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┌── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──┐
You know that feeling of sand slipping past your fingers no matter how tight you clasp your fist? Or the feeling of falling without a parachute? Or the feeling of knowing someone will leave but can't do anything except watch them leave? I don't know what to name the feeling but I'm sure as hell not okay.
She's leaving and all I can do is stroke her head as she's sleeping while hugging me tight. Her warmth will no longer be there with me tomorrow and for the rest of the three years she's gone for her further studies. When she told me she got admission in Princeton university, I think i was more happier than anyone on this planet could've been. She's been my friend, best friend, student, girlfriend, lover and the lighthouse of my universe. She's so much more than I could ever explain. When she leaves, I'll miss her. That's one thing but I don't want to think about the pain she will have to go through. Staying away from family is a different pain and y/n has never experienced that. She always had someone. And now, she won't.
Thanks to the technology, calls will be possible but is it really the same? She stirred and opened her eyes softly. "Oh did I fall asleep?" She straightened her hair and looked at the time. Eighteen hours, 29 minutes for her flight. "I'm so sorry Minho. Our dinner —" she looked at the plate of food which was long gone cold. "It's fine you sleepyhead. Get some more sleep. I'll get you a pillow and a blanket." I said and was about to stand up to fetch a pillow until she held my wrist.
"Look here." I took a second before looking up at her. She glanced deep into my eyes before hugging me close. "I swear I didn't cry." I said and she chuckled, drawing random patterns on my back.
"Tell me, how was it like for you to leave your home and work here?" She asked me while still not breaking the hug. "Difficult." I said and she breathed sharply. "Did you ever feel like going back?" She asked again and this time I took a while to answer.
"Many times. But my goals were bigger. I wanted to be a teacher and I became one. Goals really do push your limits." I said in hopes that she won't think of giving up and staying back. I want her to go and explore the world but I also want her with me. I certainly won't stop her but once she's gone, I don't think smiles would mean anything to me anymore.
"Are you scared?" I asked her a question which I already knew the answer to. "I don't know Minho. If I admit I'm scared, it'll be unfair to all that hard work of reaching here." She let go of the hug and looked at me. "But yes, I am." She admitted and she tried to say it as normally as she could but I could feel the pain behind those words.
"And you know what? You should be. Your head and heart are probably battling right now as they should." I smiled and held her hand. "But do you think you can fly without learning how to jump?" I asked and she gave me a glare. "You know humans can't fly right?" This girl—
