it a point to pay back anyone that I owe any money. I don't care if that means I can't take care of myself, I always prioritize paying the people I owe what I owe them. 

         So luckily Scarlet stayed by my side, which really helped me stay warm during the winter. I kept her warm the best I could while she kept me warm. I have blankets upon blankets upon blankets in the back seat of my car. It is very cozy actually, and we do wake up warm and comfortable, besides being cramped, every morning. I lay in bed at night with her by my side, and thank the goodness I am not exposed to the wind, rain, snow, sleet, or biting cold on the inside of my car. I hear the wind or rain, but I don't feel it thankfully. Another thing is, I take care of my small space the best I can. I regularly clean, vacuum, and reorganize my car so that my living space feels more manageable. I also bought a motorhome in hopes that I could live out of it. Unfortunately parking one overnight anywhere for months at a time does not exist, so I have it in storage. Luckily after I bought my first motorhome, I was able to get a majority of the stuff out of my car that was weighing it down, and that made it a lot more manageable. I organized and placed all my things in the camper, and left some basic necessities in my car, such as clothes, waters, food, accessories, basic car repair stuff, art supplies, medicine, hygienic stuff, my most used stuff, my skateboard, and a few candles for warmth. Everything else I placed in my camper such as excess clothes, books, paintings, my bike, and other random stuff. PS, when I first became homeless, I used all my clothes to make a bed in the back of my car until I got a foldable mattress to put back there LOL. Even though I can't use my camper as a house yet, it is great for storing stuff until I can find a place to semi-permanently park it. I can talk more about my motorhome later when I find a place to park it. I actually plan on buying land to put it on later. 

          Another thing is, just because I am homeless does not mean I will act like it. I stay as clean as possible. My partner allows me to use her shower in her dorm room, and sink to brush my teeth. I clean my hair and brush my teeth as often as possible, whether that is at work, in a public bathroom, or in her dorm room. Another thing is, I focus on making sure I have what I need to stay healthy, such as supplemental pills, regularly cleaning my nails, changing my clothes, and cleaning out the interior of my car of any mold or crumbs. I try to recharge my hand held vacuum so I can keep my car clean and I use my broom in my camper. I also go to different foundations to get clothes or shoes that I may need, padding for my bed, or other basic stuff I may need that I can't personally afford yet. 

        I started off at 8 loans, but now it is down to 5 loans by working at my job. I feel proud that I was able to do that on my own, without my parents help. If you plan on leaving your parents household, remember, you won't be able to depend anymore on them for anything. My parents helped me with 1% of my expenses in the year of 2023. They started to cut contributions to me after they figured out I was with a female partner. I don't care though because I would rather be with her than have any more connection to my parents. They are horrible people anyways. 

       Another way to survive it is by building a community of people. A new community of people who accept you for just who you are. I made several friends, acquaintances, and have bonded very well with the people I work with. I also reach out to the warm line repeatedly to bother them with my life story too. :D It is so important to build a new community of people and you have to be straightforward about who you are in order to be accepted properly. Don't linger to tell someone you are gay and have a partner, just say it out loud the first time you meet them, and if they stick around then you made yourself a friend. You must make your image known first. 

         When I first told my manager I was homeless after 7 months of being homeless, she told me that she would've never guessed that I was unless I told her. She said to me that I am very even keel and reliable, and that I present myself well apparently. 

         Being homeless can be hard too. For example, finding overnight parking is always a guessing game. You must always switch up your location every night, and hope that you don't get law enforcement on your case. I park multiple places overnight, and I haven't had any complaints yet. I also don't know if they can flag my car, but I always remain respectful toward anyone of major authority over me. Another thing is getting kicked out of public spaces for being there too long is another pain in the ass. If you are homeless, I hope you have at least a friends house to go to cause I don't even have that. Luckily, my partner and I can hangout in her dorm until 1 in the morning, then go to bed after that. She also had 10 overnights that we used on some of the coldest nights during the semester. My bed time is usually 1 in the morning, then I get up around 10 AM on average. 

        My partner and I do lots of things to pass the time as well, whether it is gaming, going to Walmart, going to the park, working, going to the mall, working on personal stuff, reading, creating, or going to her parents house which is three hours from the college. I love to go to the animal shelters as well and pet dogs or cats. I volunteer at one in fact. I love animals so much. My girlfriend, Scarlet, has two cats and a dog, and I love them so much. Anytime I go to her parents house, I like to take her dog out for a walk because her dog has so much energy, then I like to pet the kitties as well. They are so cute and they sleep on top of each other sometimes. Like adorable. 

The way I see it, my girlfriend and I are not harming anyone by being together, and I don't understand why a small percentage of the world has to be some damn homophobic. If you care about someone else, that should be all that really matters. We are both hardworking and loving people who just want to do well for each other, and for others. We are not involved in bad things, and we don't plan on being involved in bad things either. We are just two good people trying our best to heal from our past pain by caring for each other. We care about others as well, and like to connect with other people so we can be there for them in the same way, whether they need to be taken somewhere, need someone to talk to, or just need a bit of financial help even. 

We are all in this together.