FHS #4: The Edge of Tonight

Chapter 6

THE EDGE OF TONIGHT
Future Hearts Series #4

CHAPTER SIX

It's funny how I found myself waking up beside Nikolas that very same day. The only difference is that the sun from the window seemed to be risen high now.

Una ko kaagad na ginawa ay tingnan ang phone ko at doon nga ay nakita ko ang apat na missed call mula kay Hani at tatlong text na galing din sa kaniya.

Hani:
Mom, wrehe you ta?

Those are the same messages that I received from her. It meaans, 'mom, where you at?' Hani is not only autistic. She is also diagnosed with mild dyslexia. It doesn't really affect her daily lifestyle compared to her autism that really took effect with her behavior.

That's when I realized that it's already ten in the morning. I immediately composed a reply saying sorry because I got home late. Hindi naman sana ako pagalitan ng lola niya dahil late na akong nakauwi. Sasabihin ko na lamang na overtime dahil sa certification kahit hindi naman talaga.

Nagmamadali akong bumaba sa kama na hindi pamilyar sa akin. Dama ko ang lambot ng fur carpet nang sumagi ito sa aking talampakan. Mabango ang paligid na tila amoy ng coffee beans.

Napalunok ako nang maproseso sa utak ko ang nagyayari. Muli kong tiningnan si Nikolas sa higaan na payapang natutulog. Nakatagilid siya at animo'y bata na nakatago sa kumot habang may bimpo sa noo. Tinanggal ko iyon at sinipat siya. Bumaba na ang lagnat niya. Mabuti naman.

Bago pa man siya nagising ay dali-dali na akong lumabas ng kaniyang condo unit. Pilit kong pinipigilan ang sarili ko na maluha sa tuwing naaalala ko kung papaano siya umiyak kanina. . . asking me why did I left him.

Earlier, he passed out due to high fever. Mabuti na lamang at kilala siya ng guard dahil nakatira lang pala siya sa itaas na condo unit. What surprising is that, hindi lang siya basta-bastang residente ng condo. Isa siya sa mga nasa penthouse!

Earlier, I had no choice but to take care of him, hindi dahil napipilitan o naaawa ako, kundi dahil ang tagal kong hinanap-hanap ang presensya niya at natagpuan ko na lamang ang sarili ko na iisa lang ang pamimilian; alagaan siya.

He was sleeping soundly while I am silently crying while holding his hand, brushing his hair, touching his face. That is the face that I longed for. That is the touch that I've been meaning to feel.

I heard him in his sleeping crying out my name. His tears fell to his cheeks while holding my hand tightly, whispering, "Shasta. . ."

Pinunasan ko ang aking mga luha saka pumara ng jeep. Pilit kong inaayos ang sarili ko para naman hindi ako maabutan ng anak ko na namamaga ang mga mata. She's autistic, but she cares.

That same afternoon, I moved my ass out of the bed and forced myself to come in to work and report on site even if I feel so drained and sick to do so.

Hindi ako pupwedeng hindi magtrabaho. Ayan ang palagi kong hinaing sa sarili ko. May anak akong binubuhay at pinapakain. I am not blessed enough for her to meet her dad and have him work for me. Hanggang telenovela o sa social media na lang talaga 'yon. Mukhang hanggang "sana all" na lang ako.

I opened my social media when I noticed it vibrating nonstop. That's when I figured out that my colleagues are having panic mode in our group chat only to say that today is our Halloween Party. We are allowed to bring our children in costumes and have them do trick-or-treat.

Gladly, Hani is awake and just playing with her dinosaur toys. Mabilis lang  din naman siyang yayain. As someone with autism, she's okay going outside. In fact, she likes it bettter than staying in. Sinanay kasi siyang nasa labas para hindi siya natatakot sa tao.

I made her wear her dinosaur onesie. Ito ang huling bagay na binili ko sa kaniya sa huling sahod ko sa Bohol noon. She loves it so much. Ang kaniyang basket naman ay typical na pumpkin basket.

We arrived at site three hours earlier than my planned shift just for the sake of Hani maximizing the event. This is not the first time she'll attend though. I madde sure to put her name tag together with my name and contact number. She also have her medicine in her pockets if worst happened.

Pagkarating pa lamang ay sobrang dami nang bata sa paligid. Papasok ka pa nga lang ay bibigyan ka an agad ng guard ng chocolates na kinatawa na lamang ni Hani. She do love sweets.

"Mama, can you get me water?"

That's what I forgot to bring. Maya't-maya syang umiinom pero ayun pa talaga ang nakalimutan ko. Kapag minamalas ka nga naman.

"Hani, please stay here and don't go anywhere, alright?" bilin ko sa kaniya na tinanguan niya lamang habang paulit-ulit niyang binibilang ang mga tsokolate sa basket niya.

Nagmamadali akong tumakbo patungoo sa pantry at kumuha ng tubig. Hani's attention span is too low for me to leave her for longer than five minutes. Sa loob nga lang ng isang minuto, posibleng nasa ibang bahagi na siya ng mundo.

At tama nga ako. Pagbalik ko ay wala na akong nakitang Hani na naka-dinosaur onesie roon. Napabuntong hininga na lamang ako at nagsimulang hanapin siya. She's a handful sometimes.

Lakad-takbo na nga ang ginawa ko para sa mahagilap siya. Negative naman na nasa mascot siya dahil ayaw niya sa ganoon. Natagpuan ko na lamang ang sarili kong sumisilip sa mga office na naroon and there, I saw Hani talking to a man who seemed to be so entertained with her.

Pagsilip ko ay napalunok na lamang ako nang makitang office pala 'yon ng SOM. First day palang sa production at mukhang mag-la-last day ako agad.

I heave a deep sigh before knocking on the door and opening it only to find Hani talking to the man with swollen eyes like he just cried last night. He's wearing a dinosaur style hoodie as well matching Hani's onesie— the main reason why Hani was captivated.

Pare-pareho kaming nahinto nang magkatinginan kaming lahat. I saw him looked on the old hairclip he's holding. That was the hairclip Hani was wearing. Baka plano niyang ayusin ito.

He probably took a glimpsed to the embossed name in there; Shasta and Nikolas; that I just noticed recently.

I can see the corners of his eyes tearing up as he put the clip back to her hair and give him a lot of chocolates filling her big pumpkin basket. I could not say anything. I couldn't even utter a word.

He touched her cheeks and it is something Hani loathe. Palagi siyang nagwawala kapag hinahawakan siya sa pisngi, ngunit nang gawin 'yon ni Nikolas ay ngumiti lamang si Hani at tumawa pa habang nakatingin sa mga tsokolate niya.

Napalunok na lamang ako nang yakapin ni Nikolas si Hani saka may binulong doon dahilan para lumapit sa akin ito at lumabas. Tahimik kong isinara ang pinto, iniwan si Nikolas, at sinundan si Hani kahit punong-puno pa ako ng kaba.

Today, Hani just met his father that happened to be our senior operations manager; Nikolas Advincula.

--

asereneko.