The Puzzle Of Love | Ishman

Ch.13

*Ishan's POV*

"Look, we're here"
I brought him home. He was trying to help with the directions but half of them went straight into the wall, so I Just figured it out on my own.

"Let's go inside, Shubman"
"No... No I shouldn't. Ishan will think I'm crazy, that I got drunk and now I'm daring to step inside and face him, but he'll not know I can't."
"How would you sleep, then?"
"I'll sleep here. Outside. I don't want to trouble my Ishu"
"But it's not healthy, Shubman. You might catch a cold, or anything could happen!"
"No it's okay. Thank you... I think you can leave"
"Yeah, I will"

I fake left, just imitating that I did, but sitting opposite to him, which he didn't notice.

"I'm sorry, Darling. I should have told you... I love you so much. I'll take you shopping tomorrow, I promise. I ruined your day"
He spoke into the door, resting his head on the wall, below the nameplate.

He soon was snoring a little, so I went near him and put his head in my lap, caressing his hair.

We'll talk tomorrow, then.

....

I woke up to a pain in my sides. I winced loudly, waking up the man in my lap.
"I-ishan? Why are you here?... Why aren't you inside?"
"Come inside with me, I'll tell you everything"

"What happened yesterday?"
"I- I'm sorry Ishan. I acted like a jerk. I'm an idiot. I... Here, slap me, hurt me, kille for all you want, I won't say a word. I deserve this. I'm sorry for hurting you, Ishan... I did not want to make you cry... I promised I'll keep you safe and here I am... Hurting you"
"Shubman... You know I don't want to hit you.... Just please talk to me..."
"Ishan I don't know how to..."
"How about we both share what we haven't said?"
"... Are you sure?"
"I am, Shubman... I'll get some water first"

I stood up, but winced at the pain. It's really starting to hurt my sides.
"What's wrong, Darling? ...I didn't... I didn't hurt you? Did I-"
"No! No no, you didn't..."
"Where does it hurt?"
"I... My sides"
"Can I see?"

I didn't say anything, neither nodded. He still stood up to check what was wrong, lifting my shirt just a little.

"*Gasps* Ish- Ishu... You're covered in blood... Who did that? Please tell me it wasn't me... I'll, I'll die if it was me... I can't- "
"I did it. I ... I cut my sides.... I'm sorry, Shubman... I didn't know what to do... You left me, angry and screaming at me ... And, and a voice instructed me to do so.... I had to"

He pulled on his hair, loud sobs and cries leaving his mouth.
"I'm stupid, stupid, so bad. I'm the worst... I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry"

He continued crying and screaming, hitting his hand on the table.
"Shubman, you'll hurt yourself"
"It's better I do, Ishan. I- I'm the reason behind this.... All the blood, the cuts, the pain. Ishan, I'm, I'm not good for yo-"
"Don't say that... You're more than enough for me."
"But I was supposed to keep you safe, not hurt you more"
"But it wasn't entirely your fault"
"It was. It is."
"... How long are we going to argue about this, Shubman? I don't like this. I don't want you to hit yourself. I hate seeing you blame yourself for everything.... I just want everything back, Shubi...."
"But Ishan.... I made a mistake... No, even worse."
"Do you still love me, Shubman?"
"... Ishan, what happened? "
"Please tell me, Shubman. I need the answer"
"I do, Ishan. I love you"
"Then why would you do something that hurts me.. I'm not talking about the cuts... Why would you keep blaming yourself? "

We didn't exchange any words. I let him process the information and went to the kitchen to get some water for both of us.

The moment I stepped out, my frame met a heavier, taller one, crashing into me. Arms wrapping behind my back, head resting on mine.