The baby brother of ASL

Chapter 37

As Sebastian lay there in the warmth, ever so gratfeul to the man that was no longer just a random man that he enjoyed playing around with but had become his strong shield and safe heaven, miles and seas away Mihawk slumped over his dinning table with a defeated sigh.

 All his energy was drained and all sucked away, pulled out of his soul leaving his body that now felt like a dead body.

It felt as if someone merely even touched him he would snap into a million pieces, let loose his tears and let go of everything that seemed to have put him into a choke hold. 

His whole head was pounding, throbbing in a dull kind of pain and he was too tired to even lift his head up to acknowledge the presence of the ghost girl

Everything was so exhausting, so tiring, sufforcating it was ever so meaningless and so dull. 

Mihawk just slumped over that dinning table, motivated to do nothing and simply wishing to lay there forever and ever till death parted him away from his body. 

He wondered why at this point he was even living to begin with, living was so tiring, boring, burdensome and painful. 

Everything was happening all at once and at some point it felt like he had gotten lost in the rush. It felt like even though he trained and tried his best he was waving his sword around in the air and making no impact. 

Everything was so sufforcating. 

Everything was just so confusing. 

All he wanted to was to puke, he wanted to yell, to scream for help by in his current position it seemed like someone had shoved down a cloth down his throat to silence him.

It was so tiring. 

" Sweetheart, my precious little brother," the wind chimmed circling around the slumped figure," it's going to be okay, everything is going to be okay." 

Maybe..... maybe it would be. 

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The young child named Cloudy that brightened his life ever so brightly with those smiles and grins he grinned whenever he would throw another prank of him had become such a big, important person in his life. The small child had grown and bonded onto and with him to the point Shanks wasn't even sure he could ever live to see the child in pain ever again. Hell the whole world would be damned and the oceans will be dyed blood red if someone ever did. 

Yet that didn't mean Shanks could or would or even should give up on finding his so. No there was no way he would do that to any child of his, especially the child of the love of his love. 

What should he even need to do. 
Too many thoughts were flying around in his these days. 

What if he did find his son at this time? 
Of course that would be one of the happiest days of his life but Shanks was now worried.
Would he accidently start to treat Cloudy less? 
would he hurt that already hurt child even more? 
Would his son think his own father had replaced him? 
What would Leona, Mihawk or even those two ever think about this. 

Shanks didn't even know how to even deal with his current situation.

Actually Shanks didn't know what to do most of the time ever since Leona.... disappeared. 

Even as a child, Sebastian's mother, the love of his life, the other half of his soul, his wife had been besides him. 
They had fought side by side, went through tears, hell and the deepest depth of hell together, they held together after Roger's death, as they were chased to death and made every decison together. 
Of course they fought almost everyday, punched each other and swore at each other but they had been inseperable since day one. 
But what he knew right now was that he needed some air to clear his head. 

Careful not to wake up Cloudy laying besides him, the red haired pirate silently crept out of his room almost too desperatly. But the cooling outside air that met him was something he thought he would never regret. 

For as soon as he pulled open the door the cold air crashed onto him like a tsunami. 
The refreshing breeze dived down into his lungs and it felt as if the wind blew off the weight on his shoulders away. 

" can't sleep?" 

" You too?" the amused smile of his first mate greeted him on the empty deck illuminated by the eerie moonlight that shone down on the boat. 

" Yeah I guess." 

" What is it this time?" Shanks could only roll his eyes and snort out in refusal at his first mate's remark. 

" What do you mean ' this time'? " 

" Don't act like a shocked teenaged boy with me right now." 

" I did not act like a teenage kid, I'm an adult man."

" That's what you get offended by?" 

" I guess." 

" So do tell me what is bothering poor teenage shanks these days that he can't even sleep?" 

" Just.............." the firm look of his first mate telling him that everything would be fine with him brought the words out of his throat," my son?" 

" Go on." 

" What if my son suddenly appears, I mean that is a  good thing but you know I don't even know anymore. What would Leona think about this situation? Would they think I replaced them. that isn't true I would glady die for them, I'm not like my father there's no way I'll do that. What would I say to Cloudy? But even if it might be hard I need to find him. I need to find my son, Ben, I can't stop, I won't stop and I shouldn't stop. There's no way I'm letting my own child die or grow up without knowing his father and it was what Leona wanted anyways and you know me I'm a real sucker for her. But what I'm trying to say is that right now, my son is.... my everything." 

" So you don't know what to do?"

" yeah.."

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But what Shanks also didn't know was that they were speaking too loudy and the fact that Cloudy was an extreme light sleeper.