In the Shadows

Part Fourteen: the Hike

He started to ask me more about my time at the school. He wanted to know about my classes, my hobbies, and my friends. Not that I really had any to discuss. I told him about my family and my art, he talked about his family too and how they all played baseball. Hearing how intensely he trained and how serious his dad was about it, I started to understand the pressure he was under. His dad scheduled Anthony and his brother to practice and play every minute they weren't in school or asleep. The boy's were playing ball before they were even in kindergarten.

"Is that what made you deal with your shit the wrong way?" I asked cautiously.

Looking out at the town below us, he nodded. "Don't get me wrong. I love baseball, I love everything about it. But sometimes I wonder what I might be missing. A little while ago I got hurt and had to stop playing for a few months. That was when stuff got really bad."

"I'm so sorry." I took his hand and rested my head on his shoulder. He kissed my hair.

"What about you? If you don't mind me asking, that is. But when you called me the other day... I was really worried about you, Steph. What happened?" I hesitated to say anything. He tilted my chin up at him with his fingertip, he gave a sympathetic grin and said, "Whatever it is, you shouldn't keep it bottled up. You don't have to tell me, but nothing you say can scare me off. I'm in this for the long haul."

    He was right. I didn't want to keep my feelings bottled up, but I also didn't want to scare him away. Something about him was constantly bringing me out of my shell. And what had happened to me wasn't going anywhere.

    I decided to tell him. With little detail, I told him about Cain; the way he came in and took control of me. I told him about the movie date and what Cain did to me. I told Anthony about when I tried to get help and was shamed by the counselor, I told him about Cain's friends, and Monica, and how far I was falling behind in school. I told him how lost I felt; how alone and hopeless I had been. In his comfort, all my ugly truths from the last few months came pouring out.

    All the fractured parts of myself were exposed, and I was waiting for Anthony's response. He sat quietly, looking down at his shoes, contemplating everything I had said. I was so afraid of being too honest. My throat grew tighter, tears blurred my eyes. I choked on my breath. I just ruined this, didn't I?

Effortlessly, Anthony scooped me up and pulled me onto his lap. I fell apart. Sobbing into his shirt, Anthony's big strong arms locked around me.

"I'm sorry." I whimpered.

"Would you stop apologizing." He kissed my forehead. Stroking my hair, his voice cracked as he spoke. "If you let me, I am going to spend the rest of my life protecting you."

***

We stayed up in the rocks for a few hours before heading back down to reality. The more time I spent with Anthony, the more life felt like a dream. I wasn't sure what exactly I was feeling but I knew it was good. My heart had never been so happy.

We followed the road that winded back and forth downhill. It wasn't a very steep decline, which gave Anthony an idea.

"Steph, do you trust me?"

"Why?" I did trust him, but I was skeptical.

He laughed, "This will be fun, come on."

Anthony dropped his long board on the ground, holding one foot in front of the wheels so it wouldn't roll. He held my hand while I stepped on. He had me practice leaning back and forth, feeling the way the board dipped and wiggled. Once I was comfortable, Anthony climbed on, too. His body pressed close to my backside, his feet against the outside of mine, he wrapped one arm around my middle.

"Just lean with me and I will take care of the rest." He spoke with such confidence. I nodded and off we went.

Starting slow, we gradually gained speed rolling down the empty road. Anthony crouched down, the arm not holding me extended for balance as we moved faster. Coming to the first turn, he pressed into his toes and I followed his lead. The board tilted forwards and began to turn. Suddenly and with a jerk, Anthony pushed his back foot causing the back of the board to slide out. The wheels scraped loudly on the asphalt as we drifted around the turn, taking even more speed into the straightaway.

I squealed with delight. Anthony held me tighter.

With a laugh, I yelled over the roaring wind, "Okay! Okay! Anthony, pull over!"

I heard him chuckle, too. He leaned back on his heels, steering us into the dirt on the shoulder of the road. We stopped quickly in the loose dirt. Anthony hopped off the board, and I jumped to follow. My landing wasn't nearly as smooth, fumbling as my feet got caught on the grip tape. I didn't fall, Anthony held me steadily the entire time.

Keeping me in his embrace, he asked, "Was that fun?"

"Yes!" I was still laughing wildly. I had never felt adrenaline like this. I grabbed the sleeves of his t-shirt, bouncing on my tippy toes.

Anthony was smiling so big, his amber eyes looked almost closed. He bent over to kiss me. I wrapped my arms around his neck, pressing myself up on my feet. I didn't realize just how much of a difference in our height there was. It didn't matter. He was a perfect fit. Our lips locked, hearts racing in sync.

My mouth parted slightly as an invitation. Anthony's head twisted, his nose bumping into mine. I tasted his tongue as it brushed against mine. I swallowed his warmth, but his kiss made me shiver with excitement. I wanted more.

He pulled away, but not far. My mouth still open, eyes still closed, we breathed each others air as I waited for him to kiss me again. He placed a peck on my lips and then my nose before leaving our embrace. His phone was ringing.

With a sigh, he said "Hang on, it's my dad."

I nodded. Watching him step away to take the call. I twiddled my thumbs, pretending not to eavesdrop:

Hey dad. I'm just out with- no, I didn't. Yeah. Yes. I don't know, dad, I only have my longboard. Thirty minutes maybe? ...What?! Why? Ugh, fine. Yeah, whatever, fine.

He hung up angrily. Sending a quick text message before tucking his phone away in his pocket, Anthony walked back over to me.

"I'm sorry, I have to go. My dad needs me home for something." He sounded upset.

"That's okay. Is everything alright?"

"Yeah, it's fine. My mom is going to pick me up in the parking lot. Do you want a ride home?" He motioned to the bottom of the hill, the old entrance for the hiking trails.

I shook my head, "It's okay, I'd rather walk for a bit. It's not too far anyway."

"Okay." He hooked his arm around my shoulders and we began walking down the rest of the hill together. He tried to play it off, but I knew something was really bothering him.

We didn't wait long before his mom's large white SUV came pulling in to the parking lot. Before walking over to her car, he took both of my hands in his and kissed me one more time. I don't think I will ever tire of his gentle lips on mine.

"Steph, before I go.. " he seemed nervous, "I had something I wanted to ask."

"Go ahead."

He bit his lip, exhaled sharply, then said, "Would you be my girlfriend?"

I couldn't have smiled bigger if I tried. "Yes. Of course, I will."

His mom honked impatiently. Anthony kissed me again before jogging over to the car.

My head was spinning. I was euphoric.

Was this love?