no one else can do || soonchan

★ 5

soonyoung would be lying if he said he wasn't nervous right now.

practice was already over, but a few of the members stayed behind to practice for the competition. it was coming up in a few weeks, so tensions were high. soonyoung understood, he was always incredibly stressed out before every competition. even if he wasn't competing, he still felt stress for his team. some of the members had solos of their own to work on, so soonyoung was fine with them practicing as long as they wanted to.

even if it was chan that stayed, too.

soonyoung didn't mean for it to happen, but when he started thinking about chan, seeing him in a different light, he unconsciously distanced himself from the young boy. soonyoung thought it was insane that he was feeling this way about the boy.

why him? why now?

chan has always been one of his closest friends. the two boys have been through so much together. he's laughed and cried with the boy. they worked out together. they used to study together – well, chan would be studying, soonyoung was usually playing games on his phone. they walked into each other's apartment/dorm with no announcement. they've even met each other's families.

things were always so natural with soonyoung and chan. but now he's sitting here, watching chan with a careful eye as the boy is marking himself, and he feels a goofy grin growing on his face.

soonyoung found this embarrassing. he feels like a lovestruck teenager. at his big age, he was struggling with his feelings for his friend.

how cliché.

now he's starting to curse himself for teasing seungkwan and seokmin so much for their crushes. at least they were dating their crushes, and soonyoung was just watching chan dance with a stupid grin on his face. maybe he should talk to them about this.

"hyung, can you help me out?"

soonyoung snapped out of his thoughts, nodding his head numbly as he stood up. he paused when he saw chan smile and head over to jisung, helping the younger boy out with a part of his own solo.

soonyoung sat down with a slump in his shoulders, huffing quietly as he watched the two boys dance together. the older boy wasn't used to seeing chan like this, acting like an older brother. being mature. not that soonyoung didn't think chan was mature, but this was different.

chan is all grown up now.

and this is a thought soonyoung always struggled with in the past two years. chan was always the bright-eyed boy who loved nothing more than dancing and his friends. and he still was, but soonyoung felt a sense of admiration swell in him as he watched his young friend lead his juniors along.

it was interesting. chan was an adult, he always has been for as long as they've been friends, but soonyoung always loved to baby the younger boy. he always saw him as just his adorable little brother. the crown jewel of the group. the apple of his eye. someone he always cherished.

soonyoung let out a light scoff as he shook his head at himself. he was denying his feelings for the boy, and yet he talked about him and regarded him in such a lovely light?

what exactly am i denying?

as soonyoung watched the members slowly leave the studio, absent-minded as he waved goodbye to them, he pulled his knees up to his chest. this didn't go unnoticed by chan, but as they locked eyes, both boys didn't know what to say. it was chan who looked away first, which soonyoung was thankful for. he didn't know if he had the guts to keep the eye contact going.

soonyoung leaned his head back against the mirror, staring up at the ceiling with a huff. he listened as chan continued to practice, his sneakers squeaking against the floor as he jumped from one move to the next.