You're no good for me - Negan x Reader

9.

"It's not always that simple Judith..."

"If he did something bad, why isn't he a prisoner too?"

"Nobody knows what he did."

"Except you." She said.

Not just me, I thought to myself.

"Well now there's nothing to be done about it. Your mom said I have to spend a year down here."

"A year?" She said with a look of pity.

"Hey, what's one more?" I said with a toothy grin. I didn't want her to feel bad for me. I didn't want anyone to feel bad for me.

Y/N was right, this was all my fault. Oh but it felt good to beat the ever loving fuck out of Chuck. My only regret was that I didn't kill him.

"But who is going to take care of the gardens?"

I let out a sigh, I missed the sun on my skin, my hands in the dirt and the satisfaction of seeing everything thrive. "Someone more deserving I suppose."

I looked out into the distance and saw her, it was Y/N. There was a pang in my chest, some type of feeling that I couldn't identify. She was far enough away that she couldn't see me. Her eyes were downcast, not noticing the world around her. She had a book clutched in her arms.

She sat down in front of a large oak tree, leaning against the trunk. Her eyebrows furrowed in concentration as she began reading.

I hadn't seen her since that night, it felt like forever ago.

"You really are a monster." rung in my ears, just thinking about it stung just as much as it did when she had said it.

Her removal from my life left me dazed and confused. I had no answers as to why I felt so empty, why I person I barely knew had so much control over me.

I never looked away, she was entranced in her reading, and perhaps I was entranced by her.

"Why are you staring at that girl?" Judith asked, causing me to snap back to reality.

"What?" I said with a laugh, pretending to be confused. "I'm not..."

A smile tugged at Judith's mouth as she gave me a knowing look. "Yes you were."

"No I wasn't." We went back and forth.

"Do you love her?"

"What? I said shocked.

"You heard me, Negan."

Do I love her? No... I haven't loved anyone since...

"No. I don't love her." I said firmly.

"But you care about her, don't you?" Judith said, her smirk growing.

"You sure are a nosy kid."

"I know. She's pretty. Why don't you love her?"

I was beginning to become a little agitated with this interrogation. "Look Judith, she doesn't want anything to do with me."

"Is it because you're a prisoner and look kinda dirty?"

I let out a sigh, "That's probably it."

Judith looked into my eyes as if she could read my soul. "What's the real reason?"

I looked at the ground, ashamed. She was the only one I could confide in. A child. I might as well reveal part of the truth. "I may have..." I paused for a moment. "said some things I shouldn't have. Things I didn't really mean."

"You were angry." She said.

"No I wasn't angry. I was scared." I admitted.

She looked shocked. "You were scared?" She said as though she couldn't believe it. "I didn't think men like you got scared."