Sinners || Dottore

~2~

My life was rather a boring one.

I never even thought that i could rebel against my parents will. My mother was scary at times, and my father... well let's say that he was the quiet type, earning money for his family as if it was his only responsibility. As I grew up I realized how shallow he was, playing video games on his phone, and hiding beers in all of a places so no one could see them. In truth every one knew, but never said anything. I was silent too i learned that sometimes it's better to not say anything. Overall even with all of that I was raised pretty well if i had to say, but I must admit that i might have turned out a bit... crooked somehow. People suffering was indifferent to me, but I've learnt how to successfully hide my true thoughts. Pretending. Pretending.. Pretending... It was the easy way out.

When I turned nineteen I had to finally start to act as an adult, but my mind was still that of a stubborn child. That is when my rebellion started. It was a time when I had to start learning for my graduation exams, but I couldn't care less about them at that time. I was exhausted after all of the years when I studied just for good marks, so that my mother wouldn't shout at me.
I hated shouting and arguing and so I did everything to prevent the any situation that could start a fight.
Since I was a child I did everything to not make my parents angry or disappointed in me. On the opposite my older sister was a rebellious troublemaker and everything she did ended in a terrible argument. Of course I was the one that was always blamed.

But I guess apple does not fall far from the tree, as I've given up on studying and started to play video games just like my father and sister in their pasts. Funny. Any game was good, even a lame otome game as long as it was interesting. I remember how desperately I wished to turn back time to the moments where I was still a naive kid. Because of that... somehow I totally forgot about the future.

Maybe It was not such a big loss since soon I found out that I was not meant to have any future at all. I was diagnosed with cancer in the latest state at that. How pathetic that was.

Soon after that i simply died without being able to enjoy life.
My death was not noble, not appealing, not saddening and not important at all as the world never mourned my death.
At my last moments I wished to simply live, and when I opened my eyes, my wish did came truth BUT...

It was not a heaven where I was... but a worst hell I could ever imagine.

Was it worth to challenge the fate like that? Well... it was definitely stupid.