Waves like the Ocean, Red like the Sea

Introduction

I've never been one to respond well to change; the transitions between environments, shifts in friendships, sudden shoves towards adulthood and reality, were never my thing. My master, Shaak Ti, always said it was because of my heart. 

"You're heart is too big for this world, Laiany. There are evils and darkness around every corner of the galaxy, but remember to feel the light. It helps make this world that much closer".

She taught me to control these feelings, to not hold on too long, but to always remember and learn from my experiences through the force. I remember the day after the battle of Kamino, when I was distraught over the deaths of so many of the clones I had made connections with.

"You need to learn to let these things go. Remember the code; there is no emotion, there is peace. To be a great warrior, you must learn to let your past attachments flow away, like the waves of the sea".

I remember her gesturing out the window to the Kamino ocean, raging strong and harsh. The waves were constantly in motion, always moving, always changing.

"Water has memory, Laiany. It holds onto who it was once was, where it has once been, who it has once met, but it also adapts, evolves with its future. If it doesn't, the water remains stagnant, growing red with bacteria", she stated, pointing at one area on a landing dock that was already turning, "until someone has to come to clean it away. It has to continue to move on, to look ahead, if it wishes to survive. If you are to become a jedi knight, you too must learn this skill".

I had looked back at her then, a smile gracing my face. 

I grew up in a loving home. I was the child of my Mirialan mom and my Miraluka father. My father was studying as a padawan on Coruscant when he met my mother, who worked as an assistant to the Mirialan senator, and once the Clone Wars began, he felt no need to remain. He left the order to marry my mother and escaped to live in solitude on the beautiful moon of Endor, where I was born. While I wasn't with them for long, the love my parents shared taught me the deep empathy I have today. My mother was a kind woman, and she taught me much about my Mirialan culture, as well as instructed me on the cultures of many other species. My papa, like all Miraluka, was blind, and as such, has a strong connection to the force. He taught me to meditate and look deep into the lives of others. It was he who noticed my connection to the force. My parents hid my abilities for as long as they could, but by the time I was 8, the Jedi order came to take me away.

It was hard for me to leave my family, but I had a set path in mind of who I wanted to become: a jedi sentinal. I had visions when I was younger of my work to help defeat evil across the galaxy. I wanted to connect with the people, to help restore their trust in the jedi name. My upbringing definetly helped in this aspect. I excelled in my studies, and became gifted in my connection with the force. My strong heritage granted me abilities in visions and I became adapt at force healing. While I did quite well in this aspect, I had difficulty in battle training, specifically in allowing myself to turn away from my emotions and trust the clones to know what they are doing. I became a padawan to Shaak Ti not only to learn more about the clones and work with the medical scientists on Kamino, but also to learn the mindset of battle from the great warrior.

I remember the last time we ever spoke. I had saw her looking out at the vast ocean, as we had done so many times together in training. She had turned to me and gestured over. I had observed her face before I turned back to face the Kamino oceans.

"Breathe in and out, my padawan".

"Just like the flow of the waves", I responded, just like the exercises we had gone over many a time before.

"Thank you master, for everything".

I looked at our reflections in the window. I was in my robes, a mixture of neutral browns and greens. My padawan beads were tied into my braid, the green bead representing my studies in the living force and precognitive visions and the white bead representing my healing training. My brown hair was half-up half-down, and my Mirialan tattoos were on display. My eyes floated from my tattoos to my skin, a mixture pigments from the tan skin of my father and the green skin of my mother. I had my yellow-bladed lightsaber on my belt, the memory of making as a youngling passing my mind. So much had changed since those early years. I looked mature, prepared.