Reaper - twd fanfic

9

  I wake up rolling over to attach my limbs to Daryl missing the contact except he isn't here. My eyes flutter open taking in the morning light as I search the trailer for him only to come up short. I see fresh clothes on the coffee table along with a note and drag my exhausted body towards it. I pick up the note admiring his sloppy handwriting.

'Gettin breakfast. Be back soon.'

  I smile as butterflies circle my stomach at the thought he's out doing something for me, let alone cared enough to let me know. I undress and throw on the clothes he'd left for me feeling much more comfortable. The door to the trailer bangs open drawing my attention to it immediately, my guard up. I relax when I see Daryl walking in with a tray grunting as he slams the door closed. I laugh when I realize how not quiet he was being probably forgetting I might have been sleeping. He freezes when he sees me up and dressed, looking at me up and down before continuing to sit on the couch. He sets the tray down on the coffee table and gestures with his hand for me to join him.

"You're gonna love this, fresh jam and toast. Eggs, and juice." He says pointing at all the things on the tray.

"I don't think I can remember the last time I had jam and toast, let alone eggs." My mouth watering at the sight and smell of the food.

"Oh! I got this for ya, might be a little smushed but.." he says holding out a flower. I'm not good with plants but I'm pretty sure it's a lily.

"You- that's so sweet." I say staring at this man with adoration, taking the flower from his grasp.

"Thought you'd like it." He says avoiding my eyes.

"I do.." I say reaching my hand over to lay on top of his, he looks at me searching my features.

  I lean in slowly looking at his lips as I do waiting for him to meet me halfway. His hand flies up to my neck pulling me in quickly as his lips attach to mine feverishly. It's deep and passionate, but over too soon. He pulls away looking at me with nothing but kindness.

"Food will get cold.. we should eat." He says gruffly and starts handing me a plate.

  We eat silently, I moan as the toast enters my mouth, savoring the flavor of the jam and bread before it slides down my throat. Daryl let's a small smile creep on his lips as he eats his own food, finding my reaction comical. Once we're finished I decide to have the hard conversation sooner rather than later, getting it out of the way completely.

"I have to tell you something and you have every right to scream in my face, whatever you feel is right." I say nervously and he stares at me puzzled.

"Well spit it out." He says.

"I... slept with Negan." I say looking for any signs of anger in his features waiting for his blow out response.

"You what?" He asks me shocked.

"I had to find a way to get him to trust me, I was pulling every trick up my sleeve to get in his good graces so I could get you out." I say as tears well up in my eyes.

"Ya ain't have to do that Tasha. He's- he killed-" I cut him off so I don't have to remember that vile night.

"I know! I know okay? I- I don't know what I was thinking. I didn't want to die, I didn't want you to die I just-" I can't bring myself to justify my actions. I know they're wrong, there was no excuse I could make that made it reasonable. Negan was a murderer.

"Do you love him?" He asks quietly.

"No! No I don't." I say looking in his eyes begging him to believe me. I spent weeks with Negan, I only slept with him twice, barely saw him half the time there was no way I could love him. The things I saw him do...