no one else can do || soonchan

☆ 6

chan was trying to understand one thing: why?

why soonyoung? why now? why was he feeling this way? why were his friends absolutely sure that he had feelings for soonyoung?

actually, that last question was bothering him the most. chan just had this realization recently, and yet when he told his friends, they weren't surprised. no, they were ecstatic. relieved, even.

and chan didn't understand this.

how did his friends know before he did? he only told three of them, yet they all were on board with the idea. that means they're either super perceptive of chan or... chan has liked soonyoung for a long time.

but that made no sense to chan. soonyoung was just his friend. a friend he's spent countless hours on the phone with. a friend he's spent countless hours dancing with. had plenty of drunken conversations with. plenty of secrets shared. plenty of plain, friendly memories.

so, when he called seungkwan earlier and asked the older boy these questions, he didn't feel any better with seungkwan's responses. in fact, he felt even more confused.

"chan, i can't tell you how you feel for hyung."

chan groaned loudly, throwing his head back as he said, "yes, you can! hyung, seriously. i–" the boy paused, frowning as he kicked his desk chair softly.

chan stared at the floor as he whispered, "hyung, i don't know how to do this. he's always been just a friend in my eyes."

"i assure you that is not true."

chan began to pace around the room, scoffing loudly as he said, "see, that's what i mean! how come you're so sure, and i just..." the boy trailed off, slowly crawling onto his bed and flopping down onto his stomach with a huff. "i don't know, i just can't see it."

"that's because you've been denying it for so long, dummy."

"don't call me dumb!"

"hey, it's not my fault you're so bad at communicating."

chan scoffed again, louder this time, as he exclaimed, "i know you're not talking! remind me again, who was the one who broke up with their boyfriend because he was bad at communicating?"

seungkwan spluttered on the other line as he tried to gather his thoughts. he tsked loudly as he said, "okay, that's not fair! mingyu was the one who asked for a break first–"

a muffled voice a bit further away from seungkwan's line said, "cutie, are you ever going to let me live that down?"

"darling, it's water under the bridge! that doesn't mean i can't bring it up, though." seungkwan said with a bit of challenge in his voice.

chan furrowed his eyebrows as the other line went silent. he sat up slightly as he put his phone on speaker, assuming that the volume of his phone was lowered somehow. all of a sudden, he heard kissing noises, and he rolled his eyes, realizing that the couple were making out. though chan was their number one supporter, they were so annoying sometimes.

"ugh, if you two are going to make out, at least hang up first." chan whined as he rolled over to his back, staring up at his ceiling in disgust as he held his phone away from his ear. he quickly took it off of the speaker, sighing as he heard them laugh and stop kissing.

"chan, i can't give you all of the answers. i'm really sorry. but i will say this one thing: think back. think back really hard. you will find the answer you're looking for eventually, i promise."