Misunderstood

𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝟏𝟏: 𝐇𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐈 𝐖𝐚𝐬

     ❝𝘞𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘮𝘺 𝘸𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘥𝘴 𝘤𝘢𝘶𝘴𝘦𝘥 𝘣𝘺 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘳𝘦𝘮𝘦𝘮𝘣𝘳𝘢𝘯𝘤𝘦 𝘣𝘦𝘨𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘰 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘭,
                       𝘐 𝘧𝘪𝘯𝘥 𝘢𝘯 𝘦𝘹𝘤𝘶𝘴𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘬 𝘰𝘧 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘰𝘯𝘤𝘦 𝘢𝘨𝘢𝘪𝘯.❞

EVERYTHING WAS A DAZE. As I approached the Slytherin table and sat down, I felt someone pat me on the back and looked up to see a student far older than me, with a Prefect badge glistening on his robes. I felt a bit uncomfortable but happy. He had acknowledged me. Somebody, other than Lily, had been mildly nice to me. I felt good. But then I saw Lily, talking to a blonde girl animatedly, and the smile on her face made my heart stop.

She never smiled like that with me.

'Told  you she would give you up sooner or later' the voice inside my head spoke once more. I didn't reply. I felt miserable. I was going to enjoy today. But...why was everything going wrong like it always did?

I glanced up at the raised podium where the teachers were sitting. A man in midnight blue robes and a tall, pointed hat came up and began talking, his eyes having a twinkle in them. The whole hall fell silent as he spoke, a faint smile on his face. Hushed whispers travelled all around and I tried to get my mind off of Lily, but it seemed impossible. I didn't realise I was frowning. His words went off the top of my head, but I caught snippets like 'rules' and 'Forbidden Forest' and 'headmaster'. I reckoned this guy was the Headmaster of Hogwarts. How amazing would that be?

The man snapped his fingers and sat down, but my eyes widened when I saw the empty goblets and plates around us fill up with delicious, appetizing food and drinks. The scent made me lose my head. Hand slightly trembling, I took the goblet in front of me and took a sip. It tasted like pumpkin juice. I loved it. I filled my plate with some roast chicken and began eating, the flavours and spices making me so satisfied. 

This was magical.

I quite forgot about Lily for a while, the thought of solid, tasty food engulfing me. But soon, the chairs were scraping and the students were moving in lines to their dorms. The Prefect behind me patted my shoulder and I turned.

"You have to join the line heading to the Common Room, Severus. Come, I'll show you." he said, gripping my shoulder tightly and leading me to a swarm of green and silver moving out of the Hall. But I only cared for the fact that he had called me 'Severus'. It felt so good to be called by my name, and not Tobias's. The boy smiled at me, a bit mischievously before going forward to direct the other students. 

I felt that my heart would come out my throat as we travelled deeper to what looked like a dungeon. It got darker and darker and the sound of footsteps and whispers created a rather eerie atmosphere. Soon, though, we reached a bare stretch of wall where everyone abruptly halted.

"I've got the password, don't worry, it's 'Anguis'!" the same Prefect said, making his way to the front of the crowd. As soon as the password was said, a passageway revealed in which students filed in. I felt my breath hitch as I came into what looked like the Common Room.

The Room was long and low, appearing underground and having rough stone walls and ceiling, from which round, greenish lamps dangled, hanging on chains. An elegant and elaborately carved mantelpiece was in the front, with a fire crackling under it.  Lots of low-backed, black and dark green chairs and leather sofas were spread out, as well as skulls, and a few dark wood cupboards. 

I just stood there, bawling like an idiot, before I felt a student bump into me. The Common Room looked almost empty now, with only a few older students hanging around, including that Prefect, who was approaching me.

"What are you doing here?" he asked.

"What?" I asked, still not being able to process my surroundings.

"Oh, I completely forgot. Proper introductions have to be made. I am Lucius Malfoy, pureblood and Prefect. I asked you what you were doing." his tone was sharp but faltered a bit.

"Nothing--"

"Sir."

"N-nothing, sir."

A smile crossed his face. "Good. Now, hurry off to bed. You have classes tomorrow."

"I-I don't know where the dorms are, sir."

"Of course you don't. Come on. Quickly."

I followed him to a winding staircase, and he told me to simply go up. I did, and I saw a door, which I opened, to find five four-poster beds, with curtains hanging for privacy. The whole place looked oddly comforting. I saw a few other boys, but paid no mind to them as I went to the empty bed and lay face down, groaning at the softness of the mattress and pillow. I pulled the curtains forward and took a deep breath, taking in the pleasant smell around me. It was like that oak tree back at home, mixed with dark coffee, burning paper and a bit of bitter chocolate. I revelled in it, everything still a blur to me.

I thought it was all just a faraway dream sometimes.

But here it was. And here I was.

I thought of Lily, her blazing red hair, and pretended she was with me right now as I sat up, and then I began talking. In a whisper, of course.

"I wish you were actually here, you know. We would have so much fun together. Like we've been for this long. Together. Why did we have to separate? I mean, I am so grateful for all of this. Hogwarts. Friends. You. But I can't help myself from wondering if you'll leave me like everything else too. What if you find better friends? What if you forget me? I'm scared, Lily, and I'm never this scared. Never."

I heard someone laughing and I peeked through my curtain to look at some people playing what looked like chess. One of them saw me staring and beckoned me.

"Wanna play?" he asked.

"I...sure."

"Blood status?"

"W-what?"

"Are any of your parents Muggles?"

"Just my d--no. I mean, yeah. One of them."

"Come over, I guess. Lemme explain the rules."

But his words fell to deaf ears as I once again let my thoughts wander to Lily, and what she must be doing right now. We started playing, but I didn't really bother with the game. My thoughts were with her. How I wished I could be wishing her goodnight right now.

But here I was.