motion sickness

-1- an invitation

a/n : the first 8 chapters of this are all coming out at once cause this story has already been on AO3 for some time but I really miss my wattpad days so im trying to keep it alive for the few of you who may read this. i love you all

Harry's POV

"I don't feel like I have the right to be standing up here as the first speaker tonight."

It had been frigid since morning, an almost wintery breeze sending a shiver down Harry's spine as he stood on the podium, anxiously fiddling with the cards Hermione had urged him to prepare, even though he knew he wouldn't even spare them a glance. "I think most of the people gathered here are far too ineffable for anything I could ever say but not to even try would be to dishonour them and so I would like to try."

In the weeks leading up to today, Harry hadn't been bothered by the prospect of a speech in front of everyone. To be honest, the cause of his anxiety was the looming thought of just being there. Having the knowledge that everyone was expecting him to have an amazingly sentimental and heartfelt speech felt like a massive weight had been placed upon his shoulders. But as he stepped up to the podium, his throat felt as if it had been filled with sand. This has never really been a problem for him as in his opinion, he thought he was quite well-spoken.

Harry could see the anticipation in everyone's faces. Kingsley was sitting 4 rows from the front and when he made eye contact with Harry, the tall, bald man gave him a curt nod of encouragement. His aging was easily seen in his appearance, despite it only being a couple years since the pair were first introduced. Harry, however, thought that Kingsley was incapable of looking frail. The man had several dark plasters and thin strips of tape stuck around his face to cover the many cuts that adorned it. He had been constantly shifting to avoid putting too much pressure on the numerous contusions that littered his muscular body. Harry was similar. Of course, healing spells and potions had been offered to him on many occasions but for once, he just wanted to experience what if felt like to be a muggle - to heal like a normal person. He had wanted to experience even just a small sliver of the muggle world again. Maybe it was a way of trying to pretend this all never happened. But it was a futile effort as there was no denying the mass destruction that had taken place and each way he turned, he was reminded of that fact.

"I would say that Remus was the first person I saw as family. He not only knew my parents, but they were his best friends. He never hesitated to answer any questions I had about them and we- well, it made me feel as normal as someone like me is capable of feeling." Harry swallowed nervously, his throat burning uncomfortably with the motion. He had practically forced a glass of water down about five minutes before he began his speech, but it had done absolutely nothing to help calm his nerves. Perhaps a shot would of worked better.

Remus had evoked so many new feelings in Harry and so, theoretically, it should be easy to talk about the impact his life had on him but as he felt the unfamiliar atmosphere, it was as though he had never met the man he was supposed to talk about. However, he knew that he would never forgive himself if he messed this up.

"Professor Lupin was my third year Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher and the first practical lesson we had was a lesson on Boggarts. He was under the impression that my greatest fear was fear itself - taking shape in the form a dementor as that year had been my first encounter with one. Whilst I agree with him that it is wiser to be afraid of fear itself than anything else, I think, though I was unaware at the time, the thing that I feared the most was losing the people closest to me. After my godfather passed away, Professor Lupin was all that I had left to connect me to my parents, and it scared me not to have someone in my life who was a father figure to me in that sense. I am not and never will be as brave as this man and his wife was. They both offered their lives in trade for keeping all of us here safe. To make sure we have a life worth living. For that, we owe him and Tonks our life, even in death."